Hey Guys:
I hope all is well with you all and that the weekend was a good one as well...I am compelled to share something that happened with me over the past couple of weeks with a guy whom later revealed or claimed that he is in denial about his sexuality, (His name is Chris) he is in his middle 30's and he's afraid to date or come out of the closet because he does not want to lose his friends or family due to his sexual choices. The reason I used the word "claimed" is because he had mentioned to me that he has never been sexually intimate with another guy although he has frequent gay clubs in his hometown on many occasions and stood in a dark corner with a cocktail and observe. Let me point out that I've shared some of this story with my GH buddy, "Big Sal" but I decided a few moments ago to go into further detail with you guys to obtain some feedback on the subject matter.
First of all, let me back up the story in order to share with you where I've became acquainted with this guy. I am a member of one of the social media sites and because I have not been a consistent visitor, I received an e-mail requesting that I pay the site a visit in order not to have my account deleted. Nonetheless, this guy had contacted me while I was there and asked me if I could take a moment to chat with him. Due to the fact that it was 2:30 a.m. and I was not able to sleep, I decided to do so.
He started his conversation by informing me that he is having difficulty embracing as well as accepting being a gay man. Due to the strong morals and traditions of his immediate family members who are totally against homosexuality, he covers himself by dating women and being in the company of tough, macho straight men. He went on to say that in recent months, he has come to accept the fact that he is a gay man because lately when he is in the company of women, he does not feel comfortable and he has even gone through the formality of having sex with some of them and yet in order to get through it, he thinks of men that he's either seen in videos or in the clubs that he has attended. Afterwards, he explained to me that he feels sick to his stomach for pretending to be something that he's not.
Now that he has shared his story, he wanted to hear my perspective on this. I gave him a brief summary of some of the dealings that I've endured with "straight men" who enjoyed my company but wanted me to be "down low" or either got mad at me because they did not expect to enjoy what we did so much because it brought out feelings that they were trying to deny to themselves. He asked me to go into detail with this in which I shared two scenarios; one from a gay man and one from a "straight" guy.
The gay guy I became acquainted with when I worked as a bartender in a gay club. This guy (Dustin) was very hot but his attitude and the personality that he displayed in my company over ride his beautiful exterior and made him look very ugly to me. You see, he was against interracial relationships and because I'm from a mixed ethnic background, he also felt that I should frequent gay clubs that catered to ethnic guys as opposed to me being welcomed into an Caucasian gay environment. Now, this guy had never told me this in my face but he would mention this to either my co-workers or guys that he saw me talking to whenever I was not in their company and this would create a very intense argument between him and them to say the least. However, this guy's boyfriend (Trevor) was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet and whenever these arguments would erupt, he would apologize to all involved for his boyfriend's actions.
Surprisingly, one hot and humid summer night during the week, Dustin had paid the club a visit because this particular night, I was working with Frank who was the head bartender and one of his best friends. What really bothered Dustin was that Frank made it known that he wanted to have sex with me whenever I worked with him and what really made Dustin skin crawl was when Frank would do shots with some of the customers and then he would get totally naked behind the bar and start to kiss and grind up against me as well trying to grab my crotch throughout the night or after the bar closes. Anyway, this night, Dustin was supposed to meet his partner at the club after he got off work. However, he got very drunk in the midst of waiting and Frank had begged me to escort him out on the patio and give him some coffee to sober him up.
Reluctantly, I did this with an attitude to say the least. However, what I found shocking was that once I got him to sit down and relax, he started kissing me and telling me how handsome he thought I was and how he had went home and masturbated in the shower after watching me dance behind the bar with Frank one night. He described me as being "sex on a stick"..lol.. Things went to another level when we started kissing very passionately and he started moaning really loud. I immediately pushed him off and told him not to do this because I have the up most respect for his partner. He got up from the chair and stared at me. He then gave me a really wicked smile and took off his polo shirt and shorts. There he stood in front of me butt naked with a raging hard on. He then straddled me and put my hands on his ass and he started kissing me again but begging me to take off my clothes and let's f**k!!!.
All of a sudden, a couple of his buddies came out to the patio and saw him kissing me butt naked. Unfortunately, they had assumed that I was taking advantage of Dustin and everything he was doing was my fault. Frank immediately came out to the deck and defended me. They helped Dustin get dressed and took him home. Frank told me that he saw everything and he was sporting a boner because he was anticipating what was going to happen. Trevor eventually came to the club looking for Dustin and Frank told him what happened and of course, Trevor apologized to me but also told me that I should have f**ked him and laughed.
Once I entered the club the next evening for work, Dustin was sitting at the bar. A few minutes later, he asked if he could talk to me. He went on to say that he's sorry if he offended me but he is not going to apologize for what happened because he really enjoyed kissing me and thought I was a great kisser and for him to discover that, he has no regrets or excuses. In my mind, I'm thinking "But, I am the wrong race and now you wanna do me behind your boyfriend's back?" ...You follow me!!!! ..because within the conversation, he blamed his behavior on the AAAAAALCOHOL!!!..but I know that an intoxicated person usually share things or act out in a certain way of truthfulness that they would not do under sober cir
stances...
Now, the straight guy perspective; this is a story that was from the time that I spent with the guy prior to him sexually abusing me. As I had mentioned in previous posts, he and I had established a close relationship before hand and this one time in particular was crazy to me because as the relationship was evolving to a whole new level; he had decided to put some distance between us due to his confusion and denial of not accepting his sexuality. You see, although I had never initiated anything physical with him but flirting, he came at me each time things got physical but he was beginning to have deep feelings for me which was difficult for him because his family also was not accepting of homosexuality.
Therefore, for about a week after being intimate, I did hear a peep out of him. However, late one night, he called me and asked if he could come by and talk. Once he got to my place, he went on to say that he have been doing a lot of thinking and decided in order to stay in good faith with his family, he wanted our relationship to go back to being platonic. I had no problem with this because once I found out that he was in a confusion/denial phase, I made sure that whatever physical that occurred between us was his initiation and guarded my feelings by putting up a wall to protect myself due to his confused state of mind.
Once he saw that I was in agreement, he seemed to be taken by surprise by my reaction. He then begged me to accompany him to breakfast where he was going to meet a group of his male friends. Initially, I declined his offer and continued to beg me because he wanted them to meet me since he talks about me to them all the time. I finally gave in and went to my bedroom to get a light jacket since the temperature had dropped some outside. While in the closet, I heard him call out my name to come to the hallway. When I went to the hallway, there he was standing there with his pants and underwear around his ankle and wanking his cock and ass at me. He started laughing and saying he was just joking and playing around. I did not find this amusing especially after his conversation of being confused and I let him know this.
Once I revealed this information to Chris, he became very interested in me and asked me for my phone number. I immediately declined to give him my personal contact information especially after one three hour conversation and also because I do not know him that well enough. I shared with him that I have a "hidden talent" where I write poetry. I told him that I would write a couple of poems in regard to our conversation. He gave me his e-mail address in order for me to submit them to him. After completing four poems on the topic we've discussed, I submitted them to him and did not hear nothing from him over two weeks.
However, this past weekend, he did contact me to tell me that he was speechless with the poetry and needed time to digest what I wrote because they were all written so well and so close to home that he freaked out a little. Nonetheless, he asked for my phone number again.
Okay, so honestly, from my perspective and I could be wrong but my instincts keep telling me that I know this guy and that he is using a fake profile and name to throw me off. However, from the moment he started sharing his story with me, it was so similar to the guy that sexually abused me especially from the questions that he was asking me on a personal level, I felt that he knew me because these were areas that me and this guy had shared during the time we've spent together.
I am so sorry for being long winded ...but any of you who follow my posts, you know that I am very detail and want you to get full clarification of what I am sharing with you. Please share your feedback on this if you don't mind, I really would appreciate it. And as always, thank you all for taking time to read and respond to my post. Peace, JW :big hug:
I hope all is well with you all and that the weekend was a good one as well...I am compelled to share something that happened with me over the past couple of weeks with a guy whom later revealed or claimed that he is in denial about his sexuality, (His name is Chris) he is in his middle 30's and he's afraid to date or come out of the closet because he does not want to lose his friends or family due to his sexual choices. The reason I used the word "claimed" is because he had mentioned to me that he has never been sexually intimate with another guy although he has frequent gay clubs in his hometown on many occasions and stood in a dark corner with a cocktail and observe. Let me point out that I've shared some of this story with my GH buddy, "Big Sal" but I decided a few moments ago to go into further detail with you guys to obtain some feedback on the subject matter.
First of all, let me back up the story in order to share with you where I've became acquainted with this guy. I am a member of one of the social media sites and because I have not been a consistent visitor, I received an e-mail requesting that I pay the site a visit in order not to have my account deleted. Nonetheless, this guy had contacted me while I was there and asked me if I could take a moment to chat with him. Due to the fact that it was 2:30 a.m. and I was not able to sleep, I decided to do so.
He started his conversation by informing me that he is having difficulty embracing as well as accepting being a gay man. Due to the strong morals and traditions of his immediate family members who are totally against homosexuality, he covers himself by dating women and being in the company of tough, macho straight men. He went on to say that in recent months, he has come to accept the fact that he is a gay man because lately when he is in the company of women, he does not feel comfortable and he has even gone through the formality of having sex with some of them and yet in order to get through it, he thinks of men that he's either seen in videos or in the clubs that he has attended. Afterwards, he explained to me that he feels sick to his stomach for pretending to be something that he's not.
Now that he has shared his story, he wanted to hear my perspective on this. I gave him a brief summary of some of the dealings that I've endured with "straight men" who enjoyed my company but wanted me to be "down low" or either got mad at me because they did not expect to enjoy what we did so much because it brought out feelings that they were trying to deny to themselves. He asked me to go into detail with this in which I shared two scenarios; one from a gay man and one from a "straight" guy.
The gay guy I became acquainted with when I worked as a bartender in a gay club. This guy (Dustin) was very hot but his attitude and the personality that he displayed in my company over ride his beautiful exterior and made him look very ugly to me. You see, he was against interracial relationships and because I'm from a mixed ethnic background, he also felt that I should frequent gay clubs that catered to ethnic guys as opposed to me being welcomed into an Caucasian gay environment. Now, this guy had never told me this in my face but he would mention this to either my co-workers or guys that he saw me talking to whenever I was not in their company and this would create a very intense argument between him and them to say the least. However, this guy's boyfriend (Trevor) was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet and whenever these arguments would erupt, he would apologize to all involved for his boyfriend's actions.
Surprisingly, one hot and humid summer night during the week, Dustin had paid the club a visit because this particular night, I was working with Frank who was the head bartender and one of his best friends. What really bothered Dustin was that Frank made it known that he wanted to have sex with me whenever I worked with him and what really made Dustin skin crawl was when Frank would do shots with some of the customers and then he would get totally naked behind the bar and start to kiss and grind up against me as well trying to grab my crotch throughout the night or after the bar closes. Anyway, this night, Dustin was supposed to meet his partner at the club after he got off work. However, he got very drunk in the midst of waiting and Frank had begged me to escort him out on the patio and give him some coffee to sober him up.
Reluctantly, I did this with an attitude to say the least. However, what I found shocking was that once I got him to sit down and relax, he started kissing me and telling me how handsome he thought I was and how he had went home and masturbated in the shower after watching me dance behind the bar with Frank one night. He described me as being "sex on a stick"..lol.. Things went to another level when we started kissing very passionately and he started moaning really loud. I immediately pushed him off and told him not to do this because I have the up most respect for his partner. He got up from the chair and stared at me. He then gave me a really wicked smile and took off his polo shirt and shorts. There he stood in front of me butt naked with a raging hard on. He then straddled me and put my hands on his ass and he started kissing me again but begging me to take off my clothes and let's f**k!!!.
All of a sudden, a couple of his buddies came out to the patio and saw him kissing me butt naked. Unfortunately, they had assumed that I was taking advantage of Dustin and everything he was doing was my fault. Frank immediately came out to the deck and defended me. They helped Dustin get dressed and took him home. Frank told me that he saw everything and he was sporting a boner because he was anticipating what was going to happen. Trevor eventually came to the club looking for Dustin and Frank told him what happened and of course, Trevor apologized to me but also told me that I should have f**ked him and laughed.
Once I entered the club the next evening for work, Dustin was sitting at the bar. A few minutes later, he asked if he could talk to me. He went on to say that he's sorry if he offended me but he is not going to apologize for what happened because he really enjoyed kissing me and thought I was a great kisser and for him to discover that, he has no regrets or excuses. In my mind, I'm thinking "But, I am the wrong race and now you wanna do me behind your boyfriend's back?" ...You follow me!!!! ..because within the conversation, he blamed his behavior on the AAAAAALCOHOL!!!..but I know that an intoxicated person usually share things or act out in a certain way of truthfulness that they would not do under sober cir
stances...Now, the straight guy perspective; this is a story that was from the time that I spent with the guy prior to him sexually abusing me. As I had mentioned in previous posts, he and I had established a close relationship before hand and this one time in particular was crazy to me because as the relationship was evolving to a whole new level; he had decided to put some distance between us due to his confusion and denial of not accepting his sexuality. You see, although I had never initiated anything physical with him but flirting, he came at me each time things got physical but he was beginning to have deep feelings for me which was difficult for him because his family also was not accepting of homosexuality.
Therefore, for about a week after being intimate, I did hear a peep out of him. However, late one night, he called me and asked if he could come by and talk. Once he got to my place, he went on to say that he have been doing a lot of thinking and decided in order to stay in good faith with his family, he wanted our relationship to go back to being platonic. I had no problem with this because once I found out that he was in a confusion/denial phase, I made sure that whatever physical that occurred between us was his initiation and guarded my feelings by putting up a wall to protect myself due to his confused state of mind.
Once he saw that I was in agreement, he seemed to be taken by surprise by my reaction. He then begged me to accompany him to breakfast where he was going to meet a group of his male friends. Initially, I declined his offer and continued to beg me because he wanted them to meet me since he talks about me to them all the time. I finally gave in and went to my bedroom to get a light jacket since the temperature had dropped some outside. While in the closet, I heard him call out my name to come to the hallway. When I went to the hallway, there he was standing there with his pants and underwear around his ankle and wanking his cock and ass at me. He started laughing and saying he was just joking and playing around. I did not find this amusing especially after his conversation of being confused and I let him know this.
Once I revealed this information to Chris, he became very interested in me and asked me for my phone number. I immediately declined to give him my personal contact information especially after one three hour conversation and also because I do not know him that well enough. I shared with him that I have a "hidden talent" where I write poetry. I told him that I would write a couple of poems in regard to our conversation. He gave me his e-mail address in order for me to submit them to him. After completing four poems on the topic we've discussed, I submitted them to him and did not hear nothing from him over two weeks.
However, this past weekend, he did contact me to tell me that he was speechless with the poetry and needed time to digest what I wrote because they were all written so well and so close to home that he freaked out a little. Nonetheless, he asked for my phone number again.
Okay, so honestly, from my perspective and I could be wrong but my instincts keep telling me that I know this guy and that he is using a fake profile and name to throw me off. However, from the moment he started sharing his story with me, it was so similar to the guy that sexually abused me especially from the questions that he was asking me on a personal level, I felt that he knew me because these were areas that me and this guy had shared during the time we've spent together.
I am so sorry for being long winded ...but any of you who follow my posts, you know that I am very detail and want you to get full clarification of what I am sharing with you. Please share your feedback on this if you don't mind, I really would appreciate it. And as always, thank you all for taking time to read and respond to my post. Peace, JW :big hug:
Last edited:
