Does Such A Thing As "Loyalty" Exists Anymore?

[jw4833]

Hey Guys:

I was having dinner last night with an close friend and he went on to say that one of the things he loved about me was the fact that I've been very loyal friend for all of the years we've known each other. I was very flattered by this especially after he gave examples of why he made that statement. If any of my friends tell me something of confidence...then it will stay that way. After the evening, I started thinking more in depth about what he and I were discussing at dinner. Recently, I had met someone out for lunch a couple of weeks ago and we were having this conversation in regard to the fact that he noticed that I tend to be a pretty private individual to the extent that I do not like displaying a lot about myself on social media unless I feel that my related experiences may help someone who is going through something that I've endured and overcame. Therefore, I tend to believe that my advice can be helpful in a lot of ways. Nonetheless...after being engaged in this conversation with this guy ....and due to the theme of privacy...I had assumed that what I was sharing with this guy on a personal level was between me and him especially since he was trying to get in my pants...haha...Unfortunately to my dismay...within a matter of hours...he went on to share what I discussed with him on Twitter and it really annoyed me...but his actions also confirmed to me not to get intimate with him since he did not know how to keep things to himself. Therefore, I feel this behavior was a blessing in disguise.

This conversation also got me thinking about two guys that I've been involved with in my past. One is a very high profile executive for a globally well known corporation and the other is very relevant in his occupation as well. The first guy I was involved in a 5 year relationship with and the other ...we were with each other for probably a year due to the cirstances that involved his career path. Nonetheless..the reason I've mentioned these two is that I still hear from these guys occasionally. While one is married now with two kids and the other is engaged to be married...they have told me on separate occasions that I will be connected to them because of my loyalty and my good heart.

See...there's that word again...Loyalty...so...I bring this topic to the forum...do any of you guys still believe this word or the act of loyalty still exist??....As always...thank you in advance for your response....JW :thumbs up:

 

[W!nston]

Yes. Loyalty still exists. The challenge is knowing who is loyal to who or what.

 

[gb2000ie]

Absolutely it still exists!

It has never been ubiquitous, and it is not ubiquitous now, but it will always exit. It is now, and always has been, valuable precisely because you can't take it for granted.

I don't think we live in particularly loyal or un-loyal time.

B.

 

[Otage]

Yes, definetly. To me it's very important. Especially with friends. Good friend is loyal, trustworthy, and always there for you. That's how I am to all my best friends, and my best friends also have these qualities.

But I think loyalty is bit like trust, it takes time to grow, it's not for granted. And usually this deep trust and loyalty forms with friends of your youth, family, cause as working man one doesn't spend anymore all his time hanging with friends, and there won't so many occasion where loyalty is tested:thinking:

 

[Frenchgerman]

For me the questions are more like :
loyal to whom ? and is there a limit to loyalty ?

to my friends (classic definition of loyalty) or to myself and my opinions (integrity) ? and what to do when those two definitions are in conflict !


In general, yes loyalty exists but the limits have changed ! We tend to gossip inside our community, nothing kew about that !
But I think the couples in our community tent to be more loyal to each other then their hetero counterparts. This comes, perhaps, because of the relative newness of our mariage rights and the somewhat 'old fashioned' meaning (for us) of the term 'couple'. The hetero couples tent to take from the 'couple' what they need and where is no 'interest' anymore, the couple is dissolved.
This is evidently a simplification but sociological studies go in this direction when analysing homo / hetero behaviour inside a couple.

 

[Shelter]

Yes - I totally believe in LOYALTY! And it will exist now and as well in the far future. There will be loyalty between friends, lovers, spouses.

Sure always will be too disloyalty in our life. Disloyalty may hurt you, but as well it will make you stronger!

Every friend HAS TO BE faithful to his friend - if not, he couldn't use the term "friend" for himself.

And as a loving couple you have to trust to each other totally. It always must be possible for you to talk with or to your partner in honesty and sincerity. If so you will have his loyalty and reverse.

 

[Frenchgerman]

to you, what does 'LOYALTY' means ?

 

[Shelter]

From whom you want an answer?????

 

[Frenchgerman]

from those who are inspired ...

so feel free !

 

[jw4833]

to you, what does 'LOYALTY' means ?

I guess for me...to define the word "loyalty" really has some many dimensions to it. However, for me...in a sense...loyalty means to give someone whom you have a strong bond with (i.e.; friend, partner, family member, etc) and you support that individual without judgment. Loyalty for me is if I decide to confide and share something of a personal nature with you and I inform you that this is sensitive to me because its personal and you decide to spread it amongst your social network followers....then this is not a form of being loyal to me and yes...I guess it does has a lot to do with personal integrity as well. I remember when I was bartending and this woman would come in all the time and she loved to drink until she got sloppy drunk night after night. The thing is I got to know this woman to the degree where I looked beyond her alcohol consumption and saw the individual that was underneath the surface. We had established a friendship where we go out to dinner together and we loved to dance all night long. She was a very good dancer and many times...the customers would request that before the night was over...could I get behind the bar to have a few dances with her. We even went out to dinner together at least twice a week. Nonetheless...you had your naysayers who confronted me on many occasions and wanted to know why I had a friendship with her when she appeared to be nothing but a unattractive, sloppy drunk. I responded to them that because I've seen a side of her that I had become quite impressed with that none of them took out the time to see...I am able to look beyond her drunkenness, what is considered unattractive and her love for alcohol. That is what makes me enjoy and love her even more because I've seen the beauty behind what is brought into the forefront. This to me is example of being loyal to someone despite of what others may think of them.

 

[Shelter]

Well LOYALTY for me means mutual understanding; in bad times not to go away but to lend one's support; in times of sadness to give honest solace which can be too a tender embrace; in times of luck to laugh with you - in few words: TO BE THERE

LOYALTY is a must and the salt in a good intimate togetherness - a must for your personal welfare. Without LOYALTY - and that's only my personal feeling - there can't be exist LOVE!

 

[Frenchgerman]

loyalty for me is not closing the eyes to the flares of character of someone but to stand by him nontheless, to help him, to support him, to be there for him, be it with advice, discussion, or even an embrace.

 

[Otage]

But I think the couples in our community tent to be more loyal to each other then their hetero counterparts.

Could this be some areal/cultural thing, since I have the exact opposite idea and experience?:thinking: Like I don't know any gay couple, that there hasn't been cheating, or then they are "open relationships". Don't really know all that many gay couple, but even from friends I always hear these stories how this and that of their friends have broken up again cause this and that cheated on blaa blaa

And of course I'm not saying gay couples can't be loyal, but I don't believe that they are more loyal than hetero couples. But maybe my patch of straight couples I known are very loyal kind. I prefer quality in friends more than quantity

 

[Frenchgerman]

you see, otage, having an open relationship and loyalty are two things which have nothing to do with each other ... For me, loyalty and sexual fidelity have nothing to do with each other.
And is cheating really really incompatible with loyalty ? you can cheat on your BF / partner / husband and be fiercly loyal in all the other aspects of life - it depends on the other if this will create problems ... and if it does, than evidently, the loyalty is questioned ...

but you see, monogamy (or better : sexual fidelity) is an hetero concept (children, lineage, extraction) ! gays can adhere to this principe but it's not an obligation ... and the heteros are not really less cheating then we are !

 

[jw4833]

I have to say that I have been in a gay relationship where cheating was not involved. Believe it or not...all gay couples do not cheat. I know some gay couples who have been together for over 30 years and they insist that they have not cheated on each other. I even know a few gay couples who have had open relationships and yet..they fell apart because one was more attracted to the third party as opposed to his boyfriend. For instance...with my last relationship...prior to us being committed...I had requested that my partner stayed single in order to mess around with whomever and get it out of his system and if he still had the desire to be with me..then we can move forward. He thought at the time this was an odd request considering that no one he has been involved with ever approached him in that manner. I just figured I would keep it real and honest because I knew in my heart that after all of those years of friendship and not being able to become a couple that this was the time and I just wanted him to be sure that we were on the same page. Needless to say...he declined my request because he knew he was more than ready for our relationship...but I did put it out there. Now...in my younger years...I would have never approached any boyfriend with this proposition...therefore...I guess I've matured in a lot of ways.

 

[pete123]

Of course it exists and not only among gays

 

[CUBBYJR1]

yes it does but it is very rare.

 

[dancap48066]

Certainly, and I agree with many posts on here about to whom it is given and to what extent. It also must be nurtured like any relationship and given time to strengthen.

 

[powermate]

It does in many shapes and forms