Do You Think Something MADE You Gay/Bi?

[logan222]

So, no one really knows why some kids end up gay/bi while others do not. There is no widely accepted reason or explanation. However, do YOU think that there might have been something about how you grew up or were raised that made you gay?

I personally DO NOT believe that something made me gay. I do think I was born this way, but when I think about coming out, I know what everyone is going to think: it was because he was raised by girls and had no guys (brothers, male cousins his own age, etc.) around when he was younger...OR it's because we let him female artist songs all the time...OR that I didn't like playing with toys that were marketed for boys (I wasn't really into girl toys either, I just like nerdy stuff or things that were aggressively unisex).

Do your loved ones think that SOMETHING made you gay? If so, what?

 

[XMan101]

Who made my eyes blue, who made my hair the color it is ?

It's just part of nature

 

[goejavin]

Hi Logan...I agree with you and Xman that it is part of nature and nothing would have changed my being gay no matter what anyone did. I have two brothers and 3 sisters and we were all raised the same way and I just happen to have the "gay gene." Some might argue in my case that having been molested by my father's best friend at the age of 8 for an extended period of time might have "made" me gay. But I don't buy that because as a child I was rather shy, somewhat introverted, and was very small for my age (all red flags for a pedophile) and for as long as I can remember I felt oddly attracted to my own sex. I can remember wathcing batman and robin and loving how big their bulges looked in those tights!!! So, I have no doubt, in my case, I was gay from day one.

 

[jw4833]

There was a guy who pursued me relentlessly to the degree that whenever he came to my home, I would go to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers out of the fridge, and when I return to the living room, he either had his pants pulled down or completely naked. He knew I was gay, but I sensed from the talks we've had that he was confused and somewhat in denial about his sexuality and therefore, I decline his actions. However, one night, he got naked and started stroking his cock begging me to get naked and join him. Things did occur this nigh..HEY!!! I'm a guy...and since he kept getting naked for me and quite handsome I must say..WHAT THE HELL!!!..Unfortunately, he began to freak out afterwards stating that I was trying to make him GAY..I told him that I cannot make him GAY, and from him pursuing me in the manner that he did, let me know that I was not the first guy that he had encountered with his stupid game playing because I would see things within his mannerism after spending so much time around me.
He even confessed to me that he cannot be a gay man because if his family ever found out, they would totally disown him and he could not live without them. I haven't seen him in years, but now that you've brought this up in your post, I do wonder if he ever accepted his sexuality or is he still playing the denial game.

 

[Urban]

Of course SOMETHING made me gay, it's not just a purely random occurrence. I can tell you whatever it was, it happened long before I reached puberty. I've been gay as far back as I have memories.

I firmly believe it's something that happens either at conception or in embryonic life; based on my own experience I don't think anything that happened after I was born had anything to do with it.

That doesn't mean environment never plays a part in anyone being gay, I'm just certain that I've been gay since birth. It's also true of my partner, & practically every gay person I've ever known agrees.

 

[ringoshini]

Hey, weighing in with an opinion from us in the bi camp, we are NOT in denial of our nature as people who are attracted, sexually or emotionally or both, to the same gender, but we are also able to be attracted to both genders. Just to state my case, have a few friends who believe all bisexuals are simply people who are in denial of being attracted to the same sex.

Anyway I guess in my case it was a very clear cut thing, I was straight. That is until I met this guy who I became quite close friends with and then all of a sudden he was professing all this love and lust. In retrospect, curiosity killed the (bigotted) cat and I'm saddled with attraction and appreciation of both genders.

 

[gb2000ie]

Like everything else about me, I'm sure my gayness is also caused by a combination of nature and nurture.

Contrary to the simplified view many people have of our genes, their effect on us is massively effected by our environment. We really are phenotypes not just genotypes. There might well be a gene that makes us more likely to be gay, but whether or not we are could be heavily dependent on the environment in which we've existed since conception.

For some event in our lives to have made us gay would imply that it's a purely psychological thing, but that doesn't seem likely to me. Being gay is not like post traumatic stress disorder. I know I've been attracted to guys for as far back as I can remember, so either what ever happened to my mind happened very early, or, it's not a psychological thing.

B.

 

[besoin]

Who made my eyes blue, who made my hair the color it is ?

It's just part of nature

genes made those things
whats your point?

 

[lovetosuckcock]

A person is born gay, bi, or hetero. Environment or cirstances do not play a role in one's sexuality. Environment and cirstances can, however, help to bring out one's sexual orientation.

 

[Mike1979]

I was born this way. No one made me like this :thumbs up:

 

[Sinnerr]

My parents when they had fun some night (probably ) in spring 1990. LOL

 

[TheEnd]

sorry to be the devils advocate here ....but I have a few points to make.

1. nurture and "behaviorism" does play a vital role in one's sexuality.

a. lets collect a little statistical data , I can broadly generalize and say that 80% of the people on this forum were brought up in houses that had women in majority, all sisters or many sisters and few brothers.
b. most of you had extremely possessive and doting mothers.

now how did I reach these generalizations , well every human has a subconscious that plays a vital role in his/her character throughout their lives . when you are very young if you are surrounded by women or you have a possessive mother your subconscious registers the female sex as something to be respected and looked up at, as you grow older before even puberty hits sex is considered a "dirty" thing and nothing dirty can be associated to something that you respect and look up to . The foundations of you being gay have been laid after puberty you just build on it. All this happens subconsciously things that you are not in control of, so its OK.

Nevertheless I think genes also play an important role the statistical data on this facet of psychology "sexuality" is limited.. experimentation's in psychology can never give you 100 % results like other disciplines of science due to the deceiving nature of the human mind.

In my honest opinion your sexuality is an amalgamation of nature and nurture , one of the two can make you gay or straight for that matter.

But whats the big fuss!!!Now don't go fighting with the females in your family because that would prove that you yourself think that being gay is bad. its just a preference like any other I like Coke and you like Pepsi, that's it!!!! nothing more nothing less.

 

[Urban]

Hey, weighing in with an opinion from us in the bi camp, we are NOT in denial of our nature as people who are attracted, sexually or emotionally or both, to the same gender, but we are also able to be attracted to both genders. Just to state my case, have a few friends who believe all bisexuals are simply people who are in denial of being attracted to the same sex.

Anyway I guess in my case it was a very clear cut thing, I was straight. That is until I met this guy who I became quite close friends with and then all of a sudden he was professing all this love and lust. In retrospect, curiosity killed the (bigotted) cat and I'm saddled with attraction and appreciation of both genders.

Here's something I'm at a complete loss to understand: if some people are attracted to the opposite sex, & some are attracted to the same sex, then why in the world would we not think that people can be attracted to BOTH sexes? It has never made any sense to me that anyone would think a bi person is "confused".

Definitely there are some people who really ARE confused, but that has nothing to do with someone who is truly bi.

And please, don't refer to yourself as being "saddled" with bisexuality. TBH, I kind of envy people who are attracted to both women and men; I feel like I'm missing something.

 

[drn2001]

like lady gaga, born this way.

 

[ringoshini]

Here's something I'm at a complete loss to understand: if some people are attracted to the opposite sex, & some are attracted to the same sex, then why in the world would we not think that people can be attracted to BOTH sexes? It has never made any sense to me that anyone would think a bi person is "confused".

Definitely there are some people who really ARE confused, but that has nothing to do with someone who is truly bi.

And please, don't refer to yourself as being "saddled" with bisexuality. TBH, I kind of envy people who are attracted to both women and men; I feel like I'm missing something.

Haha the saddled bit was an attempt at black humour, sorry it kinda didn't seem that way. Anyway the you can keep the envy cause its not that easy to sort out the attractions, hence my lengthy post with the added sexual attraction and emotional attraction bit. And my post lacks a bit of context, for which I apologise. Where I come from, it isn't uncommon for a certain number of gay men to view us as people who simply deny that they are gay and keep up the bi-shield to make ourselves feel better. I've always felt angry whenever someone insinuates I don't know myself well enough, I used to not know myself well enough but I do now. Guess it came out through the post a bit unhealthily.:rofl:

 

[Topperscott]

I don't know if I was born this way or not. Probably a combination of nature and nurture.

The only problem I have with the "born this way" mantra is that it makes being gay sound like some kind of birth defect. (Please don't blame me for this disgusting thing...I can't help it... *sob* )