[OPEN TOPIC]Bisexuality: in the media vs. real life...

[JonnyFantastico]

After seeing the "Are you grossed out by bi porn" thread here, I definitely wanted everyone to have a fair place to speak about it.

When I was younger, I honestly believed that "bisexual" was one of two things: 1. a stop on the way to "Gayville" and 2. a way for the closeted male to have his cake and eat it too, without having to commit to one set sexuality.

However, as I grew older; my views drastically changed. I ended up meeting honest to truth bisexual men and women; people who were genuinely attracted to both sexes, further than just the standpoint of finding the proper hole to stick it into. They really had no boundaries on gender when it came to falling in love, being sexually attracted or anything else for that matter. It honestly gave me a lot more respect for them and made me realize that some people truly do have an attraction for both sexes and that is more than alright for them.

However, as of late, when you hear the term "bisexual"; a lot of people tend to think of someone as Tila Tequila. For all who aren't aware of her, Tila is a model whose claim to fame was being the most befriended person on MySpace. She was able to turn her 15 minutes into two seasons of "A Shot At Love"; where she had 30 suitors (15 male; 15 female) all vying for her attention.

As the show progressed, it was easy to see that Tila wasn't necessarily in it for love. Season one's winner; a male, broke up with her right after the show ended. Season two's winner; a woman, broke up with her on the finale; claiming that she didn't really love Tila and that in turn, Tila had gotten her just desserts for doing exactly what she did to the men and women who truly did fall in love with her (including a blog that explained the true behind the scenes moments of the show and how Tila never allowed the contestants true access to her, but that's neither here or there.)

I guess this open topic is more toward the bisexual members here on the Forum, but of course, everyone can speak their opinion here. What do you consider "bisexual"? To the people who are bi, how has the world (as well as the media) affected your life? If there was a way to give more common ground and acceptance to bisexuality, how would you begin that?

Let's be respectful here. Not everyone will agree, but that doesn't mean we can't all be friends at the end of the day, so let's keep that in mind.

I await your answers and thoughts, my GBP Forum...

Hugs,

Jonny Fantastico

 

[tibbitobbi]

I am bisexual.
That was what i said to mysylf standing in front of a big mirror, few years ago. That was one of themost important days of my life. And the beginning of a totally different perception of love and sexuality.
I accepted that for me personally "love" was no more bound to girls and "friendship" to boys. During the years since then i experienced so many different varieties and combinations of love, friendship and sexuality. Those are the 3 basic dimensions in that i can closer interact with another boy or girl, in case i like him or her. That made me think more and more open minded in so many things in life. I got very open minded in almost everything in the world, i do not longer expect anyone to be anything. So i get surprised quite often ...

how has the world and the media affected my life ... well, i fuckin´don´t care ... especially when it´s about me! The only thing that really affects me ... well, thats myself. I´m not totally free of influences, but i got an open eye on them and i try to figuere out wheter they try to do something to me that i don´t want to.
I just try to be myself and let anyone else be like he wants to be =)

 

[stanyy]

I'm not going to touch this one jonny, as i think we all are bi in some way, but i do love David Bowie's answer when someone asked him if he was gay or bisexual, he said he was "trysexual" he'd try anything once!!!! LOL

 

[TexasGuy]

I'm bi-sexual as well. I've always been attracted to both men and women both emotionally and sexually. I just came to realization that the heart wants what it wants. No more, no less.

I've had long-term relationships with both sexes and they've been wonderful. It's nothing out of the ordinary for me.

It's not important to me how the media or society in general views me or people like me. It's more important how I view myself and how the closest people in my life view me as well.


BTW Jonny, thank you for bringing up so many interesting topics of conversation. I always enjoy your threads.

 

[JonnyFantastico]

I'm not going to touch this one jonny, as i think we all are bi in some way, but i do love David Bowie's answer when someone asked him if he was gay or bisexual, he said he was "trysexual" he'd try anything once!!!! LOL

LOL It's OK to speak on it, Stanyy; no one is going to attack your personal view on it. I've never heard that personal quote from him (although I have heard that term before).

I can respect when people have no boundaries when it comes to sexuality or love. We don't always need a label to express what we feel. As someone said here on the Forum before (in paraphrase), we're all sexual beings and it's not always easy to place it all into one set category. And in today's day and age; as long as your happy and safe (emotionally as well as physically), it really doesn't matter anyway. As long as you can look in the mirror every morning and respect and love the person you see before you, that's all that matters.

 

[XMan101]

Today's age has nothing to do with it, Jonny

We have always been "bisexual" if you need a label. We exist, we are! Simple!

I've always found the most antagonist people are those who can't accept that. Those that can are great and are good friends.

It's knowing yourself in the end, and not dismissing anything. We all play to our stronger feelings, but don't ever disregard the other sex, whatever your preference, because it CAN happen if you love someone.

I'm very much "Bi" and prefer women in person these days, but still look at guys and love gay porn.

We are all so different and we cannot be put into a category, nor should we!!

You ask how it affects me as a "Bi"?

My answer - I'm free!!! Mentally & physically I'm free.

I couldn't give a damn what anyone thinks of me!! It really isn't my problem if i've done them no harm!

I would like to think everyone feels like that, sadly I know it's not possible.

Good subject Jonny

Mike xx

 

[JonnyFantastico]

Great points all around, guys...

Mike (XMan), let me clarify the "today's day and age" comment a bit. I meant it that today, more than ever; there are people who hate or attack others for everything and anything under the sun; skin color, sexuality, sensuality, life style choices, etc. More than ever, people need to love and protect their number one person: themselves. We need more strong people on the forefront of life who aren't afraid to be who they are and even better, LOVE the person that they are completely.

Hate and anger are strong emotions. Love, self-confidence and devotion to being one's self is the way to be that. I applaud everyone who has stepped up and spoken on this topic. This is what I wanted! Keep it coming, guys!

 

[stanyy]

LOL @ jonny, its never easy to understand others, so I think its best to try and understand ourselves first....who are we? what makes us tick? for me that still is an open question..after 43yrs I'm still mystified by myself, and actually I'm not sure i ever want to know LOL

 

[intensepump]

I'm not going to touch this one jonny, as i think we all are bi in some way, but i do love David Bowie's answer when someone asked him if he was gay or bisexual, he said he was "trysexual" he'd try anything once!!!! LOL

stanyy....you used my fav quote...i use it often to explain me.

I REALLY hate reality TV...because it's not real at all...that show in no way represents what it means to be bi. Its about drama queens wanting to get their ass exposed on TV.

I've been married to a woman, engage 4 times to women, been engage to 2 men...and in love more than I can count with both sexes....but never was it about this one str8 or this one gay....I don't feel that way...it's about who the people are, not what sex they are. I fall in love with people, not body parts.

well that's not entirely true...sometime I fall in love with some people's body parts...but that lust..not love..lol..

As a trysexual...I feel sorry for those who let labels limit their possibilities in life...no need for it.

 

[kiddoblivion]

I think it's like Kinsey said, sexuality is a barometer with 0 being 100% gay and 10 being 100% straight. I, for instance, am a 1 on this barometer. With that said I do believe that a very sizeable portion of "bisexuals" are just gay guys who are in denial.

 

[intensepump]

I think it's like Kinsey said, sexuality is a barometer with 0 being 100% gay and 10 being 100% straight. I, for instance, am a 1 on this barometer. With that said I do believe that a very sizeable portion of "bisexuals" are just gay guys who are in denial.

WTF...oh no....you pushed my trysexual Irish button......X(X(

If you're not a bisexual.....then you have no basis or understanding for making such judgments about "What" bisexuals "really are" in denial of.

That is like me saying "Well gays are really just tranny's short of an operation that they are scared to have"
I would never say such an insensitive statement because I am not gay or transsexual and it's not my place to say how gay or transsexual people feel.

I respect other people and their own viewpoint of their sexuality, period.
It's not kewl to second guess what only they know.

I am very secure in the fact that I am a human being and I don't need to have sexual labels to guide me in my decisions.
I make the sexual decisions I want to make.
I am not concerned with the insecure nature of some who need to have a label to tell them if they should suck a cock or eat a pussy.
I will do, what I want to do, and when I want to do it, and I don't give a rat's fat ass about labels.

I am not in any denial at all...
There are times I want to suck cock and I do.
There are times I want to eat pussy and I do.
My desires are fluid and not rigid and I do what I feel like doing.

Ok having purged my Irish flare...let me say I am not angry at you.
I understand you probably said what you said very innocently and is how I took it.
But I hope you can appreciate that most people are rather passionate about defining themselves as to who they want to be...
Just try to respect that and accept it as fact.

I'm glad that you know you are gay and that you are comfortable with that.
I'm glad I know I'm trysexual and I'm very comfortable with it.


BTW, "bisexuals are just gay guys who are in denial", Kinsey would strongly disagree with that, read him....
he understood the fluid nature of sexuality

 

[ritsuka]

I've had people insist to me before that "everyone is bisexual, so you aren't actually gay." And that is wrong, just as wrong as it is to say that bi-people are really homosexuals in denial, or that gay people are straight but in denial. It is up to the individual to define themselves, and not others.

Personally I'm 100% gay, but I prefer not to keep rigid gender definitions or boundaries otherwise, and I don't mind anyone except bigots.

 

[seancmovies]

Since i was a little kid, i had always liked men and women, therefore when i hit 14 i for sure knew i was bi, because one, i couldn't make up my mind, i love both sexes, and two, well it was just easier, i didn't have to pick one sex, as i love both. I think the media is making it a "pop culture" thing. It definitely helps women more though, as it is thought to be "sexy" if a girl likes another girl but i find it really stupid how the same guy that accepts lesbians and bisexual girls finds it disgusting when a guy kisses a guy or is bisexual. I just hate that.

 

[demonbarber]

Thank goodness bisexual men! As a gay man, I definitely find bisexual men appealing. They're like...straight men that we gay men can have. Love, love, love it! What was it that Maurice Chevalier used to sing? "Thank god for little bisexual boys!"

 

[XMan101]

Since i was a little kid, i had always liked men and women, therefore when i hit 14 i for sure knew i was bi, because one, i couldn't make up my mind, i love both sexes, and two, well it was just easier, i didn't have to pick one sex, as i love both. I think the media is making it a "pop culture" thing. It definitely helps women more though, as it is thought to be "sexy" if a girl likes another girl but i find it really stupid how the same guy that accepts lesbians and bisexual girls finds it disgusting when a guy kisses a guy or is bisexual. I just hate that.

I'm a great believer in freedom of mind & expression. Some people have hang-ups about certain things. It often comes down to the society they have been brought up in or live in. Don't condemn - educate

 

[Vanguard]

i'm bi-curious.like the media and bi trends make bisexulity seem bad when it really isn't

 

[XMan101]

I'm more & more thinking that there are more (hate the label) openly Bisexuals here than anyone else

What was that old song that went "free to be me" ?