Just wanted to share

[aman_dig]

One thing about me , I always keep my sexuality preference a secret to my family and friends since I figure it out when i was 14 up until now. They are really close minded about this regardless of their ethnicity and religion. So I keep my best to hide it to the point that I have girlfriends several time just to keep them in the loop. It's hard growing up without a role model and always in thought that I have something wrong inside of me (which now I don't think it is wrong).So to make it a story, my dad walk in to my room asking whether I could take a look with his phone while both of us sitting in front of my laptop with the screen showing one of the GH threads that I was reading. I'm not sure whether he did see it or not as he leave my room with his fixed phone and clearly now I don't know what to think of next. Honestly I really thought this as a very funny situation..
:cheers:

 

[jw4833]

Apparently, he did not see the thread because I believe that if he did, he would have said something to you considering the fact that you've mentioned in your post how close-minded your family members are. No disrespect but you stated that you thought this was a funny situation, considering the close mindedness of your family, what if he did see the thread and went into a fit and rage? I tend to believe that this would not have been a funny situation, it would have been a scared and panicky situation on your part. Therefore, if I were in your shoes, I would look at this oversight as a blessing....Take care, buddy...

 

[bigsal]

It could also be that your father knows what you do not want to let him know.
These situations are quite common in the family and not just for these cases.
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

 

[tonka]

We don't know where you live, or your situation. But Sal's point of "don't ask, don't tell"
rings true.
I grew up in an immigrant neighborhood, many years ago. (Irish American). That was how gay people survived. Be it joining the priesthood, or being the 'bachelor" who never dated girls, you were ok if you just shut up.
That has changed for the better in much of the world. But not all of the world.

You will decide what you need to do. If you need to stay safe and quiet, so be it. If you can move beyond that, so much better for you.

In the current age, it's likely that somebody will find out. (as your story shows us). If that's the case, think about how you want this to be known. An "oops" moment, or a real conversation with the family who loves you.

 

[aman_dig]

Well..It has been week now since that day , either my dad are really good at pretending or he just didn't noticed it. I vote for the second thing just to keep my mind from going mad. To answer that question , I live in Malaysia , good place to live , bad place to be gay. The local government would allow you to be send to a *straight camp* if you are reported by your family. They even at one point ask the teachers from their respective schools to identify gay students so they would informed to the parents , Yikes. I can't wait to leave this place after I finish my study though..

 

[ihno]

And what do they do in the "straight camps"?

 

[Cerno]

Malaysia? Oh I know a lot about Malaysia from gay news site. From full-of-error how-to-spot-gay tips to gays are not included in constitution, Malaysian politicians are really shameless! It inspires me to write a gay novella regarding that. It's called Scripted Love. I also included many real-life stupid homophobic quotes from politicians to make the story sound more authentic. A friend read and she said she wept

And what do they do in the "straight camps"?

There's a camp dubbed as Macho Boot Camp, which is made especially for effeminate boys. There, the boys are yelled at and are forced to do harsh physical activities. It's just like military camp! I read, some child-friendly politicians protested it. But since then, there's no news about Malaysian macho camp.

 

[aman_dig]

Malaysia? Oh I know a lot about Malaysia from gay news site. From full-of-error how-to-spot-gay tips to gays are not included in constitution, Malaysian politicians are really shameless! It inspires me to write a gay novella regarding that. It's called Scripted Love. I also included many real-life stupid homophobic quotes from politicians to make the story sound more authentic. A friend read and she said she wept



There's a camp dubbed as Macho Boot Camp, which is made especially for effeminate boys. There, the boys are yelled at and are forced to do harsh physical activities. It's just like military camp! I read, some child-friendly politicians protested it. But since then, there's no news about Malaysian macho camp.

ooh yeah something like that, and if you weren't send to the camp , they might record you from public places let say a gay couple or a lesbian couple walking together holding hand in a shopping mall (and most close minded people surrounding will look at them with disgust). They would make a doentary out of that and aired in a local government tv showing we live among a so call plague *include some doctor with phd so the show would look credible plus some religious advocates saying the god stuff etc*.
There aren't any news about that since now is a election month or some guerrilla war happen at the east basically politic is the top news and if you can't stand pressure of being judge by people around you , better just keep it to yourself (I sound like a coward don't I..lol).
On a side note , I would love to read your novel if you don't mind.

 

[tonka]

You're not a coward. You're a sensible person who's doing what's necessary. If you can find a way to move on ( by moving away or whatever), so much the better. It will be Malaysia's loss, and some place's gain.
In the mean time, stay safe...and maybe figure out a quiet way to find some like minded friends.