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sexual frustrated

W

wardell

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I'm 29 about to be 30 and I'm still a virgin how lame is that. I don't think I will ever be with any one. I'm so sexually frustrated that I am tempted to just hook up some one online but I know I will never do it. To afraid to. I just wish I could find some one to love me
 

jaykaytooooo

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Oh dude, u will find someone. There is always someone for someone. I truly believe that!
 
S

Sinnerr

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if you want it you must go for it. nothing will happen unless you will make it happen.

Two things: 1. you need to know what you want 2. you have to go for it

imagine where you want to be and get there. everything depends just on you.
 

Shelter

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if you want it you must go for it. nothing will happen unless you will make it happen.

Two things: 1. you need to know what you want 2. you have to go for it

imagine where you want to be and get there. everything depends just on you.

:agree::agree::agree::agree:
 

Otage

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You say you are sexually frustrated, but you just want someone to love you. Those are two totally different things. Sex is easy to find, love is harder.

I can understand your pessimistic attitude. It may be due to the fact that you have not totally accepted yourself as gay, or come out and to be who you truly are, which can effect your self confidence when it comes to thinking about sex and meeting guys. Start with small steps, excepting yourself as you are. That will hopefully boost your confidence.

I have been in the same situation as you. Your age doesn't matter, you're not even old yet:) I know it's hard to believe that you could find someone, if you are not out there being who you really are. Better late than never.

And that pessimistic attitude, it is your biggest enemy. Things can go so many ways, so why to always expect the worst? You have time and so many tries as you just keep on trying on going towards your goal. Don't get your pessimism hold you down. I almost broke up with this one guy I'm seeing, just because I was terrified I will break my heart. But now I will see how things will go(special thanks to jw4833:p). It can end, but that isn't the end of the world. If I won't try, I won't even have the slightest of chance of getting what I want. It isn't always easy, but nothing has to happen over night.

And I don't believe there is magically someone for everyone. The one who seeks, will find. And the wrong ones will just clerify your vision of what you want, failures will teach you how to do things different next time. Most broblems can be solved:)
 

jw4833

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I totally agree with the response that my buddy Otage have given you. However, I would like to add; If you have never been with a guy and/or is scared to take that chance to be with one..then how do you anticipate a guy to want to be with you especially since you are so inexperienced??...just like Otage mentioned in his response to you...first and foremost you need to embrace the individual you have become...In other words...love yourself because how are you going to exchange love if its ever given to you if you are not aware what love is which starts with you learning to love yourself?
 

Shelter

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You say you are sexually frustrated, but you just want someone to love you. Those are two totally different things. Sex is easy to find, love is harder.

I can understand your pessimistic attitude. It may be due to the fact that you have not totally accepted yourself as gay, or come out and to be who you truly are, which can effect your self confidence when it comes to thinking about sex and meeting guys. Start with small steps, excepting yourself as you are. That will hopefully boost your confidence.

I have been in the same situation as you. Your age doesn't matter, you're not even old yet:) I know it's hard to believe that you could find someone, if you are not out there being who you really are. Better late than never.

And that pessimistic attitude, it is your biggest enemy. Things can go so many ways, so why to always expect the worst? You have time and so many tries as you just keep on trying on going towards your goal. Don't get your pessimism hold you down. I almost broke up with this one guy I'm seeing, just because I was terrified I will break my heart. But now I will see how things will go(special thanks to jw4833:p). It can end, but that isn't the end of the world. If I won't try, I won't even have the slightest of chance of getting what I want. It isn't always easy, but nothing has to happen over night.

And I don't believe there is magically someone for everyone. The one who seeks, will find. And the wrong ones will just clerify your vision of what you want, failures will teach you how to do things different next time. Most broblems can be solved:)

Otage you are a philosopher - and let me say: a very good one!!!! :thumbs up:
What you have written here should be given to every young boy who feels his tendency to be gay. You can give them self-confidence through such true words. :thumbs up:
 

gb2000ie

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I'm 29 about to be 30 and I'm still a virgin how lame is that. I don't think I will ever be with any one. I'm so sexually frustrated that I am tempted to just hook up some one online but I know I will never do it. To afraid to. I just wish I could find some one to love me

As others have already said:

sex != love

( != means not equals )

I have no idea what kind of country you live in, so I have no idea how out you can be, but the more out you can be, the more likely you are to meet someone.

It's also been my experience that love doesn't work out if you are relying on it to fix something within yourself. You need to arrive at a place where you are happy enough in your own skin to be single, before you are ready to share yourself with someone else.

Your post brought back a lot of memories of a time in my life when I thought I was unhappy because I didn't have love, but what I learned after years of being miserable is that it was exactly the other way around - I was not finding love because I had not truly come to terms with who I really was, so I was not happy in my own skin. Once I arrived at a place where I could be single and feel fulfilled, that's when I became able to make relationships work.

I don't know of any short-cut to get from not being happy in your own skin to being content being yourself, but, I can tell you that I did eventually manage to get there, and that that's when I was ready to start what is now an 11 year relationship with a man I truly love.

*hugs*

B.
 

makenai

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i have the same problem no love nosex i have nothing
 
W

wardell

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Wil I took s step and put up a profile on a dating site and I was contacted by a 20 year old guy who thinks I'm cute and we have been talking then he says he's horny and what's to hook up for bj's a part of me says go for it but how can I safe one from std and two from getting kill
 

Otage

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Always let someone know where you go and with who. Second, guy seems like a one who suggests same kinda things for everyone, so he maybe a risky case without papers from tests. You gotta ask yourself, do you need more time to see if you can trust the guy. If he only talks about sex, he can lie about anything to get it. Study diseases, take caution, but don't let irrational fear stop everything. There are risks in everything, we can only minize them.
 
W

wardell

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I do know that sex is not love .what I was talking about was I want someone to love but I'm so desperate that I will just settle for a hook up just to fill what it's like to be with some. And as far as this guy goes, how to you know he telling the truth when he says he's clean
 

Otage

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You still dont have to jump up to the first guy that comes along. But good that you have taken the iniative. Chat with him more. See in your suspicions rise. Ask when he was tested. Ask later again and see of the time matches etc. Bullshitters usually talk criss cross if you chat with them long enough.
 

jw4833

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Forgive me for what I'm about to say...but I had an ex-friend who was very well-educated, financially established, but did not have that special someone in his life which was something he longed for. This is something that he always brought up all the time whenever we talked. What bothered me with his actions is that for someone who longed to have a guy in his life ..he would be reluctant to put himself in an environment to meet someone. He did not like going to clubs/bars or gay events where guys are present. The way he talks its as if he wanted someone to just appear at his doorstep. T he thing is...we all know that this is not happening. When I'm in a relationship or dating someone...he would get jealous or even at times...try to bad talk behind my back to whom I'm seeing. I guess what I'm trying to say to you is since you're inexperienced...is there anyone in your life that can support you to help you to aid you with meeting someone? or have you thought about watching educational/instructional regarding gay sex?....or even watching specific gay porn videos to get ideas for your personal development??..The fact of the matter is that most guys you meet will assume you have some kind sexual experience...In other words...they expect you to bring something to the table. Most guys do not have empathy for guys your age being a virgin...although there are virgins like yourself out there which would be ideal for you...but like I said...if you want to meet someone...try to be able to bring something to appeal to a guy.
 

Shelter

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Forgive me for what I'm about to say...but I had an ex-friend who was very well-educated, financially established, but did not have that special someone in his life which was something he longed for. This is something that he always brought up all the time whenever we talked. What bothered me with his actions is that for someone who longed to have a guy in his life ..he would be reluctant to put himself in an environment to meet someone. He did not like going to clubs/bars or gay events where guys are present. The way he talks its as if he wanted someone to just appear at his doorstep. T he thing is...we all know that this is not happening. When I'm in a relationship or dating someone...he would get jealous or even at times...try to bad talk behind my back to whom I'm seeing. I guess what I'm trying to say to you is since you're inexperienced...is there anyone in your life that can support you to help you to aid you with meeting someone? or have you thought about watching educational/instructional regarding gay sex?....or even watching specific gay porn videos to get ideas for your personal development??..The fact of the matter is that most guys you meet will assume you have some kind sexual experience...In other words...they expect you to bring something to the table. Most guys do not have empathy for guys your age being a virgin...although there are virgins like yourself out there which would be ideal for you...but like I said...if you want to meet someone...try to be able to bring something to appeal to a guy.

Very good spoken JW. I totally agree with your words. If I don't want to be alone I have to go out with open eyes and an open mind and will to find a counterpart. And I don't think if it would be better or safer to find a partner or friend trough the social networks or in person in a environment of gays.
Personally I would never search in the internet but only from eye to eye. That can too end dangerous - sure, but so is life!
 
W

wardell

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The only person I have to talk to is a friend of my James who lives I the UK we talk though Facebook and he is bi. What do you mean specific gay porn and were do I find educational/instructional things I have looked but I use to be like your exfriend just waiting for some one to come to me but I stoped doing that
 

jw4833

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If you look on this forum under Gay Themed Movies...there's a post entitled Hyp's Softcore Natural Men Movie Collection. There's a link for a video called "Better Gay Sex". Its somewhat of an instructional video that displays various aspects of effective gay sex. I believe its under the Page 2 if I'm not mistaken. Anyway ....look there..its a start...
 

topdog

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Wil I took s step and put up a profile on a dating site and I was contacted by a 20 year old guy who thinks I'm cute and we have been talking then he says he's horny and what's to hook up for bj's a part of me says go for it but how can I safe one from std and two from getting kill

That's great! Now, use common sense, but get out there and enjoy yourself. As you gain experience you will get better at learning who is worth your time and who isn't. That knowledge comes with practice. More will become clear as you go along. But like a baby bird it's time to jump, flap your wings, and trust your instincts.
 
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