Curious thinking

[jw4833]

Hey Guys:

I hope all is well with you and that your New Year is off to a great start.

Today, I received a message from someone whom I had not heard from in a couple of years. He wanted to pursue a relationship and because we both state in different states, I was not a fan of long-distance relationship and prefer to be keep things as platonic friends. Unfortunately, he wanted more from me and moved on with his life. Well, he contacted me to see how I was doing and to inform me that he has a boyfriend now and everything is going well between them. My curiosity was running rampant because I was trying to figure out what is really the true motive of him contacting me?

I do not see anything wrong with him contacting me just to say "hello" and to see how things are with me...but to mentioned that he has a boyfriend the way he did made me really curious because if it were me, I would not bring that up unless he asked me which I did not questioned him about his love life. Since the first contact, I've received several more messages from him thus far. So, what do you guys think about this?

Thanks as always for those whom had taken time to read and respond to my post.:cheers:

 

[reasek1]

Sounds to me like he mentioned it as a way of establishing that he was just calling as a platonic friend.:thinking:

 

[topdog]

Sounds to me like he mentioned it as a way of establishing that he was just calling as a platonic friend.:thinking:

I agree. It may have been difficult to stay in contact while he was dealing with romantic feelings for you. But now that he is more settled, he feels comfortable picking up the friendship.

Or, he's looking for a three-way.

(Probably not.)

 

[jw4833]

I agree. It may have been difficult to stay in contact while he was dealing with romantic feelings for you. But now that he is more settled, he feels comfortable picking up the friendship.

Or, he's looking for a three-way.

(Probably not.)

Well, he just contacted me over an hour ago and he had mentioned how he remembers how great I look and how hot my body was...but like you all said...its a possibility that all is platonic...

 

[MaximumT]

Or maybe he's trying to make you jealous? :thinking:

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Or maybe he's trying to make you jealous? :thinking:

And that sounds more like it . And why would I select jealousy over platonic... because I am a fucking human being and I know how human feelings works at a personal level and professional level. In my first year with Alex I was using his cuteness to make my previous boyfriends jealous and Alex was doing the very same on his side. When someone has been emotionally hurt they often are seeking revenge (and those goodie two shoes who are saying that they are not like that, just dig a little further in your pass behavior). So there's two possibilities from JW story... the threesome offer will come up soon or a meeting will be requested and something will happen.:cheers:

JW you are right to be suspicious... be firm on your toes and do not turn around the pot trying to understand why he mentioned his boyfriend and praise you with compliment... it could be just a ruse to see how's your feeling toward him... I had a few of those "I have a new bf" when in fact they were just good friends with benefits.

 

[pinklee1]

ask to see a picture of the new guy. and stay naturally curious as you move down the line.

 

[bigsal]

Ciao JW.
Although it is very difficult to understand what goes on in people's thoughts, I think the interventions that have gone before me, have hit the mark.
There is no doubt that "someone" still has interest in you, even if it claims to have a boyfriend.
However, given what has happened to you in the past, maybe just want to know if you're okay. The answer can only give just him.

 

[jw4833]

And that sounds more like it . And why would I select jealousy over platonic... because I am a fucking human being and I know how human feelings works at a personal level and professional level. In my first year with Alex I was using his cuteness to make my previous boyfriends jealous and Alex was doing the very same on his side. When someone has been emotionally hurt they often are seeking revenge (and those goodie two shoes who are saying that they are not like that, just dig a little further in your pass behavior). So there's two possibilities from JW story... the threesome offer will come up soon or a meeting will be requested and something will happen.:cheers:

JW you are right to be suspicious... be firm on your toes and do not turn around the pot trying to understand why he mentioned his boyfriend and praise you with compliment... it could be just a ruse to see how's your feeling toward him... I had a few of those "I have a new bf" when in fact they were just good friends with benefits.

Thanks Jake:

One thing about me, I RARELY get jealous especially over something like this and to boot when nothing really developed in depth between us. Therefore, if that's the case, he's wasting his time...:rofl:

 

[hugmebear]

Hey Guys:

I hope all is well with you and that your New Year is off to a great start.

Today, I received a message from someone whom I had not heard from in a couple of years. He wanted to pursue a relationship and because we both state in different states, I was not a fan of long-distance relationship and prefer to be keep things as platonic friends. Unfortunately, he wanted more from me and moved on with his life. Well, he contacted me to see how I was doing and to inform me that he has a boyfriend now and everything is going well between them. My curiosity was running rampant because I was trying to figure out what is really the true motive of him contacting me?

I do not see anything wrong with him contacting me just to say "hello" and to see how things are with me...but to mentioned that he has a boyfriend the way he did made me really curious because if it were me, I would not bring that up unless he asked me which I did not questioned him about his love life. Since the first contact, I've received several more messages from him thus far. So, what do you guys think about this?

Thanks as always for those whom had taken time to read and respond to my post.:cheers:

It appears to me that telling you about the new bf is a big FU for rejecting him. However, contacting you repeatedly demonstrates his discontent with his new guy; thus, he may be trying to make you jealous so you'd fight to get him back. It's win/win for him because it's a FU for you, you might come crawling back, or your presence could inspire jealousy in the new guy.

Btw, the new bf may not exist. He may be fishing for responses.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

It appears to me that telling you about the new bf is a big FU for rejecting him. However, contacting you repeatedly demonstrates his discontent with his new guy; thus, he may be trying to make you jealous so you'd fight to get him back. It's win/win for him because it's a FU for you, you might come crawling back, or your presence could inspire jealousy in the new guy.

Btw, the new bf may not exist. He may be fishing for responses.

Totally agree... see if the dude call him back and right off the bat mentioned that he has a new boyfriend and is happy, this sound phishing for status update on the other dude. Than the other dude may come up saying the same "hey good for you, I also have a new boyfriend". I had an ex-boyfriend who did the very same, we were incompatible for the very same reason than JW (distance) and I am not either a fan of distance relationship; I like to breath the same air than my boyfriend, touch him and feel him, jerking off camera may works for a while, but comes the day that you want that dick in your hands, not his. So we took separate way, obviously this hurt the dude a lot and 2 years later while I was starting my relationship with Alex I receive a long email about him telling how much happy he was with his new boyfriend. And it was indeed the first paragraph in the letter. So I just responded that I was happy for him that things worked out and that he was happy with his new dude. I did not mentioned my boyfriend... I just took it as a simple "hey I'm back" kind of email.

Well as you guess he kept on emailing and now he was telling me more details about his boyfriend, even sent a picture (not with him though) of his so-called boyfriend and sure the dude was super hot. And yet I replied monotonically that he was lucky to have such a cutie as a boyfriend and yet I was happy for him.

At the third email that's where I started understanding what game was taking place, on each email he would give further detail about his boyfriend, and obviously his boyfriend was doing things better than I did in some areas etc. So Alex and I took a quick picture of both of us kissing and I sent him the picture saying I'm happy for you're new boyfriend... well I also happen to have a new one too... his name is Alex a magnificently good looking Aussie surfer dude... see our picture below. Than you guess it the email stopped coming.

Two weeks later after the last email I was visiting his town and bumped into him and yes Alex was with me, but he was all alone. Than not to be a asshole I asked where is his BF and since I'm in town we should all have lunch together, but somehow in less than 2 weeks after those emails the beautiful story I was reading in his emails was already ended. He already broke up with his love of his life. I knew right then that it wasn't all true. His so-called boyfriend was in fact an occasional fuck buddy... he confirmed later on because I did confront him.

So yes sometimes people can't just get over someone, they're hurt and it is human nature to keep on hurting oneself. At the end Alex and I invited him home, had our three ways and I've presented him to Alex's cousin Tommy who is almost a photocopy of my Alex and they bounded very well. I do not hold grudge... I understand sufferance and mostly emotional sufferance. He now have a new boyfriend but when he email me it isn't to talk about his dude (at least not completely). We became real friend at last.

 

[jw4833]

Totally agree... see if the dude call him back and right off the bat mentioned that he has a new boyfriend and is happy, this sound phishing for status update on the other dude. Than the other dude may come up saying the same "hey good for you, I also have a new boyfriend". I had an ex-boyfriend who did the very same, we were incompatible for the very same reason than JW (distance) and I am not either a fan of distance relationship; I like to breath the same air than my boyfriend, touch him and feel him, jerking off camera may works for a while, but comes the day that you want that dick in your hands, not his. So we took separate way, obviously this hurt the dude a lot and 2 years later while I was starting my relationship with Alex I receive a long email about him telling how much happy he was with his new boyfriend. And it was indeed the first paragraph in the letter. So I just responded that I was happy for him that things worked out and that he was happy with his new dude. I did not mentioned my boyfriend... I just took it as a simple "hey I'm back" kind of email.

Well as you guess he kept on emailing and now he was telling me more details about his boyfriend, even sent a picture (not with him though) of his so-called boyfriend and sure the dude was super hot. And yet I replied monotonically that he was lucky to have such a cutie as a boyfriend and yet I was happy for him.

At the third email that's where I started understanding what game was taking place, on each email he would give further detail about his boyfriend, and obviously his boyfriend was doing things better than I did in some areas etc. So Alex and I took a quick picture of both of us kissing and I sent him the picture saying I'm happy for you're new boyfriend... well I also happen to have a new one too... his name is Alex a magnificently good looking Aussie surfer dude... see our picture below. Than you guess it the email stopped coming.

Two weeks later after the last email I was visiting his town and bumped into him and yes Alex was with me, but he was all alone. Than not to be a asshole I asked where is his BF and since I'm in town we should all have lunch together, but somehow in less than 2 weeks after those emails the beautiful story I was reading in his emails was already ended. He already broke up with his love of his life. I knew right then that it wasn't all true. His so-called boyfriend was in fact an occasional fuck buddy... he confirmed later on because I did confront him.

So yes sometimes people can't just get over someone, they're hurt and it is human nature to keep on hurting oneself. At the end Alex and I invited him home, had our three ways and I've presented him to Alex's cousin Tommy who is almost a photocopy of my Alex and they bounded very well. I do not hold grudge... I understand sufferance and mostly emotional sufferance. He now have a new boyfriend but when he email me it isn't to talk about his dude (at least not completely). We became real friend at last.

LOL..Jake!!!...you are something ELSE!!!..I have to tell you that yesterday afternoon, he contacted me again and this time, he mentioned me having a three-way with him and his bf. He also stated that after considering to present this to his bf and myself, he came to the conclusion that it would not work well for his relationship because he would put all of his focus on me due to the fact that he feels that due to our past history, it would be like "I OWE HIM A FUCK". Therefore, with me being present would be the end of his relationship. I told him that I had been a three-way relationship for over two years with another couple and this actually did happen and although this couple have had threesome throughout their relationship, but for some reason, the bf's partner became extremely uncomfortable and jealous when we all would have sex together. However, because of his partner's attraction towards me, it became the only way for him to have sexual contact with him. Eventually, they did break up because his partner confessed to us both that he was falling in love with me and he likes the way I make him feel as opposed to his bf. Nonetheless, with this guy, I would not had consider doing this because for some reason, I find it hard to believe that he has a bf and if he does, it could be a possibility that they are going through some troubled waters within the relationship at this time...Thanks again, Jake..:cheers: