I graduated from college.

[SfUncutDude]

(if this doesn't belong here, please guide me in the right direction)

No, this is not a post about me asking people to congratulate me (although that would be nice, )

Anyway, I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

I was in college 5 years. During my 3rd year I enrolled in a class where the professor who taught it was really hot. He caught my attention. I was attracted to him, but I guess this is not abnormal. Around that time, I was also asked to find a major advisor as soon as possible. Not surprisingly, this hot professor I liked was a major advisor, so I chose him.

Anyway, that was 2 years ago. I saw him like once or twice a semester just to get a piece of paper signed that said I met him and I could now enroll in classes for next semester. Although coming to his office was "exciting", i didnt make much of it, until my last year.

It was then when he started to ask me to come more often to his office. I did. This way, I got way more comfortable with him to the point that I told him I was gay, without him asking. To my absolute shock, he told me he was gay too and that if I ever needed to talk about anything I should come to his office. I did. Since I had a class right across from his office, I would come before or after class, sometimes as often as twice a week. But it was not until the last few weeks of the last semester that he started to make "moves", if you know what I mean. He knew that as a student, he could not take me out, but as soon as I graduated, he asked if I was interested in going to dinner with him. To me, this was perhaps the greatest thing I could have heard. This really hot college professor I liked for over 2 years was asking me out.


Anyway, I graduated. 2 days after, we went out to the dinner he invited me. And then everything just went crazy. At the restaurant, he started to talk about things he liked to do during sex. He told me he was a top and liked to please brown skinned guys (omfg). My pulse and heart rate went up in seconds. I immediately told him that we should go to his place. He didnt hesitate.


We got to his place. Watched some TV, and then he ASKED for permission to kiss me. I said yes, and the rest, well, we fucked.

It was, bad. Not a good kisser, he came like 10 minutes into it, it was some of the worst sex I ever had.

But now, weeks later, I feel kind of bad. Remorse, I should say. I mean, it is what we both wanted, apparently, but I feel maybe I acted too soon myself.


Now he wants to go out more. Often calling or texting me to see if I want to go out again. I want to say no, but I can't because I still see him as someone in a power position, even though I am no longer his "student", so I am afraid.

I dunno what I should do. I know I will see him sometime after I say no (if i ever do), when I visit my school again.

Would really like some advice. He no longer has any power over me (as my advisor, he kind of did, since he was a professor too), but I can't get rid of this feeling that he still does.

 

[etilit]

congrats!!!! and maybe you should be honest with him and let him know how you feel lol

 

[gb2000ie]

Have you had your graduation ceremony? If so - he really does have no power over you, if not, I'd hang tight till everything is official - just in case.

Once your degree is safely in your hand, then you need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel, more often than not, when people starting seeing each other it doesn't work out - that's nothing to be a shamed or afraid of, it's just life. When you half-know a person you think you'll get on well, when you really get to know them you often discover you actually aren't compatible. No big deal, be honest and move on.

And of course, congratulations on graduating - always a big achievement!

B.

 

[dvd99]

I guess fantasies don't always turn out the way we expect them...bummer... Guys stop treating the prof like some dictator with power issues. It was never the prof's intention to use or control him. Just treat it like a normal relationship that doesn't work out....

 

[Tjerk12]

Congrats Dude.
The way you write about your professor gives me the idea that he is a decent and nice guy. He never misused power and waited until you both could act on an equal social level. Maybe you should try to see things through his eyes. I don't know from which country you are, but there are still a lot of countries where it is not easy to be a homosexual professor. Could be that he was so excited that he acted as a first time teenager. On the other hand it is possible that he lost the special magic he had being your professor, since you can treat him now as an equal.
Follow your feelings, but I think it would be proper to tell him how you feel.

 

[topdog]

I feel kind of similar to Tjerk12. (Except that if the "SF" in your name means that you are in San Francisco, then I doubt the professor is in the closet.)

This guy really sounds like a gem. You, however, have a problem: you still see him as a teacher / authority figure. That can be a hot role to play, but you can't build a relationship if you abdicate all power to him. You have to find a way to get past that for this to work. So this hiccup is either a deal-breaker, or an opportunity for you to take yourself seriously as an adult who can make their own decisions about love and ask for what they want sexually.

Of course I'm not in your shoes, but maybe he deserves another chance. I mean, everyone can have an off night. Also, don't leave all the "moves" to him - guide him to what you want. Tell him what you want to do differently. This guy is attracted to you, he gets your heart beating, and he has shown you great respect. That's a pretty potent combination.