I love him but i'm not sure...

[ezekiel]

Ok, i really hesitated before writting this here cause usually i don't really like to ask for help. I don't really know why i'm writting this, maybe cause i need some advices and maybe cause i just need to write all this to find the answer.
Well, i don't think my situation is really new and i will try to explain my problem clearly, my english is good but not pefect.

I fell in love with my neighbourg last summer. He live here since a few years now (2 years, maybe 3) and even if we met sometimes, we were just neighbourgs, we just say hello to each others, that's all.
But last july i started to fell in love with him after he showed me some strange signs. You know, that's the kinds of signs that can mean nothing or everything, i can't be sure; that was the way he looked at me, the way he tried to be on my way sometimes...i remembered the way he tried to engage the conversation when we were together in the elevator (that was before i fell in love with him) and some others things.

The problem is, obviously, i can't be really sure he's gay, i can't be really sure he's really in love with me. Maybe i make a mistake.
I tried to find the answer and i barely saw him since the end of last August. Now that the sunny days are back and that we are in holidays, i can saw him almost every day but it's complicated cause i don't really know how i can be sure what i think is right. I have some ideas but i need to see him alone and he is always with his friends.

Recently, i started to feel trapped, blocked, locked inside a dead end; nothing moved, there was nothing new and i just realize i was too careful, that i needed to take some risks. We are quite different, first because he is younger than me, he is barely 18, i'm 26 (even if i look like a 20 years old guy) and usually i don't fall in love with boys under 20 cause you know, it's too complicated. My friends knows i'm gay and some members of my family too but you know, i don't shout it out to the whole world.

In the past years, i didn't really pay attention to these kind of signs boys can give you to let you know they are gay and i made some great mistakes i still regret, that's why i don't want to give up so easily...but in the same time, i don't want to be too confident.
He shows me nothing that can make me think he's straight and i'm quite stubborn, so i don't want to surrender until i'm sure; but this situation make me really really nervous, very testy.

Here is my story, as i told you, another complicated love story. Feel free to react and to say what you want. I think i'm feelling a little bit better now that it's writting here.
Thank you.

 

[Rozas]

I can give NOT GOOD advice ezekiel,
only this picture called "tu es mon mari - tu es mon mariange - tu es mon mariage" and a lot of good luck and hope.

 

[tonka]

Maybe pull back your emotions a bit. Not love ( you don't really know him, as you say) but attraction. Get to know him a bit; let him know you're gay (directly or indirectly).
See what happens.

He's probably too young for a real commitment, but he's a perfect age for some neighborly fun.

 

[bigsal]

I am the last person who can give you advice on how involving the story you told us.

Thanks for sharing it with us.

In the past I almost had a history similar to yours. But I did not do anything.
I've always the regret of not having tried to do something. Perhaps the thing that has prevented me to act was the deep feeling I felt for the guy.

A word of advice I want to give you the same, do not do the same my mistake.

 

[Cerno]

Your problem is u don't know if he's gay or not. It's too risky and too painful. It's better best to forget him. It's not easy but u can't take the risk. What if he's not gay? It's better to fall in love with guys u really know he's gay.

 

[Askani]

Wether u're in love with him or with the romantic possibility, either way it wont go away so easy, he's younger, he's most likely confused as well, both about himself and more importantly about you. You're not sure about his sexuality but is he aware of yours? Before you worry about his signs and what to do about'em, try to get in his shoes and c what he sees in you, what he knows about you, that way the meaning of the "strange signs" he gives you might become easier to understand. Dont forget that you're older too, even if he's interested not only he might be waiting for YOUR signs but he'll also be worried about getting exposed and such. Work on your behaviour around him first I can imagine the tension in the air when u're around each other but that's all u can do for now.
*cough* looking forward to updates *cough*

PS. I'm in a similar situation myself so hang in there!

 

[ezekiel]

Thank you very much everyone for your reactions, your opinions and your advices.

I know IF he's gay, he's a beginner, that's why i'm careful and that's why i don't want to try anything when he is with friends, i don't want to bother him.

Tonka is right... you do not LOVE him, you're physically attracted to him... there's a world of difference between being in love and having physical attraction...

You're right but don't you think love is physical attraction first.

Your problem is u don't know if he's gay or not. It's too risky and too painful.

i didn't fell in love with him just like that; if i had no "proof" he could be gay, i wouldn't waste my time of course, i'm not completely stupid. But when i think about what he did sometimes in the past when he was close to me, i just can't stop thinking there is something strange.
Well, it's still complicated and i'm still quite nervous but you really helped me guys, i will let you know if there is something new.
Thank you.:heart:

 

[Cerno]

i didn't fell in love with him just like that; if i had no "proof" he could be gay, i wouldn't waste my time of course, i'm not completely stupid. But when i think about what he did sometimes in the past when he was close to me, i just can't stop thinking there is something strange.

But u're still intrigued by him, aren't you? if u think too much of him, it can turn into sexual/romantic obsession. So it's really best to forget him.

Btw Im single and looking :thumbs up:

 

[Sinnerr]

Physical attraction is not love. But it's necessary part of it. I've never known nor heard about couple what get together from any other reason than their physical attraction to each other (well, maybe in some cultures is ussual that father sells his daughter, but it's other story). If you could get near to him as a friend, maybe you could try it. If you aren't sure if he is gay, then think if you don't know someone who knows him better than you (if you are neighbors, it's not impossible).

 

[Askani]

Hmmm that would work if he can risk exposing himself that much, but as u guys said, attraction isnt love, can lead to it, but might never get that far either, I forgot about that possibility too, relationships are so messy when the other person doesnt jump in first >.<

 

[Rozas]

Thank you very much everyone for your reactions, your opinions and your advices.

Well, it's still complicated and i'm still quite nervous but you really helped me guys, i will let you know if there is something new.
Thank you.:heart:

Do not forget Ezekiel : t'his is HEAVEN:thumbs up:

 

[gottaloveblue91]

follow your heart man. thats the only way!!!

 

[Askani]

follow your heart man. thats the only way!!!

Hahaha... that's also what gets us in trouble with straight guys and @holes sometimes xD we have to be careful xD

 

[alexfot55]

Beautiful torment you're messed up with !