Interracial Dating/Sex still Taboo?

[lyonhunter]

I bring this topic up after a few of my friends were having this discussion. As a black male, many people assume because I have openly dated more white and hispanic men that I am "turing my back" on my race. Which is not the case to me. I've had my share of sex and relationships with all races and I see it as coincidence have haven't been with many black men. It's definitely not some magic scheme I came up with.

I know in society, interracial dating still makes people (both young and old) cringe and I don't understand why. Some of the most beautiful people in the world are mixed races. The media still makes it appear to be as controversial as it was in the 70's and 80's. Even in the porn industry, some of these men and women look unenthused when they are getting fucked by an ethnic person.

In online sites, I see so many profiles that say "Not into (race) guys. Just a preference, don't hate me". Even worse are the ones who are just looking for a "friend" and they put the same note in their profile! To me, it makes you look like an ass! Yes, we all have our likes and dislikes but what is it about someone's race that makes then sexually unattractive? And what is it about this person's race that makes them not worthy to even be a friend?

 

[Casanova]

I guess it all boils down to preferences, as preferences are developed in time and is based on your upbringing, who you associate yourself with, your personal experience, and many underlying faculties (such as cultural, media), mixed with one's own subjective preference.

The reason I say this is to bring the point that there are many reasons why some people may not want to date/fuck someone of a particular race. Can you explain why some guys prefer twinks, and not bears? Or why people prefer taller guys, or cringe each time they see men with long hair? Or any hair at all for that matter? We can't.

Culturally, race/colour does have some part (not always) to play on what is considered attractive or acceptable. In some cultures it doesn't matter, who you are, or how you look. Whereas in some cultures, people consider interracial sex something to be scorned at. And of course, if you are brought up under these various cultures, who you consider sexy or attractive will in some way fall in line with your upbringing.

For example, in some parts of the US, like around the coasts, you can fuck a black/asian guy and some people won't necessarily be bothered, whilst in the south, there is a greater chance that people may look at an interracial couple with disdain. This could be due to racism, or could be due to the history of racism in those areas.

Consider this, in some eastern, african or caribbean countries, there are people looking for ways to lighten their skin, whilst here, we are looking to get tanned, and we do this because we want to become more "attractive". And even whilst this is done, this still does not say that that person wants to ride the ass of someone of a particular race! As there are many more factors which determine if the person likes a black/asian/white/mixed race man.

And of course, there is racism which could explain why someone just does not even want to be friends with someone who is of a different race.

But to comfort you.. there is ageism, sexism and all these other isms which you have to face with on a regular basis. My advice, ignore the haters! Love yourself, and expect people to always dislike someone for some reason or another, even if the other person cannot help it!

 

[jw4833]

Unfortunately, interracial dating among the gay community is very relevant. Over the years, I have been in situations where although a guy of another race was attracted to me and we had chemistry. However, because of the bashing from their friends and family members, they were forced to move on. Now, this is not to say that all guys are like this because my last two relationships have been interracial and have last for a number of years. But, almost a year ago, I met a guy online, and initially, we had conversed with each other back and forth for the first couple of days and even traded pics of each other. However, he started not responding to my future messages and even went so far to change his profile to say that he was just interested in guys of a specific race. As he went on to name of the races, what was shocking to me was that he deleted my race from his preference. To know that the gay community is under so much turmoil and ridicule as well as judgment, that for racial preference to be a part of the gay community is really startling to me considering what the gay community face on a day to day basis. Like I always say "An asshole is an asshole..color does not have anything to do with it".

 

[zeropolis79]

I'm white myself and all my sexual exploits have always been with white men. I'm by no means against blacks, I would gladly have sex with a black guy, I'd have no problems with it.

 

[Askani]

I'm black and pretty much 90% of all my affairs have been with white guys. Not by choice I have to say, it just seems that I attract a lot more of white dudes. Actually makes me think that the white gay/bi guys are rejecting each other ohmygawd! jk xD. To make things worse, the only black guys that I usually get interested in are married or dating friends of mine so I'm always in a pickle, even if something happen...

 

[obbaobba]

I've noticed a lot of "preferences" on gay dating sites as well, and have to agree with what Gypsy mentioned about they way we are brought up. It's kind of unfortunate that we can't all be brought up in open minded househoulds, but it's just the way things are.

 

[buffpaul]

I am an equal opportunuty nymphomaniac.
Of the 2 or 3 dozen dicks I've enjoyed, about 1/2 were different race
I'm caucasian; brown, yellow, red or beige. As long as it's not GREEN.
Anyways, it's the kiss, it's the passion.
ALL ending in a warm,wet explosion.
WHEW, I need a smoke ! ! !

 

[jeva]

i dont get it either

 

[burstcrutch]

I'm a white guy and have dated guys from other races: it's not a problem or taboo for me. In fact, I really enjoy the racial mix.

 

[Livetoday]

People who date by race are crazy! Iyonhunter have you ever turned down a black guy because he was black? only then, people can criticize you.

 

[json11]

I really don't get the idea of not dating whoever you happen to be attracted to.

 

[nulanula5]

i'm white and i only date black guys... and i dont mean fuck because of the size as it is generally assumed... i dated black guys who had 5 inches as well as i dated white guys who had 9 inches... black guys have completely different personality, are more down to earth and romantic imo... so i stopped dating other races 3 years ago and i dont regret... who i date is my decision and right and i dont care what others say... period...

 

[tubbs]

Black males do tend to be the lowest on the racial preference sheet in user profiles.

People of all races have been trained over the centuries to hate and fear the black male. It's sad but true. Even blacks fall prey to this.

 

[topdog]

When I was in high school, it was a horrible enough time dealing with the gay crap that came down on me during my sophomore year, but I really fell hard for a Mexican boy...
I still cannot believe how nasty, hateful and bigoted people can be. His race never made a difference to me in the least, and quite frankly it didn't even occur to me at the time...

Does race even exist? There's no doubt that racism, hatred, and prejudice exists. But what is (and is not) a race? Is Mexican or Hispanic a race? Some would agree, some would disagree. What exactly makes up a racial difference seems to vary by location - and by time. The Nazi's talked about the Jewish race. A lot of the US used to consider anyone with a single african ancestor to be Negro. (Or as they so poetically put it: "a single drop of negro blood".)

What do you think? Is this in the eye of the beholder, or are there biological differences that determine race?

 

[poshpop]

I'm bi-racial but I dont think it should matter who you date

 

[kai22]

yeah it sucks when ppl's mindsets are so warped

 

[Goro81]

As for myself, I've dated ppl of almost all races... Democracy ftw

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I've noticed a lot of "preferences" on gay dating sites as well, and have to agree with what Gypsy mentioned about they way we are brought up. It's kind of unfortunate that we can't all be brought up in open minded househoulds, but it's just the way things are.

Um, hang on a bit here, there is a big difference between preference and prejudice.
If you tell your white daughter she can't marry a black man because he's black, that's prejudice. If she chooses not to marry a black man because she prefers white men, tha's preference.

Having said that, I must say I find some people's focus on race a bit silly, whether the obsession takes the form of "I don't like blacks" or "I really love blacks". Either way, it's a a way of dismissing the other person as being defined by their skin colour, when there are so many other factors you should consider. I think the same when I hear "I really like blonds", "I really like redheads", "I don't like overweight guys", etc.

 

[tubbs]

The race issue is very complicated and quite frustrating.

 

[Miko14]

I don't mind if a black person wanting to date a person of a different race. However, there are some people that will get out of their way not to date a black person. They seem to always want the "exotic" types.