How safe should it be?

[qas]

Hello everyone!
I am not very active here, but I do like reading the topics on this site a lot.
I have something in my mind for quite a while now. I guess this question has been answered a few times already, but I would like to hear personal opinions and especially experiences.

I am single at the moment and sometimes I get into the situation where I get the opportunity to either have sex or have/give a blowjob to a guy. I am very concerned about getting STDs, such as syphillis or herpes etc through blowjobs, so I normally tell them up front that I would like to use a condom. I have made the experience that there is basically no one who is ok getting or giving a blowjob with a condom. It is getting really frustrating to say the least. Everyone is fine with using a condom for actual sex, but a blowjob has to be without.
I know it feels much much better without it... Am I being too cautious? Is the problem here really me and should I relax about this topic a bit more? But how can I make sure that I don't get a disease?
Most of the info sites on the net say that HIV/AIDS is rather difficult to get through blowjobs, but then there are the others STDs, but it seems nobody is concerned about them?!

What are your experiences and what do you think about my thoughts? Any suggestions would be very appreciated
Thanks!

 

[Otage]

Well one thing you can do is to actually get to know the guy better, but if we are talking just about sex, then you can't never be sure who to trust. Many people will say anything to get some action. Best sex is always with someone you know at least a bit, someone you can also have fun with. Pure sex with stranger to my taste is only hot in porn (or really drunk, which is brolly them most dangerous way of hooking up...).

And I've never had blowjob with condom. And you can get flu by touching anything. If one really want sex, I wouldn't let these smaller STD's freak me out from it, these that are curable and so on. I can deal if I get some smaller STD, but I couldn't forgive myself for spreading one. And haven't gotten any, and have had quite a lot of blowjob activity. But on the other hand, if you blow every guy on your way, well, you might just get somenthing.

But if you wanna be sure, you really got to be able to trust the guy or get tests with him. You can die anywhere, anyhow, but the greates mistake I think you can do, is not to live at all because of fear. But in intercourse I would recommend to always use the condom.

And think that do you really wanna just blow a guy? Personally for me that would be pretty much nothing. I mean I want more than that, or his not getting nothing. That was just personal opinnion

And PS. I'm no expert on STD's, I just try to live to the fullest without being too stupid. Always use condom on intercourse, and sex without fun is just sex, no fun. I'm no blowjob machine

 

[qas]

Thanks Otage!
I guess I actually should relax a bit with that then. I normally always want to get to know the guy a bit before, so I should pretty much rely on my instinct and see if he is trustable. I guess I will keep my condom-only policy if it ever happens to be a stranger/ hookup scenario. But if I know the person a bit, can talk with him about this and he does seem trustable and doesn't have any major signs of STDs, it would be okay to have some fun

And yeah, I never had a blowjob without going further, haha. Its just that sex with condom is no issue, but blowjobs are.

If anyone has another opinion about using condoms for blowjobs, I would really like to know!

 

[Sinnerr]

There is a difference in ways of transmission. HIV can be transmited by certain body fluids - blood, sperm, vaginal fluids (or from mother to child) thats all (transmission of gonorrhea is same). Syphilis and herpes can be transmitted by contact "skin - skin" too. So condom is not 100% protection (as it doesn't cover whole body). You better find buddy who is to be trusted and doesn't have suspicious rush on his skin...
Danger of transmission of HIV by oral for recieving partner sex is lower than through anal. Potential danger is bleeding in mouth, even very small bleeding - after using dental thread or cleaning teeth (not to mention freshly extracted teeth or so). Sore throat is also danger if you swallow. Otherwise it should be ok stomach acids kills HIV virus.

 

[Urban]

Everyone is different, but we all need to find our own balance between sensible precaution and irrational fear. I'm not in any way suggesting that your fear is irrational, only that you should educate yourself as much as possible and then act accordingly.

As both Otage and Sinnerr said above, it's impossible to shield yourself totally from danger, so you have to figure out where you want to draw the line between sheltering yourself from life and living it with wreckless abandon. We all make that decision countless times, and we all make it on our own terms.

Personally, when making decisions about medical issues, I rely on the latest advice from medical experts.