FRICTION FICTION: CONFESSIONS OF AN EX-SEX SURROGATE by Keith Kokino (1988)

[monshanjik]

FRICTION FICTION: CONFESSIONS OF AN EX-SEX SURROGATE by Keith Kokino (1988)

CONFESSIONS OF AN EX-SEX SURROGATE

Article by Keith Kokino

(In Touch.141.August.1988)

At 27, Brad is tall, with light brown hair and a fair complexion. The
celebrity he most closely resembles is Don Johnson. Brad's athletic
build and devastatingly sexual personality might well have brought him a
career in movies rather than his current job as a counselor of college
students in California.

A while back Brad was between jobs. He'd come back from a stay in
Sweden, where he'd held his last job for nearly three years. In a
hospital-affiliated sex clinic near Stockholm, Brad was a sex surrogate
— for men. "Scandinavians are far less uptight about homosexuality than
Americans or even other Europeans. And in Norway, Sweden and Denmark,
gays have legal protections undreamt of in the U.S."

That's one reason Brad spent time in Copenhagen. "I'd finished college
in the states, couldn't get a good job, and wanted to travel before
settling down. I honestly thought I'd end up married, maybe even with a
kid. Till then I'd only had sex with guys a few times; I loved it, but
you know the way we're raised — with guilt and self-loathing. And that's
another reason I wanted to go abroad: to see if other cultures were all
that different.

"I went to Paris, met a guy named Jacques, he showed me the sights,
including his own. It was wonderful. He said he'd accepted his gayness
from the start, that it wasn't better or worse — just less common! His
parents accepted it, because he didn't act like a stereotype. In fact, I
found French society as a whole far less anti-sex than ours; our puritan
background makes America very anti-sexual in general and anti-sensual."

Brad lived in Copenhagen for a few months, "Illegally. I was working,
see. I was a male stripper for a month and a bit — at a gay nightclub
that tourists never go to, which was fine by me. But I got bored with
that, fast. A couple of years before, everyone was telling me I oughta
try modeling, 'cause of my looks. Finally, just to get them off my back,
and to earn some fast dough, I did."

"I lasted a few weeks in that. Modeling is dehumanizing, and I had to
pretend I was straight to everybody, even to the gay cameramen. All
because of the bosses and the industry's outlook. I mean, I'm butch
enough, and I figured I didn't need to apologize to anybody. Also,
female models are real cockteasers, especially if you're gay — they see
every man as a challenge, whether or not they actually want him in bed."

"Besides, I wanted something where I could use a skill, or at least my
personality. So I said goodbye to both modeling — in LA. — and
stripping, in Copenhagen."

Brad moved on to Sweden, where one of his cousins lives. "It was real
laid-back, and Stockholm a lot more small-townish than Copenhagen. I
lived there a few months, staying with my cousin, bumming around and
going over into Norway to see the fjords. Beautiful country, but
eventually kinda monotonous, and I was itching to work, make my own
way."

"So Nels shows me one of the sex newspapers he subscribes to — in
Sweden, they're not underground. Well, in the ad section — such is life
— help wanted: healthy gay or bisexual male, to work in sex clinic. I
was definitely intrigued; it was all so foreign to me, so liberal and
nonchalant. To make a long story short, I became a sex surrogate for
other men."

"At first I was afraid it was some kind of prostitution in disguise. But
it was all legit, and the doctor in charge of the clinic clearly
explained all the functions of the job. He told me what it paid, which
was itself healthy but not outstanding, that I'd have to undergo
training, and the work, by its nature, could only be part-time — but it
paid full-time wages.

"The place was hospital-affiliated but was underwritten by the
government — those incredibly high taxes — and a big chemical
corporation that makes condoms and birth control pills. Dr. K said the
main qualifications for the post were a healthy mind, sound body and a
sense of humor about oneself and sex. Of course, most of the clinic's
patients were heterosexuals, but they had two other gay surrogates,
whom, however, I never was allowed to meet. I think they felt we might
feel too competitive, or compare notes!"

"I only had to strip down to my shorts, so obviously equipment wasn't a
consideration. Though if they'd bothered to find out, I have a good 8
and1/2 inches to work with."

"So, I went through the training, which took three weeks full-time and
included slides, lectures, advice on diet, sexual exercises and
positions. Finally, three gay men came in with the doc and me, and
talked about their sex lives, sexual fantasies, what they liked and
didn't like, and why they were at the clinic. Two of them were a
long-time couple, one was a divorced man who had also divorced the
closet."

"Those three were my first patients . . ."

"The first session was with Jan, the older of the two partners: about
33. He was very handsome, more so than his younger mate, Karl, but he
had a self-esteem problem that re-flected itself in his dowdy
appearance. He was clean and cute, but his posture was poor and he kept
putting himself down. He thought he was a poor lover for Karl. He asked,
'How do I go about pleasing my man?' He said, 'You're American, you're
probably expert on sex.' which was funny, because I'd thought of Swedes
as sex experts."

"Well, I taught Jan by doing. For one thing, he'd never masturbated in
front of Karl. He was shy about that. It was the first mental block we
worked on. I masturbated in front of him, which melted the barrier
between us. Jan became less formal, more playful — Swedes tend to seem
aloof or shy, but are very natural and fun-loving, underneath."

"Eventually, Jan was able to jerk off in front of me. By the third
climax, which happened the first week, he was moaning and aiming that
shaft right at me. The landed on my belly, and Jan surprised me by
pushing me down on the mat and licking some of it off, very slowly. Then
he sucked on me; Jan was already expert at oral sex, and most of what he
and Karl did was oral sex — they're a monogamous couple."

"I taught Jan to do more with oral sex. Now, in their case, that couple
didn't care for anal sex much, and only did it a few times a year. But
while I was sucking on Jan, also tending to his balls inside my mouth, I
palmed him between his scrotum and his asshole. Back and forth, rougher
and on into his sphincter with my forefinger. He came while I had it in
there, and I took him deep down in my throat."

"Jan had complained that he sometimes took too long to come and he felt
Karl got tired, or his mouth did. But I showed Jan that with Karl's
finger up his asshole, gently probing, Jan could come just as soon as he
liked, or prolong it."

"Like many Swedes, Jan wasn't that tactile, and even I'd learned
something from Dr. K, who was half-Italian. Jan said he usually didn't
feel aroused enough for sex in the morning; I lay on the mat with Jan in
front of me, and with me as Karl, I stroked his balls, cupping them
forcefully, then racing my fingertips against them, and after a few
mutually pleasurable minutes, with my hard cock against his buns, I had
Jan's balls high in their sac, and he was quite aroused."

"So I was going to go down on Jan again, but as he was aroused and
feeling curious, he wanted me to screw him — for the first time. 'But
not doggy-style, that hurts!' And not legs-over-shoulders, which he felt
was only right with his life partner. Rather, we tried him sitting on my
cock. That way he could control the rate of anal penetration, and once I
was fully in, he could maneuver the act to his greatest pleasure.
Besides which, again, like the finger up his ass, the insertion
stimulated his love button, so there was certainly more pleasure than
discomfort."

"Jan went home and tried these things with Karl. For some reason,
masturbating in front of his mate was the most difficult. They did take
up anal sex, with legs over shoulders and with one sitting on the
other's cock, the way Jan and I had done. And their sex life steadily
improved. But once Jan could jerk off in front of Karl, some kind of
release occurred. Last thing I heard — they sent me a letter — they were
more sexually active and fulfilled than they had been since their early
years together."

"With the other partner, Karl, Brad had sex of all kinds. Thing is, Karl
didn't feel sexually inadequate, just a bit bored. And Jan hadn't want
to go to a sex clinic alone, he said it would feel disloyal, like
cheating. Since they were a couple of proven duration, they could both
go to the clinic. So for Karl, what it really amounted to was an affair,
with no guilt."

Karl later told Brad that his sex life with Jan had improved due to "the
delicious outside variety I had from my primary relationship." Says
Brad, "Straight or gay, every couple needs a bit of diversion — I mean,
monogamy's a fine goal, but 100 percent is, well, a little abnormal. Not
to mention drab!"

Brad's third patient was Hans, a recently divorced carpenter, 28 years
old and a typical Scandinavian blond, with a muscular body and a thickly
hung tool. "He'd never had a homosexual affair," says Brad
incredulously, "and like me before the first time, he had some hang-ups.
He didn't want to take on any kind of passive role, and he only came to
the clinic after going to several gay bars, getting almost picked up —
and once even went to a guy's home, but no dice — winding up both
frustrated and feeling guilty.

"Hans comes from a religious family, which is rather rare in Sweden.
That induced much of the guilt, plus he was semi into the macho trip. So
with him I had to start from scratch. First session, we stripped in
front of each other. So far, so good —nudity's of course very common in
Scandinavia. But Hans got to stare at me and I at him. He told me what
he liked about my body; I did the same."

"'I like your tight, muscular buns,' I said. 'How do you feel about
that, Hans?' 'I feel you want to fuck me when you say that,' answered
Hans. 'Maybe not, maybe I just want to see your butthole, or even lick
it. Would that be so bad?' I asked. He smiled but didn't answer.

"Then he said, 'I like your cock. It's uncircised and I haven't seen
many of those.' I knew he wanted to play with the foreskin, move it up
and down. But I couldn't hurry him. So that first session we talked,
both got hard in the process, and at the end, unprompted, Hans kissed me
on both cheeks — of my face — before leaving."

"Second session, Hans lay on his belly on the mat and I stroked his back
and patted his buns, which were hard but receptive, even shuddery. I
played pat-a-cake with his butt, and for the first time, he laughed.
Then I got him to spread his legs, and I stroked him in there, with my
fingers. I'd have rimmed him if he'd asked, but he didn't."

"Then one of the exercises I'd been taught: Nude, we lay on the mat
spoon-style, with Hans behind me, so he wouldn't feel apprehensive. He
put his hand on my heart and felt the beat, and we were silent several
minutes until his heartbeat synchronized itself with mine."

"On his own initiative, Hans reached down and grabbed my cock, getting
it hard in a minute. The first time he'd touched another man's prick, he
said at the end. He wouldn't suck it, but he played with it until I came
near to climax. 'Do you want me to shoot off?' I asked. He said, 'Not
yet. But I'd like to, in front of you now.'

"Can I play with yours?' I gently asked, wanting him to feel what I
felt. He nodded, and lay back, and I gave him a hand-job, to climax.
Apparently my client hadn't come in days, maybe over a week, because it
was a violent and long orgasm, and he shot maybe a quarter-cup of hot
jism in thick creamy strings. I knew he was deeply, violently loving it,
but we didn't talk about it till we'd dressed and were sitting on a
comfortable couch."

'"How did you feel about that?' I inquired in my most professional
manner. Hans said it was the best climax he could remember, but he was
slightly troubled that it hadn't been with a woman, though a woman had
never made him feel so 'intense or wildly excited.' Eventually I worked
out that it wasn't so much any guilt about homosexuality, which is not
taught by the Swedish school system or media, unlike in America. What
Hans had was guilt — religiously induced — about self-pleasure: Onanism,
so-called."

"So before we could have real sex, he had to masturbate me and I him,
and at the third session I jerked him off twice, and he got me off once.
Each time, of course, there was less guilt. He couldn't name any bad
result of masturbation, and had to admit it was a solution for
overpopulation, which is a real issue in Sweden, not to mention the rest
of the world. The last step was for Hans to masturbate in front of me,
which is tougher, psychologically, than being masturbated or
masturbating someone."

"But he did it, grabbing my hair and shooting off onto my chest. That
session, Hans was very masterful, almost rough. Compensating, you see.
He asked to stroke my ass the way I'd stroked his, and then he spit on
his finger and pushed it up into me, fast and smooth. I asked how it
felt and he said he'd like to substitute his cock for his finger. I
said, 'Go for it!'

"But first Hans asked me to lube his cock by sucking on him awhile; his
virgin blow-job, which I found hard to believe. Anyway, as I expected,
he came in my mouth, or throat, actually. And then he wanted to
masturbate me — but still didn't ask to blow me. So he took lots of
time, even exceeding the session, and masturbated me. But whenever I
almost came, he'd apply pressure and stop the climax — he was expert at
that."

"Finally, in a swift, cat-like movement, he leapt down between my legs
and began sucking my cock for all he was worth; greedily, like a starved
animal. I didn't hold out long, and shoved my cock totally down his
throat. He gagged a little at first, then I held his head to my groin
and Hans took it. Smoothly, swallowing it and licking his lips
unsmilingly. I said nothing and neither did he. We just lay there, side
by side. Finally, he did smile and half-jokingly asked, 'Got a
cigarette?"

"From then on, we smashed one taboo after another. Hans did screw me —
cautiously; you'd have thought he was the one hurting from that big
thick nine-incher of his — not that it really hurt! He came, but he
wasn't satisfied until the second screwing, when he played with me a bit
and I finished myself off. He'd wanted both of us to come. To him it was
important, and he said the guilt had just about worn off."

"Of course the last taboo, the final step was another man — me — fucking
Hans. Before that, we had to go through more exercises in self-and
mutual-pleasuring, and Hans had a counseling session with Dr. K. At
last, Hans asked me to fuck him, preparing him by his inserting two of
his fingers into his asshole first, then two of mine, finally my prick,
which — luckily for him — wasn't as thick as his own monster."

"To his great surprise, and I'm sure relief, there was almost no pain
after the first insertion. But once I was fully in, Hans insisted on
controlling the act, and so I couldn't maneuver around in there to find
his love button, as we called it. So Hans deprived himself of any real
anal pleasure. The following session, he was supposed to let me screw
him again, with me controlling the screwing."

"But there was no next time. Hans left the program, stating that he was
beyond need of it. I wondered whether I'd done right by him, whether
he'd really broken free of the closet. Then he receded into the back of
my mind because, over the next few years, there were other patients —
other men, other bodies, other minds. And I got very involved with them,
even emotionally. Though I'm proud to say I didn't cross the
professional line and never took a patient as a lover."

"Eventually, of course, I decided to leave surrogate-dom. It was very
demanding, both physically and emotionally. I returned to America to
start a new life. A few months after landing my new job, I got a
thank-you card from Hans and found that he's now a counselor at a
lesbian/gay centre in London!"

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Thanks to original poster in Yahoo! gaymagazinefiction group!
Enjoy!