A Cute Guys Dilemma..

[langston]

I'm saying this right up front, some of you won't get this post. That's ok. I'm going to say this anyway: the next time you're in a bar, talk to a cute guy. I can already hear it. Some of you are saying, "who else would I talk to? guys I'm not attracted to?" Just hear me out. I've heard it said that the cutest guys go home alone. Why? Because people are intimidated or afraid to approach them. I get that we often size each other up, and try to figure out our chances of successfully making a connection. But frankly, using criteria like, "his body is better than mine or he's cuter than me, so why would he even talk to me", is a bit sophomoric. Why? Because you've talked yourself out of making any effort at all! So what's left. The cute HAS to approach you first, so you feel ease. Ok , I agree that there's a gorgeous asshole or two at every watering hole. But usually you can sense this pretty quickly, so move on, and be grateful you didn't have to suffer another idiot for any great length of time. Listen as far as my own appearance, Bel Ami will not be signing me to a contract anytime soon. But I know I am not unattractive. I'm confident enough to say that. I'd also like someone to approach me once in awhile, but me a drink, or even smile when I walk by. Guys we all primarily want the same things, and perhaps we all fear the same things. Above all else, we're all human, pissing and shitting the same way. Rejection is never easy, but assuming is also tragic. let me know what you think.

 

[jw4833]

I can relate to your story. I myself has been a victim of assumption by guys in the club who assume by your physical appearance that you have to be an arrogant asshole without even knowing anything about you. Because I am a quiet guy unless I get to know you, I have been called all kinds of names. Eventually, when certain guys take a chance to get to know me, the first thing that comes out of their mouths are; "I had no idea that you were so cool, I really thought you were a cute Asshole". I also remembered being called a gay basher because of my stand off, quiet demeanor and the way I dress. One of my bfs who is extremely attractive and a all American athlete who was considered of being a ladies man. To my surprise, I had no idea that this guy was a closeted gay man who had a huge crush on me. However, like you said in your post, I've been told that I am a pretty nice looking guy, I just never really considered myself to be because I come from an extremely good looking family, but because this guy was so hot and he did not give any speculation of being gay, and secondly, I did not think I was his type or he would consider me as being hot. What I also found out from that relationship is that this guy had more insecurities than I could imagined and that was because I had drew assumptions on him just by his physical appearance. But, I also been with a guy who thought he was so hot that when we would have sex, the bedroom had mirrors all over the ceiling and in front of the actual bed so that he could look at himself at all times because he loved his facial expressions when having sex, and to look at his body movements as well. Eventually, his conceitedness made him look ugly to me. Therefore, there's the pros and cons which I realize is just part of the chase. You just have to know that there are decent guys out there and they will cross your path sooner or later.

 

[Tjerk12]

Good analysis Langston. I think that you're right.