I think you wanna break free from your closet. I never felt as frustrated with my sexuality as when I was in closet. At some times I thought it didn't matter, that I didn't need to focus on it at all, and some points the whole thought would make me depressed.
But truly when I came out - it finally became what it was - just an sexual orientation. It stopped defining me, causing me anxiety, the burden of secret was lifted and I could finally focus on being me instead of the fact, that "How would people react if they would know? How can I ever find someone if I hide? Why did this happen to me? Why can't I be like others?" etc. I became more me, more happier, cause I didn't have to slow me down, thinking that do I seem gay if I wear that or if I show interest in this etc.
And in the end, it didn't change me at all. Just made me happier. And it didn't change my friends behaviour towards me, just made me more honest and more me towards them.
And there's always someone you tell first. And seems like your mother is an easy case
My parents are very anti-gay and have always been, but your mom seems like a wise and caring woman. And ofc telling is always hard. You may fail few times before getting it out there, but in the end, that's what you wanna do. And unless you do it, you will just thinking about doing it, hating yourself for not allready having done it. What the out come will be? Hard to say 100% sure, but with your mom it seems it will be quite positive and you will become more closer
And to talk about sex with mom? I would never... X_X
