Is this cheating????

[Shonen]

Hello Guys, been a while since I have been on here and well I could not think of a better place to come to for some advice. Please dont flame me about this. I really going through some tough times with my bf and I really just need help.

Right now I feel I am losing my current bf and I almost broke up with him after a convo we had on monday. Frankly he told me that he did not love me and if he hasnt felt that way yet that he may never. ( we been going out for 6 months) He also said he did not want to break up and he wanted me to know this. I took it as he did not like me anymore well have feelings and told him maybe we should break up then. This made him cry an dhe told me his heart hurts right now and that he does not know what to do. Later the convo turned into hmm accepting what will happen and basically still wanting to be my friend.

The next day I told him I still wanted to date him and not break up.

Now guys thats not the is this cheating part. Right now I feel he only said that because he wants to end it but does not know how to do it with out hurting me. So I was thinking of possibly seeing other guys like not sex but going out on dates. My bf does see us as exclusive but he also sees us as not that serious and I think when I said I loved him that spooked him or something. any who any help is appreciated if you want more background info on me and him just ask .

 

[c750dt]

Might as well move on. If he doesn't care for you, then it'd be somewhat selfish to saddle him down. How quick were you to move into a relationship? Maybe stepping down to "just friends" until you know if he can have more intimate feelings for you would be best. The most common factor I see in bad and failed relationships around me is that not enough time or thought was put in to the initial decisions.

 

[Duanew]

think you need to move on, seems he just wants a friend and not a lover

 

[Shonen]

We never really made it official and i never really asked him out it just happened. Lets see i kissed him the second time we hung out and it was suppose to be just getting to know each other. but we have been together for about 6-7 months.

 

[NightLitch]

Hi Shonen A realy :hug: to you happy to see you

First of all dont count what he say if he upset. Maby hi is insecure what he whant. Tell him that you whant have a boyfriend and that is importent for you and give him some time.

 

[Shonen]

Thanks Nautilus. great to see you again too

 

[jw4833]

Hi Shonen:

I personally think you should move on and start dating other guys. It sounds to me as if he's somewhat confused about if he want to be committed to you. However, after being in your company for the length of time that you've mentioned in your post, I feel that there has to be some kind of feelings there that can be directed to the level of love and this is possibly what is confusing for him to accept. With that being said, move on and date other guys. By doing this, I believe that all will be revealed as to what feelings are really there in your regard. It can go either way, he could get jealous and have to face his true feelings or he could view your moving on as his escape from being with you. Hope this helps you out some...

 

[Shonen]

Yes that does help thanks.

 

[brmstn69]

Is "friends with benefits" an option?

 

[Shonen]

Umm I dont think so brmstn I would like that but I highly doubt that right now.

Just an update. We ended up breaking up last night. We made dinner and as I was taking him home we talked about things and well its for the best. I am not feeling a great loss because he will still be my friend but I am not feeling vengful or angry I feel more at ease and happy.

 

[jw4833]

Umm I dont think so brmstn I would like that but I highly doubt that right now.

Just an update. We ended up breaking up last night. We made dinner and as I was taking him home we talked about things and well its for the best. I am not feeling a great loss because he will still be my friend but I am not feeling vengful or angry I feel more at ease and happy.

That's great news..build a solid friendship and you will never know what the future holds..In fact, now that you are establishing a friendship, you may see through this evolution that he is not the guy for you in a realtioship capacity...Take Care..JW :thumbs up:

 

[ischulman]

go find someone who appreciates you. you want to be dating someone who cant get enough of you, someone who thinks you walk on water.