logan222
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I don't think we have a thread where we talk about this directly, so here it is!
So, for those of us still fortunate to have our parents (or to have had our parents) how IS (or was) your relationship with your parents? Are you close? Were you close? Did coming out (if you have come out to them) change that? How so?
For me, I've always been close to my parents. When I was younger, there was this odd Bobby Hill/Hank Hill dynamic that I had with my dad. I was always too unique or different, and my dad thought there was something wrong with me. I would dance when I was 3 or 4 and people would enjoy watching me. I was also a big fan of Gloria Trevi, a grungy Mexican singer, and I would put a towel on my head and start singing her songs to everyone. Obviously, my dad was concerned. My mom always was proud of my uniqueness and that I wasn't just another cookie cutter baby, but she didn't like how my dad would sometimes give me the Hank Hill "that boy ain't right" vibe.
As I grew up, I think I changed unconsciously for my dad. I tried to be less weird and I began to channel by "otherness" into academics, so basically I became a huge nerd! :lol:
Now that I'm 22, I have a really good relationship with both of my parents. All of my friends tell me that they're envious of my parents, especially my dad. Where I'm from, a lot of people aren't close to their dads. My dad is a really great guy. He has always helped me out and has been an extraordinary role model. Even when he was exhausted from work, he would drive about 3 hours to go pick me up from college so that I could spend the weekend with him and my mom (and he would also drop me off too). He always made sure I had what I needed, even though we are working class. He taught me how to manage my money, fix things, and many, many more things. He is the greatest male role model I can think of, even though it's biased because he's my dad. lol
I've been trying to open up my parents to the idea of being accepting towards homosexuals and bisexuals. When I was younger, they would display contempt against them, thinking it was a sin to be like that. My parents didn't get the opportunity to be educated beyond 8th grade (or high school in Mexico, for my dad), so their beliefs were largely shaped by the church and their own parents. Respectfully, as I progressed along through college, I have been teaching them about how one should shape his/her values with facts and data. As sad as it is to admit, my parents were very ignorant because they weren't afforded the same opportunities that I have been. Now, I feel like I am teaching them to be better critics of absurd beliefs and to be more open-minded. I think they are much more open and willing to accept non-heterosexuality now. I don't think it's exactly where I'd like for them to be, but I think soon enough, it'll be time. Right now, they just seem to think it's "unfortunate" to have a gay son when we talk about it, which is justifiable because they wouldn't want their son to have to be gay in an anti-gay society. I just hope it's not because they still think there's something wrong with being gay.
Also, my mom constantly pressures me to find a nice girlfriend. She knows that many nice and attractive girls have asked me out, and she thinks it's that I'm just too picky. One of these days, I'll be like, "Nah, I'm just gay, mom." With my dad, I really appreciate how he approaches the "girlfriend" talk. He says that I should never feel pressured by anyone or anything to have a girlfriend. He says I should get one when and if I feel like it. He doesn't want to push my sisters and I into marriages that are going to leave us unhappy and unsettled. He knows that he raised strong, independent children and that we don't need emergency husbands (or wives, since he still thinks I'm straight) to be complete. I love my dad. He's the best!
So, for those of us still fortunate to have our parents (or to have had our parents) how IS (or was) your relationship with your parents? Are you close? Were you close? Did coming out (if you have come out to them) change that? How so?
For me, I've always been close to my parents. When I was younger, there was this odd Bobby Hill/Hank Hill dynamic that I had with my dad. I was always too unique or different, and my dad thought there was something wrong with me. I would dance when I was 3 or 4 and people would enjoy watching me. I was also a big fan of Gloria Trevi, a grungy Mexican singer, and I would put a towel on my head and start singing her songs to everyone. Obviously, my dad was concerned. My mom always was proud of my uniqueness and that I wasn't just another cookie cutter baby, but she didn't like how my dad would sometimes give me the Hank Hill "that boy ain't right" vibe.
As I grew up, I think I changed unconsciously for my dad. I tried to be less weird and I began to channel by "otherness" into academics, so basically I became a huge nerd! :lol:
Now that I'm 22, I have a really good relationship with both of my parents. All of my friends tell me that they're envious of my parents, especially my dad. Where I'm from, a lot of people aren't close to their dads. My dad is a really great guy. He has always helped me out and has been an extraordinary role model. Even when he was exhausted from work, he would drive about 3 hours to go pick me up from college so that I could spend the weekend with him and my mom (and he would also drop me off too). He always made sure I had what I needed, even though we are working class. He taught me how to manage my money, fix things, and many, many more things. He is the greatest male role model I can think of, even though it's biased because he's my dad. lol
I've been trying to open up my parents to the idea of being accepting towards homosexuals and bisexuals. When I was younger, they would display contempt against them, thinking it was a sin to be like that. My parents didn't get the opportunity to be educated beyond 8th grade (or high school in Mexico, for my dad), so their beliefs were largely shaped by the church and their own parents. Respectfully, as I progressed along through college, I have been teaching them about how one should shape his/her values with facts and data. As sad as it is to admit, my parents were very ignorant because they weren't afforded the same opportunities that I have been. Now, I feel like I am teaching them to be better critics of absurd beliefs and to be more open-minded. I think they are much more open and willing to accept non-heterosexuality now. I don't think it's exactly where I'd like for them to be, but I think soon enough, it'll be time. Right now, they just seem to think it's "unfortunate" to have a gay son when we talk about it, which is justifiable because they wouldn't want their son to have to be gay in an anti-gay society. I just hope it's not because they still think there's something wrong with being gay.
Also, my mom constantly pressures me to find a nice girlfriend. She knows that many nice and attractive girls have asked me out, and she thinks it's that I'm just too picky. One of these days, I'll be like, "Nah, I'm just gay, mom." With my dad, I really appreciate how he approaches the "girlfriend" talk. He says that I should never feel pressured by anyone or anything to have a girlfriend. He says I should get one when and if I feel like it. He doesn't want to push my sisters and I into marriages that are going to leave us unhappy and unsettled. He knows that he raised strong, independent children and that we don't need emergency husbands (or wives, since he still thinks I'm straight) to be complete. I love my dad. He's the best!
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I don't want to hurt them. They're great parents. So maybe when I find that special one, I'm not gonna hide him. Of course gonna try to soften the plow
