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Coming Out

T

tonib

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So yesterday at Christmas, my retired military father, with more tact and gentleness than I would have ever given him credit for having, made it very clear that if I were to come out, he and my mother would love me unconditionally. All they want for me is to be loved with whomever makes me happy.

I was floored. I'm not out to my family. So of course I did the chicken thing and said thanks and if I find that special person I'll let them know.

I don't know what to do now. I don't want to be awkward around my parents but it's weird thinking they know.

I am so confused.
 
gb2000ie

gb2000ie

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tonib said:
So yesterday at Christmas, my retired military father, with more tact and gentleness than I would have ever given him credit for having, made it very clear that if I were to come out, he and my mother would love me unconditionally. All they want for me is to be loved with whomever makes me happy.

I was floored. I'm not out to my family. So of course I did the chicken thing and said thanks and if I find that special person I'll let them know.

I don't know what to do now. I don't want to be awkward around my parents but it's weird thinking they know.

I am so confused.
Click to expand...

Being your parents, they have probably figured it out. So, that means they could have responded in three ways:
1) ignore it
2) ask you flat out
3) make it clear that they have no problems with one of their kids being gay

I would argue that they did the kindest and nicest thing they could have.

I'd suggest taking the opportunity of being honest with them.

B.
 
bigsal

bigsal

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You have no idea how lucky you are to have two parents as well.
Have opened their hearts, a rare thing in the relationship between parents and kids gay.
 
W!nston

W!nston

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What a wonderful thing to have happen. A gift of love.

You are probably thinking your sexuality is a private part of your life. Whether this is a self-imposed gag order or some other restraint you can now feel a little less awkward when the subject comes up. With such loving parents as yours obviously are I'm sure you will know when and how to speak freely about that particular 'private' part of your life.

I'm sure you know how fortunate you are to have parents who accept you unconditionally and I'm sure you have always felt loved.

Good for you tonib my fellow Gay brother :)
 
Shelter

Shelter

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What Dadeda has said is more than true. Family (parents and/or siblings) already know or feel it. And if they come up to you in such a loving manner - you really will be a happy young man. So be honest and come up to your parents as well and you will see how easier life will be for both parts afterwards.
 
Urban

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Absolutely without question your next move is to come out to your parents!!!

They have given you an opening that very, very few of us have had. When I came out to my parents, they already knew I was gay but had never said anything; I think they were just waiting until I felt comfortable enough to talk to them about it. It was a different time, when being gay was much less discussed.

Today is a different day; your parents have probably sensed your reluctance and given you a chance to talk about it. Do it now! You'll be surprised how relieved you feel, how easy it will be to talk about, and how much it will improve your relationship with them, even if you get along perfectly well with them now.
 
Shelter

Shelter

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Urban said:
Absolutely without question your next move is to come out to your parents!!!

They have given you an opening that very, very few of us have had. When I came out to my parents, they already knew I was gay but had never said anything; I think they were just waiting until I felt comfortable enough to talk to them about it. It was a different time, when being gay was much less discussed.

Today is a different day; your parents have probably sensed your reluctance and given you a chance to talk about it. Do it now! You'll be surprised how relieved you feel, how easy it will be to talk about, and how much it will improve your relationship with them, even if you get along perfectly well with them now.
Click to expand...

:agree::agree::agree::agree::agree:
 
S

Sinnerr

Guest
It seems like the only one person in the house who hasn't accept your sexuality yet is you.

Good old mantra tells: "You are your worst enemy."

Think about it! ;)
 
topdog

topdog

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I assume you haven't come out because you were afraid that they might reject you. But your parents have just taken that risk off the table. I think the next question may be what do you want your relationship with your parents to be? They have opened up new possibilities.

Find my previous tips on coming out here

And while you are thinking through your options, your parents reminded me of this similar musical conversation.

 
james1981

james1981

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I really like Avenue Q. I like the advice in this thread even more so.
 
D

down_the_street

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You are lucky. I'm bi and my mother -- despite several discussions -- refuses to believe it. If your parents accept you, then run with it. Maybe not right away, but when the time is right, bring it up.
 
Otage

Otage

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Well one thing is for sure now, you have nothing to stress about:) Just tell them when you're ready, absorb the new fact, get comfortable with it. But they've done great thing. And don't get stressed about the fact that you should immediatly tell them, you're the one who decides in the end, but I can't see no harm coming from telling them now, it will most likely bring you all closer and bring you sense of great relief:) You must have wise and caring parents:cheers:
 
Shelter

Shelter

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Otage said:
You must have wise and caring parents:cheers:
Click to expand...

That and really THAT is the quintessence of all posts here. Be proud to have such loving parents. What shall happen to you?
 
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