Friendships and Past Relationships

[linniejr2013]

I have a question to ask. It's been on my mind since one of my best friends and his lover broke up and since my lover and I almost broke up. The question is Can a true friendship honestly be forged between persons who were once lovers?

Let me explain why I asked this question. My lover and I had terrible fight some months ago and we were considering breaking up. After we got ourselves together and talked about what caused the argument we have worked things out. While we were thinking about breaking up I let him know that once we go our separate ways I couldn't just be his friend knowing what we meant to each other. Not to mention I couldn't continue to go around his family or the friends that we made and met as a couple, because it would hurt too much. My best friend and his ex tried, but then about a month or two later, we all were in each others presence and my friend had someone and so did my friend's ex. As hard as they tried they just couldn't remain in the room together.

So my question again: Is it possible to have a friendship with someone whom you had a past relationship with? And then should you remain friends with his family and the friends you made as a couple. Just asking. Lets talk about it.

Linnie

 

[warp9]

Yes, it is possible. Might take a few month, but why not ? A good friendship means knowing each other very well. It's natural, that it hurts a lot in the first months, but if it doesn't hurt no longer, there is no reason not to try it out. So give it a chance. 2 of my best friends were once my lovers. Now we meet, eat, drink, talk, laugh - without the sex of course : even that would be possible - but we don't want to. There is no guarantee for it, but you will never know, if you don't give it a chance.

 

[jw4833]

The majority of my exes and I do get along very well over recent years although we are not together anymore. I take it as flattering and a compliment because they all had initiated re-establishing a connection between us in a most genuine way. However, there is one whom was my very first bf and much older than myself. To this day, we do not get along because he is very possessive and a huge liar. Unfortunately, he can't except a friendship between us...he still wants to get back together as a couple. Therefore, because I've moved on...he finds me to be very offensive...oh well..such as life!!!!!

 

[Snfk38]

The only times I've found that it really works is when the relationship fizzles out of its own accord and you both agree to end it - otherwise there always seems to be an imbalance in the friendship afterwards, with one person wishing there was more to it...

 

[linniejr2013]

Snfk38, that is something to think about.
Linnie