How old are you?, cause after reading your words I think you don't need to change your name, but you need some kind of emotional, affective, help.
If you want people take you seriously please, be less egocentric, frivolous, shallow and childish. It's a pity, but I think you seem a caricature of what homophobic people think gay people are. In your words there are so many clichés that I even thought you are a troll...
Seriously, you need help, my friend.