I first congratulate you Jd on your long lasting relationship and moreso that through those tough times you both had the compassion and understanding to see yourselves through it.
I was in my relationship for just short of 20 years. While we had our issues over the years, especially since we were both in our early years when we met, and we met in the early 80's in San Francisco, we always came home to each other. There were many drugs, alcohol and craziness in those years and while we committed to each other back then it was just not possible, even though it was never much more than a blow job here and there from someone...it was still something we tried to hide from each other..but we did grow up and mature, so to speak and from that point on it was he and I.
Fast forward ahead 15 years when I was 40. I took a job that would pay a ton of money, make me president and I could do whatever I want. I did, though, make my commute so long that I'd have to stay away all week and return on weekends.
Well, the story is too long to keep on, but suffice it to say that the lonliness was too much for both of us. My fault, yes. Why the fuck would anyone take a job that keeps you away from your lover all week long. In fact, being the so called "head of the household" I truly expected him to sit there and just wait for me to return on the weekend. Yea, I know..bullshit. Meanwhile, I did meet someone and while I didnt immediately have a sexual relationship with him, we enjoyed things I never had with my partner, I did eventually. And it got back to him.
The bottom line it was devastating. So much so, I regret to this day what I did and what the consequences were and I have been in turmoil ever since.
I dont know but being in a gay relationship poses many obstacles. Depending on where you live those obstacles differ but even in a liberal area like the San Fran Bay Area it still poses problems...but in my case, we had it all...great neighbors, great neighborhood, a home, dogs, friends and I made a wrong choice.
Theres so much more to my story but the underlying issue is never take your partner for granted. Love him, adore him, never allow life to become stagnant and never put someone ahead of your love for him. Its such a beautiful thing to be in love and as a gay couple its even more special...the challenges are plenty but the love is even more endless.
And congrats Wannaplay...love him a long time!!!