Not comfortable with a selfie freak!!!

[jw4833]

Hey Guys:

I like to get your opinion on a situation that I've been encountered with. Around the Memorial Day weekend, I met a guy who seem to be pretty nice but then again..that is what most guys are at that initial stage of meeting them. Anyway, as time progressed, I began to learn a lot about this guy and one thing that stood out of all that I've learned that drew a big concern for me was the fact that he post a lot of selfies on various social media sites on a daily basis. Due to the fact that I am a very private person especially with whom I'm involved with and I am not a fan of being involved with someone who tends to post pictures of everything that goes on in their personal lives. For example, his selfie taking had gotten so extreme that he had pictures of him taking while sitting behind the driving wheel of his car or if he was at a restaurant or shopping or even lying in bed or cooking food....a selfie was taken of all that occurs in his life.

Over the weekend, he made the attempt to take selfies of me because he wanted his media friends to see who he is spending time with. Nonetheless, I asked him kindly not to do so because I did not want pictures of myself posted on social media. Later on, he asked me why I did not like posting selfies on social media? I explained to him my position on that topic, he gave off the impression that he understood where I was coming from. However, the next day, I began to get curious about this guy and decided to Google his name and to say the least, I discovered several social media sites that he was registered with and all of them had different pictures of himself and others that he is/was acquainted with. He had over 400 to 500 pictures of a few of them and to be honest, I was glad to find these accounts because they help tell certain parts of the story that this guy did not share with me such as; he recently broke up from a boyfriend for over five years and although he had informed me that this was a really bad relationship for him, he had very recent pictures of them hanging out together on several occasions including his recent birthday celebration dinner with just the two of them.

All in all, all of this just brought up all kinds of "red flags" for me and whatever feelings of like that I have gained for him had dissolved immediately. Therefore, I came to the conclusion to not continue the pursuit of getting to know this guy further. So...with all being said...what do you guys think about my decision?...As always, thanks so much for taking time to read and respond to my post...:big hug:

 

[james1981]

I'm like you jw4833. I don't like posting lots of photos of myself on social media so please keep that in mind when you read on.

My answer to your question is a waffly one. What you've described certainly does raise some red flags. On the other hand, some people - and I do have friends like this - are very extroverted when it comes to social media and don't think twice about sharing anything and everything, including lots of photos. So taking lots of selfies could be a sign of some kind of maladjustment or it could quite simply be a personality trait that is different from ours (not better nor worse, just different). It's difficult to say.

I would say if he respected your request to not be a part of any of his selfies and if he didn't push the issue after you explained your reasoning, he may just be the type of person that enjoys this type of online sharing activity. However, if he continued to try to take photos of you or tried to guilt you into appearing in his photos, that would certainly be a red flag.

Having said that, you also have to look at how you feel about the situation. Are you going to be annoyed with someone who is constantly snapping and posting photos, even if you're not in them? Is that something that's going to get on your nerves? Or does what you found online make you uncomfortable? Those are perfectly valid reasons not to pursue this further.

 

[ihno]

A good decision. I won't work. Even if there was no ex-boy-friend or something, this selfie thing would only cause constant arguments and annoyance so you would break up anyway.

 

[jw4833]

I'm like you jw4833. I don't like posting lots of photos of myself on social media so please keep that in mind when you read on.

My answer to your question is a waffly one. What you've described certainly does raise some red flags. On the other hand, some people - and I do have friends like this - are very extroverted when it comes to social media and don't think twice about sharing anything and everything, including lots of photos. So taking lots of selfies could be a sign of some kind of maladjustment or it could quite simply be a personality trait that is different from ours (not better nor worse, just different). It's difficult to say.

I would say if he respected your request to not be a part of any of his selfies and if he didn't push the issue after you explained your reasoning, he may just be the type of person that enjoys this type of online sharing activity. However, if he continued to try to take photos of you or tried to guilt you into appearing in his photos, that would certainly be a red flag.

Having said that, you also have to look at how you feel about the situation. Are you going to be annoyed with someone who is constantly snapping and posting photos, even if you're not in them? Is that something that's going to get on your nerves? Or does what you found online make you uncomfortable? Those are perfectly valid reasons not to pursue this further.

Thank you James 1981: I appreciate you taking time out to read and respond to my post. Yes, I do feel uncomfortable with a lot of what I've seen him post on various social networks. Yes, from time to time, he did try to pursue the issue of taking selfies of me despite the fact of knowing that I'm uncomfortable with it. For instance, he posted a picture of himself looking very pissed off about something. I could not help but wonder ...who took the picture because he was behind the driving wheel of his car . Whatever and wherever he is in his daily life, he takes selfies and then post them. This kind of behavior for me tends to perceive that nothing is really considered as a private matter to this guy.:no:

 

[dargelos]

In affairs of the heart, instinct or gut feeling is all you have to go on. Love is not about logical choices, its all about emotions. So if instinct is warning you this guy is going to turn into trouble, trust that instinct. Everybody has a bad habit, there are much worse things to be addicted to than looking at photos of yourself, but he does sound immature. He will in time grow out of this obssesion, while that's happening you would have all the work to do in the relationship. If you think he's worth it you're right, if you think he isn't worth it you're right, your heart will answer the question.

 

[james1981]

He will in time grow out of this obssesion, while that's happening you would have all the work to do in the relationship.

Don't be so sure of that. The timing of this article couldn't be better: What in the world is going on with Tony Clement and his selfies? Tony Clement is the President of the Treasury Board of Canada and apparently an avid fan of the selfie.

 

[gb2000ie]

If you're not comfortable, especially in the early stages of a relationship, game over IMO. No point stringing him along - best to just go your separate ways.

B.

 

[ihno]

Don't be so sure of that. The timing of this article couldn't be better: What in the world is going on with Tony Clement and his selfies? Tony Clement is the President of the Treasury Board of Canada and apparently an avid fan of the selfie.

I think his selfies are funny. At least he has given some thought and is not afraid of irony.

 

[jw4833]

A good decision. I won't work. Even if there was no ex-boy-friend or something, this selfie thing would only cause constant arguments and annoyance so you would break up anyway.

The only reason why I mentioned the ex bf was because of the fact that he talked to me a lot about how unhappy and miserable he was throughout the last few years of their relationship. Now mind you...this to me was none of my business but since he was talking about it, I just took specific parts of those conversations and stored them in my memory bank. Therefore, when I saw the selfies of him and his ex having dinner together especially after the last time he brought him up to me ...it just helped me see him from a different perspective which was not for his well being..but for mine...I also totally agree with you saying that the constant selfie thing would cause a lot of problems for not just me being involved with him...but for anyone that he may try to be with in the near future if they have any morals and dignity for themselves..:no:

 

[jw4833]

In affairs of the heart, instinct or gut feeling is all you have to go on. Love is not about logical choices, its all about emotions. So if instinct is warning you this guy is going to turn into trouble, trust that instinct. Everybody has a bad habit, there are much worse things to be addicted to than looking at photos of yourself, but he does sound immature. He will in time grow out of this obssesion, while that's happening you would have all the work to do in the relationship. If you think he's worth it you're right, if you think he isn't worth it you're right, your heart will answer the question.

Thank you dargelos for responding to my initial post. You're right...we all have bad habits..but when it comes to posting selfies that depicts all aspects of your personal life...to me..is a disaster waiting to happen especially if I am a private individual. Also, this guy is in his mid-30's (36 years old) and I feel at that age for him to be displaying this kind of behavior that apparently he is not very happy with himself which results in him being someone who seeks a lot of attention and also somewhat narcissistic.

 

[noiraud]

In affairs of the heart, instinct or gut feeling is all you have to go on. Love is not about logical choices, its all about emotions. So if instinct is warning you this guy is going to turn into trouble, trust that instinct.

dargelos is right on, IMHO. Regardless of what his hobbies are, if you are uncomfortable around him, stop being around him. As someone once said, "There are plenty of fish in the sea." So, bait your hook, get out there and reel in another one. Best of luck!:thumbs up:

 

[bigsal]

Dear JW,

As always it is a pleasure to read your posts. Especially because they are written correctly and the virtual translator translates them very well.

I no use beating around the words, you know me and know that I like to be direct.

I do not have a respect for those who abuse the use of selfie, but this is my personal opinion and does not want to belittle anyone.

This is the phenomenon and a fashion these times, I think very soon deflates, like other habits of the past.

An Italian proverb says: "appear and do not to be, is how to spin and not weave." A lot of people like much appear, who to be themselves.

As for the opportunity to continue to attend this person, it is up to you to decide, is something very personal.

 

[jw4833]

Dear JW,

As always it is a pleasure to read your posts. Especially because they are written correctly and the virtual translator translates them very well.

I no use beating around the words, you know me and know that I like to be direct.

I do not have a respect for those who abuse the use of selfie, but this is my personal opinion and does not want to belittle anyone.

This is the phenomenon and a fashion these times, I think very soon deflates, like other habits of the past.

An Italian proverb says: "appear and do not to be, is how to spin and not weave." A lot of people like much appear, who to be themselves.

As for the opportunity to continue to attend this person, it is up to you to decide, is something very personal.

Thanks so much your thoughtful words buddy: I'm very comfortable with my decision in regard to putting myself at a distance from him because a day later, I discovered he had pics of some guy stating that he's in love with him and he makes him so happy...therefore, I don't understand why he was making attempts to pursue me???...when these situations occur...I take pride in myself for being smart enough to follow my gut instincts when I sense something isn't right...nonetheless...these antics from these guys does not stop me from being in the company of guys...not all of them are bad...I just believe that the right guy will come when it's the appropriate time comes...:big hug:

 

[bigsal]

...I just believe that the right guy will come when it's the appropriate time comes...

Of this I am more than sure.

 

[W!nston]

The fascination with taking selfies escapes me. It may be too late to put that genie back in the bottle.

Keep looking for a partner and you will find someone who is a natural fit for you