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Did I Ever Find What I Did as Wrong?

RazzmaTazz

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Well, hey there! Sorry I've been gone away for so long. After the crash of Tumblr I decided to take a little break from it all. I got a lot of movies watched, and a few books read. But I still had the itch to come back. So here I am. Hope you all didn't miss me.

I was talking with a friend of mine about what I should write about, and then he asked a question that I've only gotten a few times in my history: Did I ever think that when I was hustling I was doing something wrong?

I actually had to think about it for a while before just blurting out an answer. But I came up with this answer in the end: No.

Of course, then I had to explain it. I have always thought that sex is just something that comes naturally. Gay, straight, bi, or whatever. Sex is sex. And sex can be one of two things: Love Sex and Fun Sex. For me (I'm 24 years old for those that don't know) I've never yet been interested in the Love Sex. Sure, I've had very intimate encounters, but I've never dated anyone yet. And Fun Sex is just that. It's the hook ups and one night stands; the bath house and book store encounters. So having sex just for the sake of having sex isn't wrong.

But how about the hustling aspect of it? Did I feel guilty about taking money from guys who wanted to pay me to have sex? Again: No. The first time ever that someone gave me cash to give me a blow job I was floored. It wasn't very much, it was only $20 to sit in the passenger side of his car, shorts at my ankles, and his mouth on my dick until I cummed. But hey, I was horny and he offered, so what the Hell. I ended up keeping that twenty dollar bill in one of my favorite books and I'd take it out and look at it when I got horny and my heart would pound just as much as it did when we were crossing the parking lot to his car.

Later on I told one of my friends who was a few years older about it. I remember him saying "Yea, you're super cute. I can see why someone would do that." That's when I started to try to find where some cruising places were that were close to where I lived. I figured if that guy paid to blow me, then there must be others that would too. So after some chats with a couple other guys I knew were gay, and trolling Craigslist (when it was still active back then) to see if there were any "meet me here" ad's, I found where there were a couple places.

The first few times you could say that I was testing the waters. I didn't ask for money, they didn't offer, but I still went home happy. After a few weeks though when guys would ask if they could suck me off, I'd reply "For twenty bucks, yea". Again, I was floored at how many guys didn't even flinch. They just went for their wallet, handed me twenty, or how ever much they had if it was less than that, and then got my dick in their mouth.

It slowly progressed from there. At first it was another $20 if you wanted me to blow you too. I remember one guy asking, before we did anything, how much I wanted to get blown. He was fine with that. When he asked how much more for me to blow him too, he asked if I'd still be here in 10 minutes if he ran to an ATM! I was like, OMG! This guy is actually going to get money so we can trade blow jobs.

Not ONCE did I feel guilty, or that it was wrong to have oral sex with these guys and take their money. I felt that if these guys wanted to pay me, then I wasn't about to turn them down. In just a couple months I'd made about $300. I had a shoe box in the way back of my closet, buried under a bunch of other things so it wouldn't be easily found.

It ended up being later that summer when I had my first full non-park hustle. I'd been emailing a guy from Craigslist for a few days who had put $'s for the S's in ad which the friend I mentioned earlier told me meant the guy was willing to pay. I guess I was a pretty cheap lay at the time because when he asked how much for a full session and I said $150, he was all over it.

From then on I just started to raise the price on first offer to see where guys tended to balk. Then I found a few Escort sites and started to copy how much they were charging. Just instead of "by the hour", I just did a flat rate. I only got turned down a few times. Every time, it amazed me that people would pay for sex. I certainly was a happy camper cause I was getting my sexual fill, and was making bank at the same time.

But again, I never thought of what I was doing as wrong. Sure, the situation had it's taboo's. Call me young, dumb, and full of cum at the time.

In time I was doing three ways, four ways with another guy and his partner, I was doing group parties, and private affairs. I was having fun. It was never wrong in my book.
 

Shelter

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Hey Razz,
again I've read your article with great respect and interest. I told you a while ago that you really are a very good writer - and I'm sure you will have the makings of to write a book. You should try it - that's what I think very serious.

But to your text. You are writing that you have been full of cum "at the time". You are 24 and not 84 and I hope and think you are until today "full of cum" - aren't you?

The only thing which mad me a little bit sad is your statement that you are not ready for a relationship and that you like more hustling like a bee from flower to flower. That my be a lifestyle and you surely will have many, many followers - but again: now you are 24
(by the way I'm 31) and yoluth is something wonderful but as well something what is going so very quick away --- and suddenly you are "old" - "older" - and really "old"! And that will not be the worst thing, but the worst thing will be that you are alone without a good partner with whom you can grow really old. And nothing will be more cruel that to be alone. Your youth, these wonderful, marvellous youth, will have been gone and sure you will be in your "older years" as well full of cum but all the youngsters will ignore you because your once tense and youthfull body shows the signs of age.

So please don't misunderstand me - but please think on your later years ... also as a form of "insurance" and try to find a real loving partner - because I think you would be a very lovable guy.

That's my word over the ocean from Germany to you in the beautiful sunshine state of California.

Love you!
 
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gorgik9

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Hello my dear friend Razz, very welcome back!!!

First of all: Yeah I've missed you, your fine collections of pics and your interesting thoughts - as in the post above! And not only is there a lot of thinking going on in Razz' mind - you know how to express your thoughts in words! You're simply a good writer!

I think my own perspective on sex is pretty much like your; not that I've ever worked as a hustler, but my attitude towards sex is pretty unromantic.
 
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Shelter

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Hello my dear friend Razz, very welcome back!!!

First of all: Yeah I've missed you, your fine collections of pics and your interesting thoughts - as in the post above! And not only is there a lot of thinking going on in Razz' mind - you know how to express your thoughts in words! You're simply a good writer!

I think my own perspective on sex is pretty much like your; not that I've ever worked as a hustler, but my attitude towards sex is pretty unromantic.

but my attitude towards sex is pretty unromantic.[/COLOR

Gorgik now you have shocked me totally. Honestly? Why so bitter? :thinking:
 

gorgik9

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but my attitude towards sex is pretty unromantic.[/COLOR

Gorgik now you have shocked me totally. Honestly? Why so bitter? :thinking:


Bitter??????????

I think I'm the one in shock - I didn't want to express bitterness at all :?:eek::thinking:

Just making a basic summary of my attitudes towards sex & I think the phrase "pretty unromantic" sums it up fairly well: sex is one of the necessities in life, usually great fun and pleasurable (but sometimes it's more fun to read some great work of philosophy - or talking to my best GH friends) and I don't think it necessarily belongs only to romantic relationships.

I refuse to understand why that makes me "bitter" - I don't think so ;)
 

Shelter

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Sorry Gorgik - for me it sounds "bitter", but I beg your very pardon if I have misunderstand you.

But as you know I'm living in a longterm relationship (I don't know if it will be "romantic"), but it is my/our way of life and we are very happy with it. And I know your and/or Razz's doubts against this form, we have many friends which are on the total same line of Razz (or you!) - but I hope you will understand and accept my view of happiness as I will try to understand and accept yours. Peace? -:)
 

gorgik9

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Sorry Gorgik - for me it sounds "bitter", but I beg your very pardon if I have misunderstand you.

But as you know I'm living in a longterm relationship (I don't know if it will be "romantic"), but it is my/our way of life and we are very happy with it. And I know your and/or Razz's doubts against this form, we have many friends which are on the total same line of Razz (or you!) - but I hope you will understand and accept my view of happiness as I will try to understand and accept yours. Peace? -:)

It's very easy to make peace since in my opinion there hasn't been any war, dear Shelter!!! :)

I think it's impossible NOT to know that you have a BF whom you obviously have a very good relation with - and I'm happy for you :big hug:

I'm definitely not into pontificating that EVERYONE should adapt my attitudes towards sex - I'm a Thélèmite follower of Francois Rabelais, living in accordance of a single basic rule: DO WHAT YOU WANT!

In your case doing what you want is obviously living with your BF :cheers:

Hallelujah!
 

dargelos

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Can you, Razz, shed any light on the question of why some men, good looking men with pleasant attitudes, choose to pay cash for sex when they could easily get it without paying. With the charmless gargoyle it's understandable that they might need to pay for what they want but I know that there are perfectly sexy men who choose rent boys even though they don't need to.
If I ever got to the stage of having to pay for it, I'd feel that it was time to give up and spend more time playing sudoku instead.
 

NeverCD

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So prostitutes are the good guys and pimps are the bad guys?

If I was a prostitute I would so have to look like this:

maxresdefault_l.jpg
 

NeverCD

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Can you, Razz, shed any light on the question of why some men, good looking men with pleasant attitudes, choose to pay cash for sex when they could easily get it without paying. With the charmless gargoyle it's understandable that they might need to pay for what they want but I know that there are perfectly sexy men who choose rent boys even though they don't need to.
If I ever got to the stage of having to pay for it, I'd feel that it was time to give up and spend more time playing sudoku instead.

If you end up rich enough, you always pay for it. You can still delude yourself though.:D
 
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