Money and the first date.

[josh_the_hot_boy]

Lets talk about money. More specifically lets talk about the guys on the forum that are super wealthy (you don't have to give your name) and the guys that are flat broke (again you don't have to give your name). Here we have 2 polar opposites.

Let examine the wealthy guys. My question is how far along after you meet a guy should you bring up that you have more money than god. On the one hand some people might only see your platinum card. I tend to think that how much you have and how much you make should not be mentioned to the other person until that person has gotten to know you for you. That way if he likes you you know its not just for your money (cause he doesn't know you have any). So what do you guys think about when to disclose that you have a lot of money?

On the other end of the spectrum (I'm not afraid to say I fall on this end) lets talk about people who have no money. Maybe because their temporally out of a job or what ever the case may be. When is the best time to disclose that you don't really have any money? Is it the same amount of time as if you have lots and lots of money?


So when is the best time to tell someone that you have lots of money or no money? The first date? 3 months in? Give your opinion.

Note I am not asking anyone to disclose their financial situation!

 

[Tjerk12]

I really can’t give a decent answer to this question, because I had the luck that I was born in a country where money is in principle not a condition to survive. I never cared about money and still don’t do. So the subject money would be for me of no importance.
However I do understand that elsewhere cirstances can be completely different.

 

[MaximumT]

Difficult to say when. I guess the best answer would be when it feels right. For some it would be sooner, for others it would be later, but definitely not on the first date. Money shouldn't be discussed at all at that point.

Like you've already stated, when you've gotten to know the person and know that he likes you for you. I think that when you've reached that point, the money, for most people, isn't an issue anymore, whether it is that you have it or not.

 

[gb2000ie]

I don't understand the question. Isn't it immediately obvious when you date a guy whether he's rich or not? Does he take public transport, or does he have a chauffeur or a really nice car? Does he wear expensive cloths, or inexpensive cloths? What kind of phone does he have? I think it would hard to make it past the first date without having at least a vague idea where the person you are meeting sits in terms of means. By the time you get to the second, third, fourth date, I think it will be really very obvious!

B.

 

[tonka]

The beginning is one thing. It really gets tricky later.

The rich guy can help the poor boy. Nice place, nice clothes, maybe even school. But he'll want to have control. Pick the clothes, the school, the life.

The poor boy can be relieved of the burden of poverty, and maybe get a chance at a better life. But at a cost.

If there's real love and respect, these don't have to be toxic. But it's tricky.

If it starts going bad.
Rich guy: my boyfriend is ok, but he's not blah, blah, blah. And besides, the new starbucks kid it HOT!
Poor boy: I can't stand my boyfriend, but there's two more years of school. I have to suck THAT cock for two more years?????

Of course, hot chicks have been doing this forever. Maybe they can school us.

 

[MaximumT]

I don't understand the question. Isn't it immediately obvious when you date a guy whether he's rich or not? Does he take public transport, or does he have a chauffeur or a really nice car? Does he wear expensive cloths, or inexpensive cloths? What kind of phone does he have? I think it would hard to make it past the first date without having at least a vague idea where the person you are meeting sits in terms of means. By the time you get to the second, third, fourth date, I think it will be really very obvious!

B.

That may be true, but I guess it all depends on how wealthy this wealthy person is, or how poor he is.
If by weathly, the guy has an empire, a mansion etc. etc. then it may be more obvious but if by weathly the guy is just rich without those things, then it may not be so obvious. It all depends on how the guy carries himself, and if he's down to earth or not. The scale of wealthy and poor is big, a poor guy can be a homeless guy or simply one who has trouble financially due to various reasons. It would then not be so obvious for others to see.
And let's not forget the majority that are somewhere in between.

 

[bigsal]

Many argue that money does not bring happiness.

Others argue that even if you do not bring happiness, help a lot.

In this case both can achieve happiness, but at what cost?

Intriguing question.

 

[work4meus]

I say tell them if you think the relationship is going somewhere and the person is sincere in his feelings for you.

 

[XMan101]

I never ask for money on a first date )

 

[down_the_street]

I never ask for money on a first date )

LOL ... then clearly *we* haven't dated.

Favorite moment: A first date. A movie, and not a good one. His choice. We get to the ticket counter and he says, "Can you buy? I work shitty retail and don't have enough money."

On the bright side -- later that night I did get my money's worth.

But sheesh. The audacity of it.

 

[Sinnerr]

Someone who is richer than most of people can pretend that he is just "middle class". When he want to check out that his potenitional partner really likes him not only his wallet.

In opposite way it's quite unreal imagination. You know If someone tightly pays bills he probably can't go to Michellin Star honored restaurant. Well exceptions may exist:

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

All right I believe I don't have to announce myself with trumpet and fanfare, because I said it before in the board, and some of you knows my real name, I am from a wealthy family and I am wealthy myself and I have no problem saying... it doesn't mean that i'll go write a check to anyone because they believe I should. Because I have a beautiful and young boyfriend/husband I do get that a lot " he's with you because you're loaded", but here is the fun part... although we have things that can give away that we are loaded, Alex doesn't drive his Rolls Royce everyday, our house is big but it isn't a mansion, instead of having just one big house we have 3 across the country and few additional condominium in us and Canada... we do not attend any charities and if I give to a charity I do not want my name to be broadcasted... In short I am not much of a show of the wealth. When I first met Alex he wasn't aware that I had money to support both of us for a good 15 years on a high living profile, I showed it gradually, I know very well that if I were to go broke tomorrow Alex will still be by my side. Because money isn't what drives our couple. It's nice to have but it really not what drives us.

However I do not buy that bullcrap sentence "Money doesn't make you happy", Money may not make you happy but it does help to sooth miserableness. One doesn't need to have a pile of cash to be happy, a good financial management that's all you need, get what you need not what you want.

So on to the question, if you are loaded, yes it does show whether you want it or not, and no being rich isn't define by the amount of cars you own. Some people may have a lot of asset, but yet doesn't have a penny to their name. Taking par example inheritance, you get a lot of valuables from a family or friend that just died, but you're still turning fries at McDonald.

Despite my wealth and my asset, I still have a normal job, Alex was still as of last year head nurse at the hospital he was working for. We lead a normal life, but we really really don't need to work... since we own many other things such as apartment buildings, model agency, online school and so on and so forth... But that is our choice and our lifestyle. I could buy a yacht tomorrow if I wanted... but that would just be plain arrogance since I don't like the sea that much . Your first date should be spent on finding out if you and your date have similarities in terms of interest, philosophy etc. and that doesn't involve your mutual bank accounts.

 

[name_1]

I think money facilitates the getting to know you part but, after that, the role of money diminishes in its influence at the relationship building part.

There is no real need to proclaim to your first dates you are loaded cuz after a while it naturally shows. (like what the others said earlier on) Also if you are not, there isn't also a real need to proclaim cuz after a while, you will tone down on the high class places and go to more regular places for dates (though it should have started out at the regular places )

 

[topdog]

Lets talk about money. More specifically lets talk about the guys on the forum that are super wealthy (you don't have to give your name) and the guys that are flat broke (again you don't have to give your name). Here we have 2 polar opposites...

I don't think I agree with this at all. The amount of money in the bank does not change a person's character or personality. The only point where money would be a factor is in deciding where to go out for the evening. If a date suggests jetting to San Francisco for dinner, I would have to say that I can't afford that - how about someplace closer? If he were to say that was no problem because he has a private jet waiting - well, great! California, here I come! Otherwise, we scale down to something we are both comfortable with.

Other than that, it seems like the problem isn't cash - it's the perception you have of people that either have, or don't have, money.

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

I'm not saying that a persons personality is based on how much money they have. I was merely asking that if you have a lot or next no money how do you make sure they a person sees you for you and not how much money they have.

 

[gb2000ie]

I'm not saying that a persons personality is based on how much money they have. I was merely asking that if you have a lot or next no money how do you make sure they a person sees you for you and not how much money they have.

I avoid shallow people who judge my by my dress, my gadgets, or my money.

There are rich ass holes, there are poor ass holes, there are well dressed assholes and there are poorly dressed ass holes. Similarly, there are really nice rich people, poor people, well dressed people, poorly dressed people, and so on and so forth.

There really is not link between how much money you have and how you treat people. If you're the kind of rich bastard who tries to use his money to trap a poor kid, you'd be the kind of poor bastard who'd look for a rich guy to blackmail.

I really don't care about money, and I really don't have time for anyone who judges me by how much or little of it I have.

For the record, I'm neither rich nor poor, I don't own a car or a house, but I have some of nice tech instead.

B.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I was merely asking that if you have a lot or next no money how do you make sure they a person sees you for you and not how much money they have.

One can never be sure, there's no signs. I am as described by GB "a really nice rich person" but I can also turn into "a very nasty rich son of a bitch" if I have the feeling that I've been used. In my case I am not on the prowl so I wouldn't be able to say how I would detect that someone is after my cash because the guy I am with his after my dick lol (not my cash) and gradually I shared my wealth with him giving him bounds and right to the wealth... but he never asked for it and didn't really assume I would do it for him and I didn't just give him a deed to my houses right of the bat, it took time. I am a natural gift giver, I love giving gifts (but I'm not buying friendship either). The life I choose as a rich dude is simple, I own a lot but doesn't show a lot... you'd be renting an apartment in my building and you would not even know that I own the whole fucking block even though we have known each other for years. That's how secretive I can be about what lies in my bank account. And my parents did not provide for me I built my own wealth... what I had from them is the right attitude to successfully manage my business and my finances...