Are we old-fashioned?

[Shelter]

Hello guys this will be a question we have had just last sunday while we have been to a birthday-party of a good friend of us.
Well most of the guests there are gay and so it came to a disputation about friendship, love, long-time relationship and hopping from one guy to another one.
My BF and I we are the "old-fashioned" ones in this circle. We have this "long-time relationship". All the others are singles with changing lovers. There is only one other couple there and they are now together for four years.

All our "single" friends are believing that our sex-life must be boring. Both of us we can't say that - and what is boring? I think it depends on yourself if your sex-life will be boring one day. But as I said, our friends won't understand us and teasing us as an "old married couple".

In this special case I'm very happy that my BF is on my side. We only can say that we are happy together and I mean really happy. Surely we are not every day happy together, there will be too quarrels and sometimes slamming a door. Our longest "silence" lasted three days. Than I couldn't endure it longer and I was going to him into his room. And when I opened his door he came up from his chair and we embraced us without words but with many tears (from my side) :blushing: .

So let me ask you: are we boring in our relationship? Or better is a long-time relationship old-fashioned and/or boring. Be honest - I'll be interested in your opinion. Thank you!

 

[warp9]

We can't answer this, can we ? Only you could know, if it's boring or not. And why should a long-time relationship be boring ? I think, most of us are looking for this. Your "Single-friends" are maybe jealous in an absolutely understandable manner. (Well, let's say, if they're over 30 - the younger ones probably not) Be happy about it !

 

[gb2000ie]

When you're together for a long time, you get to know each other better and better, so sex gets better and better. You can't short-cut that kind of coming together - it takes time!

In our instant-gratification society it's sometimes hard to explain that some rewards come with time, and are totally worth the wait!

B.

 

[haiducii]

Shelter, if you're happy in your relationship, that's all that counts.

How others see you, is not important…

 

[name_1]

Boring seems to have a negative connotation. I am thinking about the word 'routine'. Something is routine might be a boring thing as well, not every routine item is boring.

So I think your relationship is not boring; it might be routine, but it is not a negative thing to be routine, nor is it a bad routine. :big hug:

There was another question though, in your subject/thread title: "Are we old fashioned?"
I think the generalised term of what is 'in fashion' is vague at best. As you (@Shelter) mentioned, 'old fashioned' seem to mean staying with one person for many years (maybe for life).
So the answer to that second question is: yes, I think you are old fashioned. I want to be old fashioned too. As @warp9 said, I think most people want to be old fashioned. p


On a separate note, being trendy is so taxing. Gosh.:worried:

 

[platinumblk2]

Well I can't speak for everyone on here, but if having someone that loves you, cares about you, wants to be with you, shares his thoughts and feelings with you, accepts you for who you are and loves you unconditionally is being old-fashioned...then I would love to be considered old fashioned too!...Sure, I am sure the sex may be routine at times but I am sure at other times, its like fireworks!!...doesn't have to be a bad thing.

For me the single life is not all it is cracked up to be. Most of the fun is in the chase and the sex is not all wonderful, as I would not do half the things I would do in a relationship with someone I hardly know! Thats just me.

Shelter you sound like you have a loving, caring, honest and Wonderful relationship. Enjoy it and treasure it!... I would trade the single life in a heartbeat for a real one to one relationship such as yours.

 

[Shelter]

Well I can't speak for everyone on here, but if having someone that loves you, cares about you, wants to be with you, shares his thoughts and feelings with you, accepts you for who you are and loves you unconditionally is being old-fashioned...then I would love to be considered old fashioned too!...Sure, I am sure the sex may be routine at times but I am sure at other times, its like fireworks!!...doesn't have to be a bad thing.

For me the single life is not all it is cracked up to be. Most of the fun is in the chase and the sex is not all wonderful, as I would not do half the things I would do in a relationship with someone I hardly know! Thats just me.

Shelter you sound like you have a loving, caring, honest and Wonderful relationship. Enjoy it and treasure it!... I would trade the single life in a heartbeat for a real one to one relationship such as yours.

Wow my friend - this has been the best I've ever read. I'll print it and I'll show it the next time to my friends.
You have written so nice words and your last passage ...... well, I'll be honest ---- I've cried. You have revealed to me how lucky I am with my BF. Thank you for this emotional post. p

 

[anarren]

Like everyone else said: if you're bored, you're boring. And if your friends need you to have drama to like you, tell them to piss off.

 

[BearGut4Yngr]

I don't think what u have is boring

 

[Stonecold]

I think platinumblk2 and gb2000ie said it best also. I will ad to that from my own experience from being in a long term old fashioned relationship. Some of our friends of several decades have led the fun single life with thrilling adventures with so many hot men but now in the autumn of their life they regret they didn't settle down into a long term relationship, being a senior and being alone is a very sad thing to see others go through.

 

[jw4833]

Honestly...this is a question that only you and your partner can answer...but what I can say in regard to your story is that you have to understand that within the gay life...you will find guys who are "haters" of those who have long term relationship. Now mind you... I am not saying that the majority of the gay population is this way...but unfortunately...there are guys within the gay circle that are. Believe me...I know this from first hand experience. However...I take their negative comments and make it a positive. For instance, for someone to speculate what the intimate side of my long term relationship entails just says to me that these guys deeply wish that they had what I have and therefore....those comments just validate for me that I am in a good place with my relationship that you would take time out of your life to view, speculate or criticize what goes on in mine. Anyone who feels that they are in a good place in their lives would not really take the time to boldly make such comments about your situation to your face. To conclude...as long as you two are happy with the status of your relationship and for you two to still be together ....for me...this speaks in volumes as oppose to some "haters" comments. As my sister always says...tell them to "Have several seats and mind your business!!!!!"...haha

 

[Otage]

Everybody wants, what everybody has, and everybody has, what everybody wants. Some miss being single when they are happily in relationship, even though back being single all they wanted was trustfull relationship.

Being happy in relationship is knowing what you want, and with who you wanna have it. It's taking responsibility about your decisions, and seeing the larger picture, not flying sillily to every pretty flower, cause you know what you want.

 

[Shelter]

Everybody wants, what everybody has, and everybody has, what everybody wants. Some miss being single when they are happily in relationship, even though back being single all they wanted was trustfull relationship.

Being happy in relationship is knowing what you want, and with who you wanna have it. It's taking responsibility about your decisions, and seeing the larger picture, not flying sillily to every pretty flower, cause you know what you want.

Thank you sooooo much Otage for this wonderful said post. You are totally right with your thoughts. :thumbs up::thumbs up::thumbs up