Tongue In Cheeks

In the past, I've had some great responses to my questions. I appreciate those who take the time to share their thoughts and opinions. This time my question concerns a sexual practice I will assume we are all familiar with...rimming (not sure what the scientific term is). Is this sexual act considered "safe"? I have a great doctor, but he's straight, and I can't bring myself to ask him about this. I'll also state that this particular act is not one of my favorite things in general. I've had it performed on me and enjoyed it, but I can't seem to "go there" myself. If I knew that it was safe, maybe I'd be more open to it. Can you help? One more thing; yes I see rimming in porn constantly. I strongly believe porn is not a teacher. I do not want to take my cues from paid performers who may or may not have all the answers.

langston said:

This time my question concerns a sexual practice I will assume we are all familiar with...rimming (not sure what the scientific term is)

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Anilingus is the term.

Is this sexual act considered "safe"?".

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Safe" would be an opinion that would differ, depending on which medical professional you spoke with. The human body harbours various nasty things, most of which are disposed of without harm to us via our fecal and urinary excretions. Some people feel that no matter how much a man cleanses and scrubs his anal sphincter and douches his rectum, there will always be traces of bacterial and viral material. This is essentially true.

However, there is a school of thought that two healthy adults with normal immune systems should be able to deal with most incoming nasties. Again, this is borne out by the fact that so many people consume horrendous stuff unknowlingly, but never fall victim to disease. The pivotal point is a normal, healthy immune system. If one or both of the guys indulging in rimming are compromised - even by alcohol or prescribed medication intake, they could be setting the stage for a serious issue. To be considered as well, is oral health. Cuts, scrapes, mouth sores, body piercings anywhere on the lips, face or tongue can be an open avenue for organisms to enter the bloodstream. Even eating a mouthful of potato chips prior to rimming or oral sex (fellatio) can produce microscopic tears in the mucous lining of the mouth that are more than enough to provide an inroad for disease.


This one is definitely a YMMV thing. I have known of guys who use a rubber dental dam (very thin membrane of surgical silicone rubber) as a barrier between their tongue and their partner's ass. This is much like a condom with obvious benefits and drawbacks. Certainly, something to think on and perhaps discuss with the partner involved.:thinking:

Given the choice I'd rather eat butt than suck cock. Been into it since I was a teen, never had any trouble. I'm not big on getting it done to me though, but its SOP when I'm working over a bottom man.

hawtsean said:

...Certainly, something to think on and perhaps discuss with the partner involved.:thinking:

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"Sit down, dear. How was your day? I want to talk about analingus."
:rofl:

OK, kidding aside I think all of hawtsean's points are good.

langston said:

... Is this sexual act considered "safe"?...

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"Is ______ safe?" is always an easy question to answer, because the answer is always "No".

• Is nuclear power safe?
• Is Facebook safe?
• Is driving a car safe?
• Is walking on the sidewalk safe?
• Is falling in love safe?

Something can always go wrong, so nothing comes with a guarantee that it is completely safe. This question always needs to be turned around and split into these questions:

• What are bad things that could happen?
• On a scale of 1 - 10, how bad are these things? (1 being just inconvenient, and 10 being that I would be dead.)
• How likely is it that theses things might happen?
• Are there things I can easily do to prevent these things from happening?

Then you take this information and weigh it against the benefits of what you are thinking of doing, as well as the risks associated with the alternatives (or not doing anything at all).

So, what are the risks? Every gay man should become familiar with these because they are the same for all anal sex.

• Shigellosis , Campylobacter - Two bacteria that can cause fever and dysentery. It is like getting food poisoning and stomach flu at the same time, but it can last for a week or more. There is no treatment other than rest and drinking extra fluids.
• Blastocystis - intestinal single-celled parasite with similar symptoms as above, plus anal itching. It lasts from several weeks to several years. Fortunately younger healthy individuals can often resist it, but people who are older or have weak immune systems can be vulnerable.
• Amebiasis - Another single-celled parasite with symptoms can range from mild diarrhea to full dysentery. But there may not be any symptoms and the person remains a carrier for years. If the parasite gets into the blood stream it can seriously attack the liver. 70,000 people die every year from this infection.
• Cryptosporidium - This single-celled organism produces symptoms similar to food poisoning and only lasts for a day or two. It is most often acquired by drinking contaminated water than oral-anal contact.
• Giardia - Giardiasis differs from most other infections here in that the person doesn't get sick until two or three weeks after exposure. There are drugs that can treat the disease; without treatment it lasts for two to six weeks, and then most people are fine.

These are the most common, though anal warts and herpes can also be transmitted this way.

So how likely is it that you would experience any of these nastys? Well, let's start with this: if you are not doing anything at all to reduce risk it is likely that you will encounter some of these more than once in your life if you are regularly fucking. Tops are more at risk than bottoms. Rimming increases the risk - but not by that much more than topping. (This actually says more about the risks associated with topping, than the safety of rimming.) Having multiple partners is riskier than being monogamous.

What's the worst that can happen? If you are generally healthy, then the only one of these with a fatal impact is amebiasis - and that assumes that you do not see a doctor, allowing the parasite to spread over a long period of time. The others make you feel very sick, and you will spend from a couple of days to several weeks on the toilet.

Is there a way to rim and make it unlikely that I will get sick? Yes! Hawtsean has already mentioned them:

• Barriers - Using a dental dam or plastic wrap makes it unlikely that you will come into contact with intestinal parasites.
• Washing - Studies show that bathing with soap and warm water before and after sex is almost as effective as using a barrier, i.e. it is unlikely that you will be infected.
• General Health - Stay healthy and don't age. (Ha!) If your immune system is weak, then most of the consequences are worse and it is more likely that you will be infected.

Most people are surprised how effective just washing is. Others are surprised that everyone doesn't already do this. Showers can be sexy - make them part of your romantic evening.

Remember, fucking also exposes you to these critters - particularly if you are a top. Your dick is much more likely to find these animals if they are present; then all you have to do is touch your cock and your hands are infected. Which also means that the biggest risk is for the bareback bottom that sucks his partner's cock after it's been in his ass. Using a condom makes fucking less risky - but don't forget someone has to take the condom off, and that once again exposes the hands to parasites.

Bottom line:

• Rimming is much more risky (for intestinal parasites) than bottoming; and somewhat more risky than topping with a condom; a just bit more risky than fucking bare.
• If you get a parasite you will probably be miserable for a week or more.
• You can greatly reduce your risk of infection washing before and after sex. Using a barrier is another option. (Or do both!) At the very least always wash your hands as soon as possible after any anal sex play.)

So, there is some more information. Hopefully this gives you some more tools to decide what you want to do.

Simply stated, I can not thank you guys enough for answering my question so thoroughly. Hawtsean and topdog, I am so grateful for the both of you. I know that I'm spreading it a little thick, but I needed answers, and you came through like super heroes. Thank you for saving the day. One more thing: The intelligence you both have shown is really SEXY.