Forth Orientation?

[shamito86]

I met this guy like 8 months ago. I simply symbolized him as my knight in shining armor...lmao...fairy tales...ok.. he's a Kansas hottie, tall, athletic, and gorgeous face. The bonus things are his modest and honest personality. I'm a Murse (male nurse) in Paediatric ward in the local hospital, and he's a Paramedic (tho i think he should be a model lol). We started to hang out and began to be close. After a while, he began to act really protective towards me and went jelly if i interact too much with another male. Even when i kissed the cheek of young boy in the paed's ward just to say goodbye, he said he jelly for that lol. I was like "are u turning into Edward Cullen? Im not Bella lol".

Only after 3 months we've been together, he confessed his feelings towards me. And he asked me do i like him? And I said "whats not to like about you?, u know, the safeword lol. And when i pop the question "are u gay?", he said "no", "are you Bi?", he said "no" and finally i said "U're straight then?" and he replied "I don't like label. He said that he never attracted to anyone before. So i asked him why he atrracted to me and he said "coz u're what u're". I wonder what kind of orientation is he? I never heard of fourth orientation b4

Last February,I went to my Alumni Dinner and he want to tag along coz he want to meet my old friends back in the university. Prior to that Dinner we went to a local tailor (belong to my friend Sasha) to make a suits for him. After Sasha finished measuring him she whispered to me "he's a virgin". I was so suprised and asked her how can u tell that. She said "i've been with a lots on men b4 and he still got the "Sweet virgin" scent. And i was like "riteeeeeee". Now i got a "26 y/o Virgin Fourth Oriented Man"

I got into dilemma when he asked me to visit his hometown to visits his Family in Kansas. I met his mother and his two older sisters. He's the first borned Son of the family and the only male Heir. During the late afternoon i stay at home and help his mother and sisters prep for dinner while he went out to get some groceries from the nearby mart. His mother and sisters shared with me about his past. From there i realized that he's a very good man. I also confirmed that he's a virgin coz his Sis said "Finally he will popped his cherry" His mother said "U're lucky to have him and he's lucky to have u" I was like OMG, am i dreaming? I nearly slapped myself in the kitchen to make sure im not dreaming, and her sis said "Honey, u're not dreaming, we're happy that u guys are together"

During the Dinner, he proposed to me and asked me to get married. I was panicked, but his mother gave me the "nod" to tell me to accept. I accepted his proposal. But now im in dilemma, If he end up with me i can't give him a child in future. He's a very gorgeous man, and all his Genes will go wasted if we're ended to be together.I'm also worried if someday he will leave me for a woman coz he wants a child. Plus that gay marriage isn't accepted in some places in the world. During the late nite i explained to him my dilemma and he said that if im worried about child, we can adopt his Sis's child (his sis got 6 childs lol) so that we could be related and i can be the child legal guardian.

So back to the title, b4 i proceed my life with him, should i allow him to be with a woman to make sure he's not missing anything? Coz im still not sure about his "4th Orientation" thingy. Im not sure if anyone else have been in the same case as i'm. If u guys have any insight plz share.

P/S Sorry for the walls of text O.O

 

[Whisper]

Just wanted to say this: being with a woman doesn't guarantee babies, we have the ability but it doesn't always work like it should Besides, is getting babies the only purpose to get together?

Just some thoughts...

 

[brmstn69]

Children among gay couples is not impossible. In fact, we have a gay couple here that have been together for years and recently welcomed their third child...

 

[Tjerk12]

Go for it. Even an infinite lucky person will not be offered a chance like that. I am from The Netherlands and my country has made more progress on the matter of Gay marriage. People experience it as quite normal. One of our top TV stars Paul de Leeuw is openly gay, tells (in a proud way) in his show about his husband and his adopted children.
The USA will develop and become mentally a modern country too, without doubt.

 

[achillthatbends]

This sort of dilemma for gay men is quite familiar especially in Asia. "Straight" men tend to have relationships with gay men while saying that they are "labelless" in terms of orientation. This sort of situation can be both fruitful or devastating at the same time. He seems to be all up for a relationship and even to get married so why not take a chance? We can always try. No matters what happens we remain to be always GAY, happy and ready to love. Good luck!

 

[shamito86]

This sort of dilemma for gay men is quite familiar especially in Asia. "Straight" men tend to have relationships with gay men while saying that they are "labelless" in terms of orientation. This sort of situation can be both fruitful or devastating at the same time. He seems to be all up for a relationship and even to get married so why not take a chance? We can always try. No matters what happens we remain to be always GAY, happy and ready to love. Good luck!

Thanks. TBH i'm half asian and half spanish..but im not twinky like asian but looks younger than pure caucasian at the same age...thanks to the asian blood lol... Well i've been in relationship with another gay guys b4 and i know the up and down of gay relationship..and being "gay" only refer to my sexual orientation not my personality. My life is just as same as other straight guys except that i dont smoke, drink alcohol or drugs (thanks for the nursing school), and i don't speak in high tone like certain gay ppl ( i can't stand high tone, made my eardrums hurt O.O). So externally other ppl will think im straight too until they saw me kissing him lol..In his case i don't know what to labeled him..If he's straight he would attracted to some gorgeous woman equal to his own beauty. And if he's gay, he should have fall in love with some Abercrombie & Fitch model rather than me. I used to say to him that i don't deserved him coz he's like a God among mortal for me..lmao..and he replied "i love u for the beauty of your heart" and bla bla bla which made me laugh at the end.

Go for it. Even an infinite lucky person will not be offered a chance like that. I am from The Netherlands and my country has made more progress on the matter of Gay marriage. People experience it as quite normal. One of our top TV stars Paul de Leeuw is openly gay, tells (in a proud way) in his show about his husband and his adopted children.
The USA will develop and become mentally a modern country too, without doubt.

Tho im still worried about life after marriage especially he never been in relationship b4..this is the first time im involve with a man who nvr fall in love b4. Sometimes made me wonder does he love me or he just confused. Well kinda hard if i end up screwing an innocent man :worried:

Children among gay couples is not impossible. In fact, we have a gay couple here that have been together for years and recently welcomed their third child...

He don't want surrogate from what he told me. He said he don't want his seed grow in some woman...made me laugh sometimes..well adoption is good i think...after all his 5 y/o nephew love me...:blushing:

Just wanted to say this: being with a woman doesn't guarantee babies, we have the ability but it doesn't always work like it should Besides, is getting babies the only purpose to get together?

Just some thoughts...

lol..ty for ur thought.. well i want him to be with a woman first to make sure he's straight or not...anyway he was kinda upset when i said that to him...lucky im very good at calming a sulking man...lol

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Before I begin with my manifest (get ready I'm also a very long statements writer), the couple that BRMSTN69 referred to is us; Me and my soon to be husband Alex.

Children among gay couples is not impossible. In fact, we have a gay couple here that have been together for years and recently welcomed their third child...

I will not write the whole story of me and Alex in this post because frankly just go back in few of them and you'll find out that I mention Alex a lot in my posts, I always use our own experience as example if I need to make a point regarding couples, sex or pretty much everything. Me and Alex have been together for 6 years, we're getting officially married in less than a month on June 25th of this year, we have together 3 children; Maria-Sandra 16, Josh 11 and Jasmine 4 months. Two of them are my own since Alex is my first official gay boyfriend ever (always was with women before him), and the last one Jasmine is the product of artificial insemination from Alex' sperm with my forever best girlfriend. We have a huge house together and all of us live under the same roof including Jasmine's mother. Alex is 10 years younger than I am with is 26 years old, he's a former super-model (so yes he's hot as hell) and I'm a former porn performer and escort. So you now get a big picture of what kind of couple we are. We truly love each other and not just because he has an angelic face or me having a Bruce Lee body. And by the way Alex was also a registered nurse from the pediatric ward, just like you.

The bonus things are his modest and honest personality. I'm a Murse (male nurse) in Paediatric ward in the local hospital, and he's a Paramedic (tho i think he should be a model lol).

Just that passage proves that you two are made for one another.

And when i pop the question "are u gay?", he said "no", "are you Bi?", he said "no" and finally i said "U're straight then?" and he replied "I don't like label. He said that he never attracted to anyone before. So i asked him why he atrracted to me and he said "coz u're what u're". I wonder what kind of orientation is he? I never heard of fourth orientation b4

You're dude is absolutely right, gay, bisex, transgender, etc. are social labels. Although socially speaking I am bisexual because I can still love a woman the same way I love Alex, but I choose him. So for other people I am fully gay since they've seen me and Alex together for so many years, but from a social categorization both Alex and I are bisexual because he won't mind having sex with a woman but not alone. The last time we had sex with a girl he wanted me to penetrate him while he was penetrating her. So those are just labels, what he feels for you is real and you can call it "chocolate syrup" if you want. He's into chocolate syrup bottles, but also like honey syrup bottles, but he choose YOU that's all that count. And there's no such thing as a fourth orientation, unless you like animal (which is so wrong):rofl:

His mother and sisters shared with me about his past. From there i realized that he's a very good man. I also confirmed that he's a virgin coz his Sis said "Finally he will popped his cherry" His mother said "U're lucky to have him and he's lucky to have u" I was like OMG, am i dreaming? I nearly slapped myself in the kitchen to make sure im not dreaming, and her sis said "Honey, u're not dreaming, we're happy that u guys are together"

Dude consider yourself lucky to have been accepted so quick from his family, Alex's mother is a born again christian, and a christian fetishist, I have met Alex in a college party in Canada, but he was born in Maui and raised in Australia. Her mom sent him to his aunt's in Canada when she found out he was gay when he was 15. In our first 2 years I went back with him in Australia to meet his mom and trust she didn't like me just one bit. First I was black (not that she was racist but she believed that her son even gay could have got better) although we didn't presented ourselves as a couple to her (except Alex's dad who is a closeted bisexual) she's not dumb enough not to see how much friend we were even if I'd new him only for 2 years back then. She wasn't fooled and after all she just knew that her son was gay. So any dudes that he'd bring home is a potential boyfriend. Last year I brought Alex back to his mom, and had him confronts her (almost lost him so much he was sick with stress, it takes 23 hours to get to Australia from Toronto, and Alex had started throwing up severely the day before we leave, and arriving in Los Angeles to take our plane to Sidney we had to involve the emergency). I was worried sick and so was my son who came with us. My Alex is very emotional and when he gets too stressed he throw up his guts.

During the Dinner, he proposed to me and asked me to get married. I was panicked, but his mother gave me the "nod" to tell me to accept. I accepted his proposal. But now im in dilemma, If he end up with me i can't give him a child in future. He's a very gorgeous man, and all his Genes will go wasted if we're ended to be together.I'm also worried if someday he will leave me for a woman coz he wants a child. Plus that gay marriage isn't accepted in some places in the world. During the late nite i explained to him my dilemma and he said that if im worried about child, we can adopt his Sis's child (his sis got 6 childs lol) so that we could be related and i can be the child legal guardian.

Now let's serious, yes my genes will be carried by my children and Alex's awesome genes will be carried by his daughter (our daughter), right now you're the one who worries because his genes are already present in his sister's children. Being with somebody for love doesn't mean that you absolutely have to make babies, they're plenty of poor little orphan child that would be as happy to share a home with the both of you without the gene pool. I was adopted (so was my sister) and I may not carry the genes of my parents but that doesn't remove the fact that THEY are my parents nonetheless. Plus you have the benediction of his family, so right there they don't mind much about him conceiving child for their gene pool to continue because his sister already took care of that. YOU should just focus on getting and loving the man of your life, and that is not selfish behavior. For Alex I went to the extend of accepting to let him have a child by artificial insemination with my playground best friend. I did confronted him a lot because, children are not toys, you have to care for them all the time until you DIE. But when I confronted him I knew he really wanted to be a father, so one day while we where having sex, I blew him collected his fresh and hot sperm (he comes a lot) in my mouth and spit it in a pot, froze it and brought it with me at the clinic and inseminate Cynthia. While I was making him cry like Mary Madelaine, our child was being conceived. We kept it secret until last year before we were going to Australia to confront his mother, and when we arrived in Sydney I told him that he was going to be a daddy, Cynthia, my son and my daughter were with us, it gave him the ammunition and a secret weapon to fight his mother, because the real problem wasn't him being gay, it was him not conceiving a grandchild. I fixed that for him.

So back to the title, b4 i proceed my life with him, should i allow him to be with a woman to make sure he's not missing anything? Coz im still not sure about his "4th Orientation" thingy. Im not sure if anyone else have been in the same case as i'm. If u guys have any insight plz share.

You may want to allow him to be with a woman, but sorry my friend I have to give reason to Whisper here, being with a woman doesn't necessarily means that you'll conceive a child, in today's busy life I see more and more couples being childless, whether because they don't want any or they've been exposed to Chernobyl:rofl:. HE WANTS YOU, not a woman. So my advice dude, follow your heart because from what I read in your post he loves you and you love him and that's all that count. You'll have plenty of time to deal with that matter later after few good bed talks.:cheers:

 

[shamito86]

Tyvm Jake for sharing ur insight. Im kinda new here in the forum so i need to dig up more of ur stories. When i have the time i'll read more of ur previous post. And Gratz for ur childs too, and to Alex.

Anyway Jake, about children, i was the "love children but not for me" kinda guy even i work at Paed's ward. Only after i met him (Jason is his name), i was like "if only i can carry his child in me" comes out out of nowhere :rofl:. Stil i'm wonders what will our child (if we have any) think of their gay parents? What if they turned to be homophobic?X_X And soon i'll be pretty much worry if they're gay or straight lol..

How should i deals with such thinking?

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

So I'm not gonna get into a long thing I'm just gonna address the "Fourth Orientation" thing. First of all there are many orientations besides gay straight and bisexual. Fyi Transgendered is a gender preference not a sexual orientation. There's Queer (Yes some people do refer to them selves as Queer.), Questioning, Intersex, Pansexual, and A-sexual. So there's many different orientations.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Take a good example at the family of Jason (I don't know about yours) are they homophobes? From your writing they are not. You're child will be laugh at school, you'll be the laughing stock of many other parents, or some parents will be scared of letting their child play with yours because they still believe that gay is an infectious disease that can be caught just by being near you. I had all that kind of behaviors.

Let me give you a quick story about my son coming home from a friend and the father of that friend told him that his son could never go to my place because of us being gay or that he didn't want is son to hang with mine. My son was on 7 years old and I came home from work seeing both my son and Alex discussing in the living room. Alex had red eyes (he cried) and so did my son. Now as the father and husband NOBODY insult my family in no FREAKIN ways. I should mentioned that I was adopted by a very wealthy family but I made my own wealth. And that professionally I am a sociologist/psychologist by education but work in other professional field. Yes I can afford a very expensive lawyer that would settle this. But first let's have meeting with the so call dad.

Alex and I took appointment with the dad and we discussed for hours about what it is to be gay, that my son is not necessarily gay because I was etc. Frankly all it was is that my son's friend dad was totally ignorant of gay couples and he never did see us in person either. It was always my son going to their place or his boy coming to our place. He learned that we we're just as good parents then he was and furthermore I didn't only have one child I had two back then.

We invited him to our place so he can see that nothing will happens to his son and he finally removed the ban when he saw how very similar we were with the education of my son versus his. I won't hide that I was ready to give a piece of my mind to the other man for hurting my son's feeling but I choose diplomacy and we're friends since then.

For school we placed my daughter and son in a private school (both at the same school so they can watch one another) and some rich little brats (my son is a rich brat too, but with a good education) were making fun of him, making him coming home crying. We first spoke with the principal and staff so they be aware that anything happening to my son will result in me suing the school and my very powerful socially family to sue them even more (this means School will close, that's a given) and Private school are not completely supported by the government so that would be a big things for them. Afterward we went in the auditorium and I gave a lecture on being gay and gay parents to children and parents... I'm a frikin sociologist I know my stuff. This made the teasing stopped the very next day. Because one phrase that I said that hit the spots was that I knew that some of the children in the auditorium will become gay or lesbian, some may already be and never told their parents, when that day comes where you'll have to face society and try to come out you will remember us.

You gotta stop anticipating the future because nobody knows about it, not you and no medium. CARPE DIEM (seize the day). So what if your son turn gay, you'll be the best adviser ever they could get. If your son turns homophobes that's because he's an ignorant and sometimes even though parents have taught them well, it happens that your son is an egocentric jerk, and that they're no cure for stupids even among family members. Make sure that YOU have nothing to reproach yourself, it would be a sad day but at least you would know that you're not completely the one to blame.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

So I'm not gonna get into a long thing I'm just gonna address the "Fourth Orientation" thing. First of all there are many orientations besides gay straight and bisexual. Fyi Transgendered is a gender preference not a sexual orientation. There's Queer (Yes some people do refer to them selves as Queer.), Questioning, Intersex, Pansexual, and A-sexual. So there's many different orientations.

Yet they are still just labels and I used them to separate social groups in studies but let's further this up:

Queer a ombrella term (therefore those identifying themselves as queer just don't really know what the word means) is somebody that identifies within the LGBT community. They could be a lesbian, gay bisexual, transgender, pansexual, gender queer, etc. It's more of a political terminology, not an orientation per se.

Bisexual is the attraction or interest of a man or a woman to both men and women.

Pansexuality or as used in social studies "omnisexuality) is the attraction or interest of a man, woman or gender queer (somebody who doesn't identify as a man or woman) to men women, transgender people, gender queer people, etc. They typically believe that gender doesn't matter within a relationship. Pansexual is also a very general terms... Roxy Red define himself as pan sexual.

Transgender, my bad you're right, but it is still a social categorization used by social scientist such as myself