Problems with the stud...

[table123456789]

Hey guys! I have a little problem with my relationship...
I’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I really love my girlfriend. There’s just one problem: she doesn’t know that I’m bisexual.

When I started studying in October there has been one guy in the lecture hall who really attracted my attention. He’s a little bit shorter than me (1,85 m), blond, well muscled and has a damn sexy face and smile…he’s hot as hell!
When I checked his fb-profile, I saw that he was also bisexual. Jackpot! Although I am in a relationship, I couldn’t stop thinking on him.

One day I was at the gym and when I got to the showers, guess who was there? That hot guy from uni in his hot briefs! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I asked him if he was also studying medicine cause I didn’t know whether he knows me or not and so we started chatting. He was way cuter than I ever thought he would be. When I took off my t-shirt he was looking like he hasn’t had sex for years *lol*. He got into the shower and his eyes were like “follow me”. I couldn’t resist, I worked up my courage to follow him. When I got in he already jerked his dick. I fucked the hell out of him for like an hour *lol*. His dirty talk got me rock hard. It was pure erotic…

But now I have this strange feeling every time I see him, but he is so nice and adorable and he also acts like he wants more from me. It’s complicated, since I know that there’s my girlfriend at home waiting for me. I mean I love her but in the last few months we had our problems and it’s like were not getting any further. On the other hand, it would be very difficult for me to show up with a man in public or even worse: my family (they don’t know about my sexuality either).

Do you have any advice for me?

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

You have to be honest with yourself and you have to tell your girlfriend weather you stay with her or not. It sounds like to me you don't know exactly what you want which is okay but i think you should take some time and figure out what you want most. Honesty is important. Honesty with your girlfriend and honesty with your self. Its not worth living a lie. If you don't feel like you wanna stay with her she has to know. You enjoyed having sex with him it sounds like. So there's no doubt that you are bisexual. I think you should give a relationship with a man a try and then decide what you want. You shouldn't drag a relationship out if you know its not going to work.

 

[leevex]

honesty is the best policy... the truth shall set you free. You should just sort things out and weigh it.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I can only concur with the other responses above. Be honest with yourself and with your girlfriend and boyfriend.

 

[table123456789]

thanks guys, but isn't it hard to drop the bisexual-bomb by telling her that I had sex with a guy...I think she'll hate me until I'm dead, but I don't want that. She's nice and I don't wanna lose her as a friend

 

[jw4833]

I agree with the other guys and when you say that you "hate" to drop the bomb on her because she is a great girlfriend. Well, you know what?..then why are you having this secret life behind her back?..then too, you have to understand or you will learn in time that from your post, it appears that you will do this again..and again..and again..this is something that you will not leave at the back door with the hope that it will not forsee itself again. With that being said, have you ever heard the saying "What's in the dark, will soon come to light"?...well, eventually, she will find out and then this is when you will really have problems because she will be so pissed to find out without you having the decency to come clean with her in which after the initial shock, she will be able to respect you for doing so. Since its evident that you are bisexual, then you should get with a guy or girl who are just like you. That way there will be no conflicts. I feel you have a lot to sort out and unfortunately, someone will get hurt..no doubt about it!!!

 

[peter123]

I can comprehend your feelings

 

[topdog]

Here's another angle: I think the whole straight / gay / bi question is much less important than you think it is. Understandably it's very disorienting and you are trying to figure out who you are. But sexuality is a lot more fluid than people acknowledge. There is a lot of social pressure to to squeeze into a certain slot so people know which team you're on. Don't let putting a label on yourself distract you from issue at hand.

Which is this: Knowing who you love and are attracted to (and owning that) is really the goal here. It's the individual people ( your girlfriend and the hot guy friend) that matter. For example, I'm willing to bet that to your girlfriend the fact that you had sex with someone else is the big deal here. The gender of the outside partner is an important fact, but secondary. That is, assuming your relationship is supposed to be monogamous.

Do you want to see both your girlfriend and the hot guy? Is that what you need in a relationship? In that case you need to make clear to both that that is what you are offering. Then they can make their own decision about what they want. But it's important that you give these people the opportunity to explore what they need, and turn you down if it won't work for them. (Not everyone is cut out for monogamy, and not everyone can deal with polyamorous situations.)

Do you want to terminate the relationship with your girlfriend and start seeing just the guy? Then it's time to sit down and have "the talk" with your lady and explain where your heart is and set her free to find something better. (In that instance the fact that you want to see a guy might make the parting a bit easier for her.)

All of this is just a long way of saying the same thing that the others have said - it's better to be honest sooner, rather than sneak around and have the situation implode painfully later.

My point is that the bisexual issue is important to you personally, but it is not the main focus here. You are in a relationship with one person, and you are attracted to someone else. It's the oldest story in the world. Of course, that doesn't make it any easier when it happens to you. But, really, I don't think that the gender of the partners is all that relevant.

As for your parents, friends, etc. - you have to find a way to get yourself to the place where you can walk into a living room and introduce them to the person you love. It doesn't matter whether that person is black, white, male, female, Jewish, Catholic, Moslem, Chinese, or Texan. You love who you love - no labels are required.

It can be hard to get to that place of comfort and confidence, and you don't have to be there today. But you need to figure out how to get there, or you will spend a lot of years twisting yourself into role for the sole purpose of making other people comfortable.

 

[table123456789]

thanks guys for all your pieces of advice! I really appreciate every single one! It has been a struggle but eventually I talked to my girl and it turned out that she also wanted to break up with me because, and this is the best part, she cheated on me...some kinda funny! ^^ Well, I guess we weren't meant to be together. We're still cool and everything's alright (she has a new one too) And now I'm dating the guy He's charming, funny, nice, adorable, cute, hot and everything else
Thanks again guys, you really motivated me! Love ya!

 

[XMan101]

Hey I love a happy ending

Good to read everything turned out so well

 

[ryan_holtz]

The truth hurts at first but it will be very rewarding in the end. You have to be honest with your girlfriend. I think that telling her that you are bi would be much better than pretending to love her and make-believe her that you are still crazy about your relationship which is not really the case right now.

Regarding on telling your sexuality about your family, maybe at first, it will be hard for them to accept it but in the long run, they will definitely understand it 'coz they are your family in the first place. Time can heal wounds.

Regarding with other people will say, just ignore them. It's YOU who is living that life anyway, not them.

And with the hot guy that you are currently crazy with, just continue that relationship with him and be happy with what your heart dictates. :heart:

Hope I helped you out with your problem.

 

[chubboi2010]

i am in sort of the same situation, this is some good advice

 

[Haplo]

thanks guys for all your pieces of advice! I really appreciate every single one! It has been a struggle but eventually I talked to my girl and it turned out that she also wanted to break up with me because, and this is the best part, she cheated on me...some kinda funny! ^^ Well, I guess we weren't meant to be together. We're still cool and everything's alright (she has a new one too) And now I'm dating the guy He's charming, funny, nice, adorable, cute, hot and everything else
Thanks again guys, you really motivated me! Love ya!

One of the few times being cheated on is a reason for joy...
I was going to PM for news but then I checked here and noticed you had already posted them...
Glad everything went well, you deserve it!

 

[joshp23]

be honest with your girlfriend and yourself.