online dating

[wardell]

I swear, trying to talk to a guy on Grindr is like pulling teeth. What is the point of talking to me if you aren't going to try and have a conversation?
I'm not very good at making conversation, but even I know there has to be some give and take, so many times where I've been talking to guys, trying to get to know them, asking questions, trying to keep the conversation going, and they reply back with short or even one word answers, or just say "haha" or "lol" or something.
Why do they never ask me questions? why can't they ever try and have a normal human conversation? I wouldn't mind if it was just one guy, I'd just consider him a dud and ignore it, but it seems to be literally every guy I talk to on there.
It is especially galling when it's someone who is looking for "Chats" or "Dates", especially when they contact me. Why even message me if you don't want to get to know me? I'd expect it from guys only looking for a hookup or whatever, but if you are on there looking for a conversation, how about actually contributing to one?
A guy who started talking to me about an hour ago even has a thing in his profile saying how he hates talking to "dullards", yet he is leaving all the conversation to me and making me ask all the questions.
The worst part is, guys like this make me feel boring and unlikeable, even though I'm the only one putting any effort in, and I take it personally when they just randomly stop replying like this guy has. Which is a shame because he is cute, lives nearby and is a self-confessed geek.
It's just so annoying. Don't message me, get my hopes up, make me put all the effort in and then just fuck off taking any self-confidence I had left with you.
Sorry for the rant, but seriously, fuck these kinds of people.

 

[wardell]

so how do i get someone to talk to me i send messages like "hey how are you? hows your day going?" but no one will respond and the ones that do i get the feeling they don't want to

 

[Stonecold]

I have never used grindr but from what I have been told it is strictly for quick slam bam thank you dude sex. I think you might have more luck on something like match.com

 

[brmstn69]

God, I miss the good old days of smokey bars, glory holes, and cruise parks...

And while I'm at it, let's bitch about these so called cruise apps...

They're bad for the gay community. Young gays are becoming reliant on this technology to find potential partners. Why is this bad?

Because it retards development of one's GAYDAR, that all important 6th sense gay men have developed over centuries of evolution.
While using apps and other tech may make things easier, it only works when both parties are using them. What about all those poor, confused souls who don't have the courage to download such an app? Or worse, those who don't even realize themselves that they are gay? They need someone who can sense in them what they cannot sense in themselves. Gaydar isn't just a tool to hook up with, it's also a useful skill to help guide others. There are so many out there who have no idea what it is that's missing in their lives, they just know something is not quite right. They need others with a well developed gaydar to find them and show them the way.

Like Obi Wan said to Luke, ditch the tech and use the force...

 

[Otage]

Grindr takes time. There are lot of people who look just for quick sex. If you want smth more, then it's not brolly the best place. But with patience you can brolly find someone from there. And Grindr users usually don't wanna chat for long in grindr. I usually take the conversation to Kik etc. I'm gonna try Tinder when I get my apartment sorted. And grindr. And fet others

 

[wardell]

I have tried a lot of others and its kill what little self-confidence I have but its the same on all of them no one will talk if they are online and I send them a message they log off I'm I just that ugly that I scare every one away

 

[Otage]

One can do lot about appearance. It takes time, so better start now. You yourself said, that you are ugly, so in other terms you feel yourself ugly. Person can loose weight, build muscle, treat skin condition, some look better with beard, different hair cut etc.

May sound shallow, but doind smth to feel oneself desirable is ok I think. Sex is better if person feels himself sexy. I've been with few guys who were not handsome on face, nor had good haircut etc. but they had very nice body. And that one guy had actually been owerweight as younger.

You need to boost your confidence, self-esteem. You yourself know what you are not happy about yourself/your life, and you need to figure out what to do to them. Excuses get you know where, and there is no magical pill that fixes everything. If you now would get loving relationship, it wouldn't fix your broplems in long run. They would affect negatively behind the relationship.

And I know it may feel overwelming idea to fix thing when it feels like there is nothing but broplems and failures. You need take one thing at a time. For example exercising: internet is full of tips and programs for home exercising. Once you get that one thing going in a way that it wont need more planning, keep it up and start solving other problem. And that is just example, since you know your situation better. Suggested exercise, since it healthy in physical and mental way, and boosts mood and helps ward of deppression.

 

[wardell]

I personally don't think of myself as ugly but a apparently other people do or they woulnt log off

 

[wardell]

i hate online dating aprently I'm just to ugly to talk to or to hook up with i even posted an add on craiglist and on one will talk to me NOT ONE FUCKIN PERSON and the one preson that dose talk to me will not go out with me then why the fuck have we been talking he messaged me we have a lot in common plus it turn out we met in a store before we met online and we flirted and he found my dating page and we started talking but when I asked him out he said no then why the fuck are you fliting with me bitch so FUCK ONLINE DATING

 

[brmstn69]

You ever notice how you find what your looking for only after you stop looking?:thinking:

 

[wardell]

well I haven't been looking for a long time then why have I not found it. done any one have any advice

 

[brmstn69]

well I haven't been looking for a long time then why have I not found it. done any one have any advice

By your own admission, not only were you not looking but actively avoiding as well. You probably had many opportunities that you did not recognize because you were blinded by your own fears. Now that your confronting those fears you may see what you've been missing.

 

[Dom1]

dont use grindr for dating, its not whats its for, scruff is abit better, but most guys wanto be chased