First Love, Only Love

[stanyy]

My first love was my only love. When I was in HS I fell madly in love with my best friend, he was straight thou, and I never could get him to do anything with me, but I had such a crush on him…We even moved into a small apartment after school, and slept in the same bed!!! God was that hard not to attack him, I just wanted to smother him in kisses, I still remember just laying there and smelling his pillow, oooooo he smelled good. But I just couldn’t get him to fool around, but I must admit I didn’t push it, I cared to much for him to do that, and he didn’t care that I was gay at all, but after yrs of being friends we drifted apart…

But because of this rebuke, I never let anyone get to me like that again, I vowed not to fall in love, it was just to hard on me…lol

Has anyone else loved someone they never could get? And if so, did it change the way you went throu life?

 

[XMan101]

First rule of sex - NEVER with a friend

I guess we've all had crushes on friends in our life. You allowed yourself to get too close!! If you feel like that about a friend you need a bit of distance. You know it won't happen but can't help yourself, I know the feeling from younger days.

Simple, face reality, move on. Easy to say, hard to do, but if you don't you end up brooding over it forever.

We can't help our feelings to others, but the best ones are close friendships, no sex, just great friends, people you can turn to when love or life goes wrong.

Never mix the two

 

[JonnyFantastico]

That is such a great response, XMan... but it does sort of beg another quandry.

There was this one quote on an episode of "Queer as Folk" that always stuck with me. Paraphrasing, it had to deal with having a sexual/romantic attraction toward a friend. IT was something like, "If you're not having sex with someone you can't call a friend, are you having sex with a stranger?" I probably said that all kinds of wrong, but the gist was as emotionally raw as sex can be, how is it possible not to share that with someone you know rather than someone you don't know.

I can completely understand the rules and not "shitting where you eat", so to speak, but there's always that case of falling in love with someone that you're extremely close to. I've been there once or twice (one sticks out in my mind more than the others... we even fooled around a couple of times, but as time went on, I was glad to know that it was nothing more than that and that he didn't return my feelings in that way), but sometimes; the closest friendships can bring forth the best relationships.

Plus, you should already have a friend in the person you fall in love with, but that's a whole other thing altogether. LOL

But to answer the original question: of course, we've more than likely have all been there at one point or another in our lives. Has it changed me? Yes, but not in the negative sense. We can't always get what we want, but that shouldn't stop us from picking ourselves up and moving on and finding someone else better suited for our needs, especially in matters of love (although, in truth; it should fit for all aspects of our lives).

There's someone for everyone and if you can't get it from that one person, that shouldn't stop you from finding it in someone else. And besides, there's always love... just different versions and aspects of it.

In an odd way, you didn't lose out on love, Stanyy... you just had another line of it in your life and one that was just as special: the love of a true friend.

 

[XMan101]

>>how is it possible not to share that with someone you know rather than someone you don't know.<<

It's a different thing, someone you know as a friend is taboo for bed. OK occasionally you can get close over time & realise you want to be together, but then you'll both know and it'll be mutual.

You meet someone, outside the usual friendship, and have an attraction, you get on and you go to bed and more develops. If it fails you tend to separate and often never be close buddies, unlike those you've never slept with.

Me & a gay friend DID sleep together!! It caused terrible problems with me, I had fallen for him, but he never felt quite the same as much as he loved me in other ways. It ended happily as he's still one of my closest friends and those feelings have gone.

It was difficult at the time, though. I only give advice from experience and from the heart, because I know all the difficulties in emotions with people, I'm not quoting text books.

I believe that if you have the love of good friends you are richer than anyone with money

 

[stanyy]

Oh Stanyy,

I can totally relate with you, When I was In HS I had a lot of crushes (since it was a boys school) and I had also experienced a lot of heartbreaks because I got tired to loving and I get nothing in return. A lot of times that I have promised myself not to fall in this wretched enterprise of love but I just fall back into the pattern and break myself apart all over again. I'm tired of loving indeed, and I'm wondering If I'll ever find my one true love. Thats Why I became cold, people see me as Cold, they would often remark me as a Cold Hearted Person, but once I was friendly and warm, but it all changed because of my past experiences of love.

Now, I'm working hard so I wont be able to feel it, I only go with my circle of friends and had no crush ever since I went to college. Boy, my heart must have turned into Stone! lol!

Shoot, please don't close yourself off to love ICE, i made that mistake a long time ago, and now i regret it deeply....If i had it to do over: I would love everyone!!! its a cliché, but i cant help it: LOVE LOVE LOVE, all you need is love (its a beatles tune) lol

 

[stanyy]

Your Right Stanyy! But for the moment I'll just wait for that love to come! XOXO!

ok sweetie XOXOXO

I hope you find it!!! or it finds you..lol