Should I or should I not

[branko]

Hey guys,

i have little Problem - more or less.
A Friend or mine wanna visit me on the next friday and I want it as well, But^^

We wanna have sex, but there are some problems.
1. It is my first time and my pretty scaret, if it is realy my thing. Sometimes when I use my dildos immediately after the orgasm there is a though in my head like "Why do you have done this". I don't know why. I love it while doing it and I realy wanna have sex with a real person in that situation but directly after it is like I explained.
2. I have a girlfriend. I know^^. I don't realy would say that im gay or bi. I can't realy imagine to be in a relationship with a guy but i love the sex. And i don't know if it feels like cheating on her.
3. Maybe I'm scared of the thought that i can get gay or something...
4. He is not realy my kind of guy what I'm on to. I got one or two pounds to much on his hips, but please don't call me cursorily, but I'm the complete oposite. I'm a little underweighted. But back to topic. I love like he is and his penis is quite beatyfull
The good- or more mainthing is i can trust him. Sure, we will use a condom, but I take highly care of my life and my health. And I dont realy think that I can trust a random stranger.

So what shell I do? :/ I'm so confused.

Thanks :heart:

P.s.: Sorry for my english... Its not that good i guess. ^^'

 

[Tjerk12]

I am bisexual, so your problem is rather familiar to me. For me fidelity is important. Having a girlfriend I would not cheat on her. But . . . (there seems to be always a “but”) when you are not sure about your feelings about the same sex there is a serious problem. Deny this feeling is not a good option. It can become so strong that finally it destroys your relationship. Finding out seems a better option. So I would say go for it. But (again a “but”) when you find out to be bisexual it would be honest to let your girlfriend know about that.

 

[jw4833]

I totally agree with Tjerk12. I went through the same thing when I was confused about my sexual feelings toward guys but was in total denial because my family and society drilled in my head that being with a woman was what God approved and having sexual desires in regard to being with guys is against God's will. However, as time went on, I began to realize that these feelings were not going to disappear. In fact, they got stronger. What I will say that after finally have physical contact with my first male, it was basically kissing, touching and a lot of frottage or aka rub-a-dub-dub...I just finally came to the conclusion that I liked men and accepted the fact that I am a gay man. However, in your case, it seems as if you are a "closet bisexual". But I will say that if and when you decide to go that next level, then I think it would be appropriate if you would be honest with your girlfriend because in the long run, to hide it from her, will cause you nothing but unnecessary grief because she will eventually find out.

 

[robertm09]

I say... go for it....

 

[branko]

Ok thanks guys.
I think I will give it a try
:heart:

 

[777]

A girl point of view (maybe, since I know a lot of guys who'll agree with me)... cheating is cheating, it doesn't change the fact what ever the reason is. I'd ask about her opinion (you are in a relationship with HER!) about bi guys, about you maybe being one. She might have surprising opinions about it, but if she's totally against it (even when you give her a little time to think), and you still want to go for it, maybe then it's better to break off with her, try it with the guy and then think about things again. Because seriously, if the issue of having sex with a guy is so important to you that you'd rather break her trust and risk your relationship, it obviously isn't as important to you as the other thing. If you still feel like you like both genders but girls more, find a girlfriend who likes it when she can do stuff like watch gay porn with you or how ever she could encourage your bi side. Many women like to watch their men have sex with other men... you just have to find the right for you. Sticking with someone who can't accept who you are is painful in the long run, for both. If it comes out at some point that you've been cheating her with other men behind her back won't hurt her less than if the other people were other women - it might be even worse.

 

[luke.rhineheart]

1. If you decide to try it, you'll probably have a blast. First time may not be perfect, but it will be special. And why should you feel guilty if you like the feeling?
2. I agree with 777. Cheating is cheating. But I don't want to sound moralistic.
3. I don't think that having gay sex makes you gay. Either you are gay or you are not. And it's more about if you like guys best, both sexually and emotionally. There was also a time when I couldn't see myself being in a relationship with a guy. But after coming to terms with who I am, I eventually married one.
4. Whatever you do be safe. Morals apart, if you have a gf and you're having sex with her, her health must be protected as well.

 

[brmstn69]

Devils advocate...

It's not cheating if it's with another guy, and if it's your first time, then it's just experimenting.

If you tell her your feelings, there is always a chance of loosing her even without ever cheating. And what happens if you do tell her first, she gets pissed and leaves you, then you hook up with your buddy and discover that it's definitely not your cup of tea...

I say go for it, and if you discover that it's something that you just can't live without, then it's time to have a talk with the GF...

 

[branko]

I haven't done it.
I think it was a good choice, because of my GF

 

[777]

I haven't done it.
I think it was a good choice, because of my GF

To be honest I'm glad to hear it, even though I don't know you or your situation more. It hit close to home I guess. I've been cheated on (though with other women) and it just feels bad because it felt like he had zero respect for me among other things.

Have you talked with your girlfriend? I really think that's where you should start, unless she's completely homophobic and unable to handle anything like that.