Poll: Have You Ever Be In Love With Your Best Friend?

[trinibiguy]

Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. Sometimes they will cry with you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, because it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.

Your best friend is the closest person to you besides your own family. Guys will come and go of course.. Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation in which you realize that you are in love with your best friend. You may not come to terms with this until you watch them be with someone else. It’s not really a lust thing. You not trying to bone them or anything, you are just in love with the idea of being with someone, who loves you for you in a platonic way. I think jealousy is expected in some situations but it could kill the friendship if you don’t manage and suppress those negative feelings. You want your best friend to be happy but at the same time you don’t want your relationship with them to change or be altered because of an intimate relationship.

I am currently going through a similar situation.

It’s funny how we met. Initially I was probably his biggest fan as I admired his work. What was suppose to be a simple photoshoot and interview turned into a budding friendship. I don’t get to close to people easily and according to him, I wasn’t really putting much effort in us getting to know each other in the beginning. Somehow over the course of our friendship, he manage to creep into my heart and the rest is history. I don’t keep a lot of guy friends especially if they are gay. There is always that competition shit going on. He is the only person I can hang out with and be myself. We can do just about everything and manage to enjoy each others company. We are both big kids at heart and I just enjoy seeing him smile when he is with me.

Lately I must admit I probably haven’t been the best friend in the world lately. The truth is I do want my best friend to be happy but it’s hard watching him be with someone else. It’s weird because I met him when he had a boyfriend and I was fine with him having a boyfriend. As a matter of fact, the three of us would go out together and have a ball. It was hard when they broke up and the cirstances were very difficult to comprehend. He never really told me that he and his initial boyfriend had broken up. I knew they were on the brink of breaking up but I didn’t know it was that serious. My best friend is all about actions. Sometimes his way of telling you something is through his actions.

It kind of explains how he introduced his new love to me. I don’t want to dig too deep but I must admit immediately I wasn’t too happy about them. I am still struggling with it. On the outside looking in, the cirstances is kinda fucked up. It IS fucked up but sometimes situations can be complicated. Regardless of my thoughts and feelings, I do want to see him happy. I wish the cirstances would have been different but nobody is perfect.He has a new boyfriend now and it’s just not the same. I want to be happy for his new relationship but due to cirstances from the last relationship, it’s just hard. I am scared that things will change and he might change.



My best friend is not really an emotional person. He is not going to spill his whole heart to you and he can be very secretive at times. He has shared a great deal of his life experience with me. Sometimes I wonder how he is able to stand so strong with all that he has been through. Maybe that’s why I love on him so much. He is not emotional though. As a matter of fact, he has only really cried twice around me which tears me up inside because I know if he is crying, he is really hurt about something. It sucks when I am cause of his pain. He is quick to tell me to just fix the problem if you can fix it and let it go. He has admitted to me in the past that he has been jealous of my friendship with someone else but unlike my crazy ass, he got over it. We actually became closer after that.



I never saw him as boyfriend material and I KNOW that we could never be in an intimate relationship but I do love and care about him dearly. His hugs are the best hugs in the world. I look forward to them every time he comes around. The thing is throughout our friendship, he has alway been there for me. As I said before, I probably wasn’t the best friend he needed lately. We never had a arguments or any problems until recently. I was being the biggest asshole. I was treating his new boyfriend like the shit on the bottom of my shoe. I would think that his new boyfriend secretly didn’t like me and he is plotting to come between us. I would accuse my best friend of not caring about me and not being there when the truth is he is there EVERY time I needed him. He always manage to make time for me when he could. Even in the midst of our arguments, he would drop everything that he is doing in the middle of the night and would be at my back door. Mind you he has to work a full time job the next day and he has only a few hours before he has to be to work.



We would always make up and days would go by but secretly I was miserable because I wanted my best friend and fights would begin. Our last “fight” was something serious. I heard a tone in his voice that I never heard before. I knew that if I kept this charades up, I will lose him. It’s funny how you do all you can not to lose them but those actions are the reason why you end up losing them. I got used to my bestie being in my everyday life but I guess I forgot that he does have a private life outside of me. Again it’s just hard.

In the midst of that, I have my own personal demons that I am fighting and he has been there through it all. I know that he cares about me and I know I care about him. I want him to be happy and I don’t want to come between him and his new lover. As he would tell me, all we have is time. I am not a patience person at all but I will do my best to do my part in all of this. I want my bestie in my life and I want him to be happy.

I have never been in love with someone before. Again, this is not a sexual or intimate type of infatuation. I see my bestie more like my big brother. I am just in love with the fact that he is in my life. I would find myself getting sick of the thought of him being with someone else. I would have sleepless nights and the thoughts in my head always seems to get me trouble. I was so busy accusing him of being a horrible person and friend when it was me that was being the asshole. He still manage to stand there and take it.



If you ever met him, you would think he was this cold hearted thug with no emotions but deep inside I see that he is really a big teddy bear. He has the biggest heart. I know I would be devastated if something ever happens to him. He can be a bit stubborn at times and sometimes I don’t agree with his actions but he is the only person who can handle my madness. He is the calm to my storm. He puts up with my shit and he tears into my ass when he needs to. I don’t think I could ever find that in anyone else. I don’t want to lose him.

I am learning that I have to accept my bestie as he is as he has done with me. I am learning that I have to trust that he will be around even if he is in a new relationship. Nothing or nobody can come between our bond. I am still getting through it and it is probably one of the hardest fight of my life. I guess I am just scared that this new love will come between us so I do as I usually do and try to sabotage the friendship because deep down inside I feel like he is going to forget about me anyway. It’s not right but it’s my truth. I don’t want to do that now. I want him to be happy. I want him in my life.

Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Have you ever been jealous of any of his or her significant other? What did you do to get over it?

 

[Otage]

Well I can't say. Love is so hard to define, and am not sure that do you mean have I been sexually in love with my bf, assuming he was a guy? My bestfriend is a girl with whom I've known pretty much since birth, my old neighbour girl. She's like a sister without a blood connection, which to me is even higher than blood-related, since she has "earned" it And I love him very much, we can talk about anything, know eachothers so well. We could even start a family, have children, live together (well we almost do since we see others so often, and always have) we wouldn't have the need for sex (well, for babies we could do it ofc). The love we have is not sexual, but it isn't that basic 'I love you like a relative' etc. And she is dating now, and I'm happy for her, like she is always when I think I've found someone. We are always there for each others and want only the best for another

Once I thought I was in love with this guy I banged with (was wild alcohol fueled period, lots of fun), but not for second I thought that, that 'love' was higher than the one I have for my bestfriend:heart: And calling her best friend sounds like demotion, like a slander. I should figure out some word that descripes her importance to me better:big hug:

 

[RefixnarcisM]

Thanks for sharing your story. It's cute, whimsical and heartwarming. I really enjoy it (hmm... you gave me an inspiration with what to write in my novel.)

Back to the topic, no I never have that kind of feelings with my best friend. I always have some feeling from another... person, since I just know him from the surface only and not depth, we even doesn't hang out together, he's just a nice acquaintance. Yep, that's the right word.
He's nice, friendly, and can be silly too. Not a joker though. He's got this bad boy and womanizer vibes that so irresistible to me. I had some heartthrob experience with him once, when he kneeled down beside me begging for something... OMG he's just so cute, I can't even saw his puppy dog face. If I got siren in me, it might roaring loudly at that time. My heart just beating up like samba drum. My body temperature was went up to the notch and all that time I just look straight at the black board, afraid if he saw my red tomatoes face. And the stories goes
In the end of our junior highschool, we took separate ways. He's on social major while I'm on physics. And that was the last time I saw him. Sometimes I still miss him. Being secret admirer and closed gay can be sucks. I should have told him, though I don't expect him swing on the same way. At least it would fulfill my... feelings. I don't know another word to describe that.

 

[OLMPKY]

I had a best frend. But......I screwed up by telling HER how i felt. So we are no longer friends no more.

 

[jw4833]

If you guys have been following a lot of my discussion board posts...you noticed that I speak a lot about my late partner. Well...he and I actually started out as "best friends" which we had been prior to seriously dating for about 14 years. Although there had always been a certain chemistry between us during those years. However, cirstances never allow us to be more than friends during those years. What I do remember is that the first time I saw him ...he had entered the club with some friends of his and I was standing in a corner near the bar because I knew the bartender Dan who is also a very good friend of mine to this day...and when he saw me...he eyes were fixated on me. What surprised me was the fact that once he approached me...he came up to me and said "Hi" and introduced himself and just went in for a kiss which went on for about a good five minutes at least....haha...good thing I thought he was just as hot too...lol..but after the kiss..he whispered in my ear that he and I would become a couple in the near future and he will not give up until that day comes...I just took it on at the time as a line...but what I began to notice that even though during our friendship...either he or I were in a relationship but he always made sure that we maintain a solid friendship throughout and would be there for each other in times of need. So, when we finally did become a couple...it was a very easy and comforting relationship because during the friendship..we got to know each other really well and the only thing that really had disagreements about was that when I began to walk and function on my own after that terrible incident that occurred with me that I've spoke about several times as well...Since he had been with me and assist me throughout my healing and getting back into the world so to speak..it came a point where I wanted to be more independent and he was not comfortable with that. He felt it was too soon and wanted to be my protector and guardian every step of the way. You see...after all my stay in the hospital all that time and all that comes with overcoming everything else that came along in my journey...I developed agoraphobia which is very similar to anxiety attacks ...but I was and still not to some degree comfortable being in large public settings alone. However, with his tremendous assistance and guidance as well as my other friends...I've gotten a lot better with dealing with this...and then I put a lot of focus on my physical appearance because I felt and believed that this would keep people attention swayed from what was really going on with me eternally. This too is something that I still maintain to this day. Interesting thing is that after his death...I fell back into the agoraphobia phase along with anxiety attacks. So...in conclusion...he was a close friend in the beginning and fantastic partner at the end and I was totally in love with him ....