Gotta question 4 u all

[jw4833]

I went to a barbeque earlier today that was given by one of the major Gay Bowling League in the state. Several years ago, in between bfs, I had two lesbian buddies at different times that I thought we were pretty close due to the fact that they were my main dancing partners, we always had great times whenever we hung out and I assumed there were a great amount of respect for each other. To my surprise, each of these ladies have passed away almost a year and a half apart that really took everyone off guard because neither one had any health issues and yet, there death was completely out of the blue. About ten years ago, I had distanced myself from each of these ladies at different times because each one had been cock-blocking guys who were trying to get with me behind my back by telling them lies about me and the word got back to me.

The reason I brought this up was today at this barbeque, a guy that have not seen in years had started a conversation with me and as we talked more, he had brought out pictures of me with each one of them at various outings. He then preceded how each one had confessed to him how much they were in love with me and although they knew I was gay..they could not stand the thought of seeing me happy with a guy..they'd prefer to see me alone and spending time with them. Now, as I recall, each of them had girlfriends at various times of our friendship as to which I had no problem with and I would distance myself somewhat in order for them to spend time with their partners. However, this conversation with this guy today had brought back memories of how one of their girlfriends had confessed to me that her lady would call out my name in her sleep.

At this barbeque, a guy had approached me and told me how he always had a crush on me but did not pursue it because of what he was told by one of my lesbian friends and he decided to keep his distance. This really pissed me off not only with them, but with him as well because I felt that he should have came to me and found out whatever was bothering about me first hand instead of listening to rumours. Therefore, he lost my respect.

This is the thing..now, I do have a few lesbian friends who are in relationships and yet, they do respect me and treat me as a friend and not as a potential fuck buddy. On the other hand, I have had many who have made lame attempts to try to get in my pants and when it didn't work out to their advantage, they got pissed, manipulative, coniving..you name it..and it ruined the friendship...

So, this is my question???...Have this ever happened to any of you guys and if so, how did you go about handling it...Just thought I would bring it to the discussion since it triggered my thoughts today...Thanks a lot...:thinking: :no:

 

[Mamah]

I am 98% gay, I would say, but I have always found elements in the gay community behaving in this sort of nasty, greedy way. No doubt it also happens in straight & bisexual life as well. I deal with it by not being exclusively involved in only gay friendships, but also keeping a core of long-standing, down-to-earth, worldly-wise friends (straight, gay, bi) whose lives are not too involved only in any sort of social scene.

 

[jw4833]

That's a very interesting, and very sad, story. I'm glad nothing like that ever happened to me, and I knock on wood in hope that it will never happen. My story is not, and by far, similar to yours, although the feeling of betrayal I felt was probably as horrible as yours.

When I was twelve years old, a rumour started about me being gay at school. I was small, I was thin, I was clumsy and not good at sports, so I was considered a wimp, hence the rumour of me being gay. It went so bad that I dreaded going to school because of the name calling and other insults. Little did I know that this rumour came first by the mouth of my very best friend who was saying all these atrocities behind my back. Soon enough, I discovered the truth when he started hanging out with the "popular" crowd of the school, leaving me friendless. It ended when I was 14 years old and went to live with my brother in another city after my parents died. A few years later, I was having a drink with friends in a gay bar when I spotted him waving at me. He even pushed to button to come and flirt with me. I emptied my glass of Bordeaux on his head.

Good for you..That's what I'm talking about..let's have a beer together...lol...:cheers:

 

[jw4833]

I am 98% gay, I would say, but I have always found elements in the gay community behaving in this sort of nasty, greedy way. No doubt it also happens in straight & bisexual life as well. I deal with it by not being exclusively involved in only gay friendships, but also keeping a core of long-standing, down-to-earth, worldly-wise friends (straight, gay, bi) whose lives are not too involved only in any sort of social scene.

I actually do have straight, bi friends as well..who respect me to the fullest without any condemnation ..and they have been in my life for almost sixteen years..unfortunately, I happened to only have that problem within the gay community..so sad..but hey..that's life..I know how to get around it now...