Dating Advice Crucially Needed

[TifaLover]

Hey guys, how's it going?
Happy Valentine's day, I hope you'll have a good one!

So as the title says, I'm in dire need for dating advice..

- Background:
I'm a 24 year old, way deep in the closet, and I've been in love with my straight high school best friend even since I was 13 and I don't think I've completely gotten over it, even though I have seen him 2 or 3 times over the past 7 years, and there's absolutely no potential there, anyhow, during that time I never really dated anyone and I'm still a virgin.

Two years ago I've created an alternative secret Facebook account that shows my true gay persona and I've been chatting guys up on it all that time, but it was predominantly guys looking for a hookup an never had a decent human conversation with any of them, until...

- Current Situation:
Two weeks ago, this energetic guy added me and he displayed genuine interest in me as a person, and never actually made any sexual comments, and he asked for my IM, and then we started chatting, we have so much in common, I really like him and I believe he is too, he's always complimenting and flirtatious and really puts a smile on my face.

Last Night, I put up a status update jokingly expressing my disappointment for being single on Valentine's day, a few hours later he sent me a message, genuinely asking me out on a date for Valentine's, I got really nervous as I practically still don't know the guy, and I get nervous meeting strangers for one-on-one conversations, so I asked him to chat, and we ended up having a five hour chat session which was practically a crash course about each of us as I had clarified to him that as much as I'd love to go on the date, I was not sure I was yet comfortable to meet on a date.

By the end of the session which both of us has equally enjoyed, he agreed to take things slow as he wouldn't want me to be uncomfortable, and that we'd both so much love to go on a date, and now it's up to me to decide it.

- The Guy:
He turns 18 in March, he's a very sweet, confident, romantic & cute guy, and to me he's kinda the whole package, in the closet, I sense that he genuinely likes me knowing the good and the bad.
He has dated 2 guys before me, one turned into long distance, so they ended it, and the other was only sexual, so he ended it because they couldn't connect on any level.

Now that I've explained the whole situation as briefly as I could, here's the question..
Even though I like him so much, and I'm really thrilled to go out on a date with him, I'm still very nervous about it, it could be stemming from my lack of experience, but as I've mentioned before, I get really nervous just meeting anyone for a one-on-one meeting, let alone a potential partner.
Now I'm really having an internal battle going on, should I wait to get more comfortable, or should I just say yes and go out on my very first date?
And if I agreed, what should I do?
What's the protocol here?
Should I bring him a gift?
Should I take the bill or should we split it?
What should we do on the date?
Where to go?
How to act?

A very important aspect to consider is that we live in a country where homosexuality is a MAJOR taboo, and it's a very bad idea if it looked stood out as a gay couple on a date..

I seriously need your help guys, and again, Happy Valentine's day! :heart:

 

[topdog]

Hey guys, how's it going? Happy Valentine's day, I hope you'll have a good one! So as the title says, I'm in dire need for dating advice..

- Current Situation:
Two weeks ago, this energetic guy added me and he displayed genuine interest in me as a person, and never actually made any sexual comments, and he asked for my IM, and then we started chatting, we have so much in common, I really like him and I believe he is too, he's always complimenting and flirtatious and really puts a smile on my face...

Congratulations! It's always great when someone wants to go out with you. :heart: Now let's get you out there and on your way.

It's usually best to meet publicly first so you can size them up; with friends, in a coffee shop or bar. Are they who they say they are? Are you attracted at all? Are they potential serial killer, or potential husband material?

And you did that already. And he seems as charming in person as he is online.

So, I would say that the next step is the date. If you are going to ask him, think of an activity you would both enjoy. Add in a meal at someplace quiet enough to talk. On the other hand, if he asks you he probably has something in mind. In that case maybe you can do his activity and then go to your choice of restaurant.

Should you bring a gift? No, not required unless you have a real talent for finding the perfect little somehting that says "I heard every word you said last night about your hobbies and here is he one piece that will compliment your vast collection."

Who pays for what is complicated, so the best move is to uncomplicated it as soon as possible. The general rule is that whoever asks should pay. This is a holdover from traditional straight dating where it was always the man doing the asking, which meant that he did the paying as well. But it's not 1964, and people don't always make those previous assumptions. Which means that when you ask him out, the payment plan will still be up in the air.

So, tie it down. After you ask, tell him if you plan to pay, or you want to split the check. If he asks you out and doesn't mention payment, speak up and affirm that the date should work out well because paying half of the tab will work right within you budget. (That way there is also nothing stopping him from correcting you and insisting on foot the whole bill, if that was his plan.)

As for how to act and where to go - you want to act like you. Somewhere in the evening there has to be a nice long stretch where you are in your best environment. It's fine to try out some of his interests, whether it's going to the opera or in town to see Justin Beiber. But somewhere in the evening you need a comfy "home base", where he has to navigate your turf.

Finally, sex. Think about what you want sexually in this relationship. If he makes a move on the first date, would that be cool? However you feel, think through the possibilities in advance and plan how you will deal with them Don't get pressured into doing something you don't want to do just because it's too awkward to say "No". Knowing what you want and rehearsing in advance is crucial in negotiating safe sex as well.

OK, young lovers. :heart: You gotta bring back a report. (Details! We want details!!)

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

My best advice is coffee. Like afternoon coffee. Hit like a local bakery or cafe.

 

[puckinla]

almost 18 may not be 18 in your country. Be aware of the laws. Then,if there's no risk. coffee. period. then coffee a second time and a third. Then you'll know him , and then......