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"normal" weight and weight-related stuff

noone88

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I actually started thinking about this when I saw AleXXX UK's topic about body types and people's preferences about them. Where do people draw the line when someone says something along the lines of "could you feel attracted towards overweight people"?

So, basically what I'm asking is, how fat has someone got to be for you not to be interested in him? Might be rude, but I can't put my thoughts into other words :D. I myself am a bit overweight (I think? 180cm and 85kg) and, frankly, I wouldn't want to be with someone who is bigger than me. He can be bigger in a muscular way though :p. I don't consider myself to be shallow person either who just wants guys who look like models. Overweight is a bit of an issue to me, I guess.

So, dunno if this makes any sense, just tried to voice my thoughts.
 
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XMan101

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Weight is not an issue with me, never has been. I like people, and the personality always attracts me more than the body - except in porn obviously :p But that's just fantasy, reality is very different & I think differently in the real world ;)
 

Whisper

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Hey, another Finn :D

And back to the question... For me weight haven't been such a big issue ever. My bf was 185 cm & 100 kg when we started dating about 16 years ago and I was basically just skin and bones myself (no, not because of diet!). Nowadays he is about 75-80 kg, he looks good but I'm worried because in his mind he is still overweight X_X
 

RefixnarcisM

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I doesn't mind have a big measurement people as a friend. But for a lover I can become that strict. Since I strict to myself about body or mass measurement also.
 

kateean2

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Wow its good thread!
 
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Rebel7

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I feel comfortable in my skin although I'd like to gain 2-3 lbs (I'm 5 feet 12 and weigh 147 lbs)!

I gravitate towards personality and mind for a date..someone who's fun to be around with, spontaneous, enjoying every moment together...also now and then in for a discussion about deeper stuffs in life before we can have marathon sex! :devil:

p.s: noone88 don't let this be much of an issue, peace of mind is precious possession in this world..enjoy life buddy! :)
 

noone88

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Hey, another Finn :D

And back to the question... For me weight haven't been such a big issue ever. My bf was 185 cm & 100 kg when we started dating about 16 years ago and I was basically just skin and bones myself (no, not because of diet!). Nowadays he is about 75-80 kg, he looks good but I'm worried because in his mind he is still overweight X_X

Yeah, I have a friend who was 175cm and 95kg, he's about 82kg now and still says that he's somewhat fat (he works out so he's mainly muscle all around lol). I lost 15kg during last and current year so I think that contributes to my preferences...

And Rebel7, I had no idea about "your people's" units so had to google. Damn you're slim :D. Although one of my friend has a friend who is 6 feet 4 and weights 130 lbs, I think that's a bit unhealthy already...
 

Otage

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Have to admit that, if somebody is too overweight it doesn't really help his chances in getting me to like like him. But the most important thing I guess is the persons own personal mental well-being. Overweight people can be active and healthy, same as thin. And too much muscle is also overweight:D
 

AleXXX UK

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I can't remember the exact stats but the average male is quite overweight. It's hard to judge people by their size. Some have faster metabolisms than others. I also tend to find over weight people quite jolly and friendly, the kind you wanna be friends with. Porn can be very distorting but I think natural people look more attractive than super buff or skinny. Definitely prefer a little more than a little less
 

MaximumT

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Apart from pathological states,
a bit of all for me,
the people, personality, face, common interests, pleasant to be with, a handsome body......and
"peace of mind"....:)
For myself I can say there where times when I did no sports and smoked a lot I feelt unconfortable with 1,80 meters (5 feet 11) and 85 kg (187 lbs).
With endurance sports and "eat all but only half of it" i went down to 65 kg (143 lbs), which was too little for me, so I decided two years ago, after I quit smoking, to gain wight (which oftern happens after quitting smoking) by muscles and not by fat, so going since two years regulary to the gym besides my endurance sports. I have gained about 10 kg (22lbs) mostly muscles in these two years, so now I feel well with 75 kg (165 lbs).
Its really very individual I think.

Those 10 kg really made a difference!

I find this a difficult question. Attraction is so complex, that it's hard to say whether you'd be attracted to a person considered to be overweight or not. You have to have the whole picture before you can say anything, but on the other hand, I do think I would have a hard time finding an obese person attractive, but overweight... who knows. Depends in what way and how he is. Like said before, there's more than just looks, and if you find a guy that's terrific in many ways, then I don't think a bit of a weight problem would matter. :)
 

Tjerk12

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There are in fact two situations. You have the real world and there is the world of illusion. In the real world it is important that you are able to love yourself, accept the way you are, because that is all there is.
Porn is like having a dream, it is illusion. In dreams everything is possible.
Modern technology can create the danger of getting confused. Dreams can be more and more organized. Reality and illusion get mixed up in a way that it becomes difficult to accept reality anymore. And flee in illusion is dangerous, because the basis for life should be reality.
I am bisexual. My igniters for sexual attraction differ for men and women. For women I feel attracted by elegant types like Ingrid Bergman or Audrey Hepburn. My gay triggers are totally different. Young; long hair; sparkling eyes; big mouth and thick lips; slim athletic body; and a butt like a ballet dancer. Absolutely no need for elegance; but hot passion is all that counts, so very sex orientated (Mick Jagger can open his big mouth like a Hippo, OMG that is so sexy).
For some strange reason I am doing rather well by the ladies (even the ones that are a lot younger). But all my gay wishes are in fact outdated for me. I am far too old for demands like that. I am really happy with contacts that do not fulfill my primary demands. And being realistic I must admit that all my life I had to make a lot of compromises on those points. It is rather difficult to ask what you cannot offer yourself. And I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with that. It made me learn to love myself, the way I am. Now I am one of my dearest friends.
But on the other hand it is marvelous to create my dream world here on Gay Heaven. Drift away in delicious thoughts. Be a young God for some moments. And no bad feelings about reality when I wake up, despite some overweight and other shortcomings!
 

Rebel7

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And Rebel7, I had no idea about "your people's" units so had to google. Damn you're slim :D.

No, we use metric system over here. I just used US measure so that my weight would seem to have a higher value in lieu of 67 kg lol:D
 

tonka

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Tjerk writing about the world of illusion rings true to me. I am very glad I had some real time with men before the era of porn reality became so dominant.
That's not reality. Real men with real bodies are not so perfect, but they are way more real. If you're waiting for a Belami boy, you're missing out on what's right there in your neighborhood.
In terms of weight, I've always liked a fit body. Some guys are big and fit. Some guys are just hot...belly and all.

And then there's the gay bear culture. I've never gotten into it, but I admire it. They're big, thry're hairy, they don't give a fuck. They certainly seem to have fun.
 

shannon

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Ditto

Same here, big is big but big is big,,
 

Sk8erBoiZach

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I think people are toughest on themselves. I started going to the gym since age 13, and at 18 I miss the thin legs i had at 13 to 15 so i try everything i can to not work too much on the legs. Im fairly toned i'm 6'1 and 155 pounds, 7% body fat but i have fairly shapely legs because i did run track for 2 years. anyways back to the topic, i would not be interested in someone that doesn't put in the same effort as me to stay in shape, and i think they wouldn't feel comfortable around me naked if they were super overweight. I mean everyone is shallow no matter how much you express it, at the end of the day no one goes to the gym to get smarter....
 

Sk8erBoiZach

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Tjerk writing about the world of illusion rings true to me. I am very glad I had some real time with men before the era of porn reality became so dominant.
That's not reality. Real men with real bodies are not so perfect, but they are way more real. If you're waiting for a Belami boy, you're missing out on what's right there in your neighborhood.
In terms of weight, I've always liked a fit body. Some guys are big and fit. Some guys are just hot...belly and all.

And then there's the gay bear culture. I've never gotten into it, but I admire it. They're big, thry're hairy, they don't give a fuck. They certainly seem to have fun.

I dont think a Belami porn star's body is that hard to maintain....plus some of them have really terrible skin issues. i think also people have a good idea of what they look like, you tend to approach the people you think will like you back, so even if your are really attracted to someone but if your not nearly as fit as them chances are they wont be interested so you go for people in your own "league" i guess. Not trying to sound rude but thats how reality is.
 

tonka

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Not that hard to maintain a Belami boy body?
Wait till you hit your thirties, kid.
 
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SimplyJakeAndAlex

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To be honest I don't find any Belami boys to be that attractive (Beside Ion Davidoff and my forever cutie Johan Paulik), they look too superficial in my liking, sure it's nice to look at but if I had a choice between my Alex & Liam I'd choose those two over Belami dudes anytime. Now sure Alex used to be a super model, having pretty much the stature of Francisco Lachowski dude, but Alex is real, he's not some over make up dude for which beauty seems to be the only things he has, he has brain, natural charm that I cannot find in most Porn star models. Perhaps it is because I have been delusionalized for having been in the business myself, but none of the porn stars actually does much to me. They are just fantasy, a fake representation of what a "real" man should be. I am myself considered to have a perfect body (at 36 I have nothing to envy those dudes) but what separate me from those models is that I am available, I am real, so are my two lovely boys.

In my case I don't know what is it to be fat, the only time I had a belly it's before I was adopted by my parents and that belly was the result of malnutrition. Beside that I always had a svelte and athletic silhouette and it has nothing to do with my years of training in Kung Fu (well perhaps a little lol), my metabolism just happens to burn fat and sugar at a real fast rate. Low blood sugar is the perfect disease to stay thin and fit... but that come with a price LOL.

On to the subject I don't know what is to be called "normal" since to me a over-buffed dude isn't normal, a very skinny dude like so many so-called twinks today isn't normal either in my opinion. Someone that can balance their weight to their average healthy weight (versus their height) is what I call the average normal weight which marries their morphology. So what if one has a belly, if the dude take good care of himself, smell good and has the right attitude I will sure oversee the love handles or the belly or even man boobs :). Obviously it also comes down to my personal taste body wise, I do prefer someone that has a similar morphology than mine, but back in my days as an escort I would not refuse a dude calling me for services because he had love handles, few additional pounds or man boobs... life isn't a movie set; those Belami models are thoroughly selected based on very specific male standards that are far from reality. I was selected because of my body, young face (few years ago lol) and my above average dick that was able to get hard on command no regards to whether the dude I was paired with excited me or not.

So when I look at those new models and new twinks I honestly don't feel as much excited than seeing a amateur jerking off on its cam from its bedroom or living room, reality is what excite me, settings from porn movie doesn't get me at all. I know it's fake, I know it's directed and that's the part that I don't like. So give me a dude with a belly jerking off from his computer chair at home will excite me more than a studio dude for which pretty much everything is calculated just like a Ballet choreography.
 
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Sinnerr

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Normal figure is nidividual thing. Everyone has some genetical predispositions - haritage from parents. Of course sport makes a lot and everybody should do something if not for attractivity, so at least for health of blood circulation system, musculoskeletal system, etc... But always there are "variations on the theme".

I would say It's possible to maintain good figure in older ages. I'm not old enought to say it from my own experience, but I remember one Physical Education teacher from high school who had really perfect body in his late 40s, even better than 2/3 of people has in their late 20s.
I think it's about solid basics from youth and next permanent complex training.
 
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