i need advice on coming out

[mjm1091]

i am 23 a christian and in the closet. i feel like the christian inside me is saying you shouldn't be this way. this is not right. but my heart is saying you can't help it. i have had a girlfriend. it did not feel right. when we would kiss, i would not be into it. i felt like i HAD to kiss her. we broke up after a few months of dating. i am attracted to guys. i have always had "girl"friends but always felt uncomfortable around guys. one of my coworkers asked me if i had a date for valentines day. i said no. he asked me if i had a girlfriend. i said no. he then asked me if i had any guy-friends. i said none that live in cali. that's the closest i have come to coming out. a couple weeks ago he asked me so you're straight? and i said rather quickly, yes. i said it too quickly. he dropped it after i said yes. i work in a clothing store and i love shopping, fashion, i know more about clothing brands than most of my male coworkers. i cant i need advice on how to come out. i feel like i am keeping my self from love by not being true to myself and who i am. both my parents have found porn on my computer. gay porn. my mom has asked me when she's found it if im gay and i've said no. i'm in denial. i have a feeling that if i tell her she wouldn't be surprised. but i don't know what to do. i work with a lesbian. and i was thinking about asking her what to do. but i have a coworker who will spread any rumor she hears like the plague. upside is they don't know i'm gay, but everyone knows what that she's a lesbian. so the dating thought is at least defendable. What do i do? Help! Please!

 

[Mamah]

Dear friend, one thing to bear in mind is, going from what you write, some of those you mention will already believe that you are gay. Like your mom, & the friend who asked you about a date on Valentine's day, & the gay-girl (lesbian) you work with. They probably worry about you, thinking you haven't accepted yourself.
I'd suggest talking to your lesbian co-worker first, if you think she's reasonably OK. Then maybe your mom & the other friend who asked you about a Valentine's day date. If you then feel OK you can let others close to you know in a natural way.
Then you'll be true to yourself and will be a gay Christian, which is good ( in my view) as Jesus taught compassion, universal love & not harming others. He didn't teach people to be prejudiced & hateful.
I hope things work out OK for you. :heart:

 

[richym]

Hey mate, I feel your pain. It is tough to live as a Christian and have to be gay. But do you know what, God creates each of us, and he has a purpose. And so if God made us gay, who are we to say that we should be something else.
Mind you having said that, I am married to a woman, because I hoped all the gay feelings would just go away. They don't and life is just really tough. So the first thing is to be happy with who you are. It is too dificult living a lie the whole of life. (I have a talk by a gay Christian looking at what the Bible really says about homosexuality, if you would be interested. He suggests maybe we have misread things).
Next I think you know that people who will help and support you and accept you, just as the wonderful person you are. Talk to them, open up with them. That will be really difficult I know, but I hope that it will start to give you an amazing freedom.
I will be praying for you, and I hope all goes well.

 

[BugsyB]

mjm1091...what do you want to do?

 

[mjm1091]

@arumbob I want to be free of this secret i have held for so long.
@everyone thank you all so much for all your support. i plan on coming out to my mom first. i am going to do it this sunday. i have been worried about her reaction more than anyone else. if i can come out to her i i think i can come out easier to everyone else. i am going take her out to dinner and tell her then. i plan on writing a letter to her and reading it over dinner. i don't think it will be a surprise to her. i will be talking to my coworker first.

It has been so very helpful to hear from christians and from their point of view. thank you so much.

XOXO. i will post an update after sunday. Thank you all SO MUCH.

 

[XMan101]

Thank you for the post, mjm, although not affected personally it's a question many reading will benefit from

 

[brmstn69]

@arumbob I want to be free of this secret i have held for so long.
@everyone thank you all so much for all your support. i plan on coming out to my mom first. i am going to do it this sunday. i have been worried about her reaction more than anyone else. if i can come out to her i i think i can come out easier to everyone else. i am going take her out to dinner and tell her then. i plan on writing a letter to her and reading it over dinner. i don't think it will be a surprise to her. i will be talking to my coworker first.

It has been so very helpful to hear from christians and from their point of view. thank you so much.

XOXO. i will post an update after sunday. Thank you all SO MUCH.

In all honesty, Mothers ALWAYS know, they may not always except it, but they always know...

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

An't that the truth. They ALWAYS know. I think my mom knew before I did lol.

 

[richym]

mjm, I will be praying for you. I hope it all goes well, and that your mother accepts you wonderfully. You are the same wonderful son that she has always loved, nothing has changed, don't forget that.

 

[BugsyB]

its always best to free ourselves from everything keep strong mjm

did it go good babe?

and yaaaa moms always know thank god for that huh? lol

 

[mjm1091]

@arumbob i haven't told her yet. I am going to do it sunday.

 

[BugsyB]

ok sweetie...hope it all goes good lol

 

[Irishman25]

will be hoping the best for u mate
in my case mum didnt know at all, but me sister did lol

 

[richym]

Hi mjm, how did it go? How did your mum react? I hope all is great.

 

[thedivaprincess]

I hope it went well for you.

 

[mjm1091]

I just wanted to tell everyone that the news went better than i expected. My Mom said she already knew. what a relief! thank you all for your support. i could not have done this without you.

 

[XMan101]

Hey, great news mjm

Really pleased !

Like was said earlier, Mums always know

 

[brmstn69]

I just wanted to tell everyone that the news went better than i expected. My Mom said she already knew. what a relief! thank you all for your support. i could not have done this without you.

I told you so...

 

[BugsyB]

that cool mjm glad it worked out well

 

[richym]

That's great mate. Glad it all went well. I hope that each person you choos to tell is just as warm and accepting.