my life in general...

[ILuv2rim]

I sit here thinking about life--my life--over the years I had sex sex and more sex--then I came out then all my friends scattered like roaches scatter when turn on the lights-- as I get older I picked up new friends just to realize they weren't friends for real..they just used me to play games borrow games movies cd's and when I decide to say hey if cant come over without wanting to borrow something--don't come over---hmm they quit coming over--

worked at a place for 13 yrs got fired then I learned my co workers weren't my friends either--one said we were friends talked some even hang out with each other one day now he has a girlfriend and no our friendship is dead-he called me asking if borrow some movies I said no and told him why--he said stupid faggot and hung up on me


now I am trying to find a job and 90 percent applications want you to put 3 references not family and I have none to put--what is a guy supposed to do--


the last few months has been rough looking for a job even my mind is going through a lot because of losing my job and realizing my friends weren't my friends that I feel like no one and nothing and thought about swallowing a bunch of pills--but haven't-I feel so full of anger but also want to cry over the simplest things --I am on meds for anxiety and social anxiety disorder but never went to meetings or psychologists to talk things out but no job no money no health care--I don't exist to the medical profession since I have neither money or insurance what am I supposed to do for help--

I figure time will mend and help me get pointed in right direction but I feel like I am at the end of the road--anyone else feel same way?you get help for it?

 

[topdog]

Time does mend some things - grief, loss of a love - and puts other things in perspective.

But time doesn't heal isolation; you have to do that yourself one step at a time. There are free groups for people looking for a job to encourage each other. That could be a start. And you are opening up here - that's another step. Keep going. The people that survive are the ones that ask for help and reach out. If you close the door and lock it, help can't get to you.

 

[joelr]

Wow you're going through a really tough patch. I don't think I can solve your problems, but this is what I can tell you: your self-worth comes from you, and only you. It's not about what other people think about you or how they treat you. You can still carry yourself with dignity, and find appropriate friends. There might be LGBT groups, single groups, or church groups that you can join for friends.

 

[Mardo]

Establish a little routine that you feel able to do. For example if you don't have a job, create a six-hour slot on your daily diary where you are active. Do a one hour brisk walk to a library and study what really interests you. Stretch your legs to get there, and then stretch your mind while there.

It's free. The social anxiety might make it hard to mingle and socialise, but as you walk along the path you are alone. In a library you are left alone to read and your space is respected. So you might feel up to such a routine.

Then, when the six hours are up, all the rest of the time is yours. Play video games. Whatever you want. If you have an active 'chore' period, then you will enjoy your time outside of it ten times more.

Try it for a month. Stick to it. Make a plan for those six hours. Pick your times, e.g. 10-4 with an hour for lunch. Take Sunday off.

If you cannot get a job, and/or the social inhibition makes it seem too much to take on, create a similar work-type routine to follow.

 

[Mardo]

Wow you're going through a really tough patch. I don't think I can solve your problems, but this is what I can tell you: your self-worth comes from you, and only you. It's not about what other people think about you or how they treat you. You can still carry yourself with dignity, and find appropriate friends. There might be LGBT groups, single groups, or church groups that you can join for friends.

Wise words. But hard to follow!