So there's this guy I met online that I have a crush on...

[rohbi]

So I met this guy online, long story short I was looking for a roommate because I'm moving to this new city for work. He messaged me on the site and gave his cell number, we texted we spoke on the phone (where he told me he was gay but I didn't tell him about my orientation) and shared Facebook profiles and when I saw his pics I totally fell for him.

I've never felt this way before about any guy or girl(I'm a bi.) This has all been happening over the past week or so, but I can't stop thinking about him I have this huge crush on him. He didn't know that I really felt this way for him... until a few days ago. He texted me and he was like "dude, I was offered a place to live with a buddy of mine and I'm going to take it."

I felt like shit after reading that, and here is where I made my first mistake; in a last ditch attempt to wanting to get him as a roommate I confessed to him by text message that I had a crush for him, when I checked Facebook later that night I was un-friended.

I spent that night alone in my dark bedroom sad and pathetic, it was like the one guy I could ever see myself with just disappearing! Even though we never met and only knew what each other sounded like and what we could gather through pictures I felt like he was a guy like me: honest, caring, a great smile that could warm anyone's heart. I wanted him, and I still do.

He told me what he did for a living, and I remember from his Facebook page from where he works. I've been writing a love/confessional/pour-of-my-heart-out letter to him with the idea of mailing out to him. It's about a page long and he everything I really want him to know. This won't exactly be a long-distance relationship since I'll be moving to the same city with him in less than a month, but again I feel so strongly for him that I just don't know what else to do besides sit at home, dream, and google things...

 

[tonka]

You have a crush on this guy. We get it. Gayboy crushes are as common as the flu in winter.
But it's not him. It's your image of him in your head and your heart. You can keep that going, or you can do something else. You're moving in a month. Why not see what he's really like. His reality will certainly be different from your fantasy.

Tell him you're gay. If not a lover, maybe he can be a gay friend, who can show you around your new city. If you don't tell him you're gay, it ends before it begins.

But look at the reality of him. If you just see Prince Charming, it won't end well.

 

[rohbi]

You're right about everything you said tonka, I know. It's just my feelings that's got me up all like this, I just really want to meet him at least which I think we will when I move out there. I wanted to share this story to maybe get a few people to chime in on this, I appreciate it.

 

[Dendood]

"Potentially" you found someone that you may be able to love if cirstances fell into place. But more honestly you found the REALITY of your ability to love. All of this inner emotional store is all you. -He was looking for a place to live. An economic situation. You don't know enough about him to understand how or why he may not want anything more than that. You know nothing of his relationships. If he's seeing anyone. If he's been good or bad at relationships. You don't know his sexual history. Health. Preferences. The list of what could keep your stars out of alignment may be longer than 'War and Peace.'

The good, scarier news is your own 'switch' for being able to care, to feel, and to want to bond with another man is confirmed. In a sense, your heart "Just came out." Now that you know you're capable of feeling, move to that new place and start the hunt again. Open yourself to meeting other guys.

One of those guys might be this guy you like. Although you may want to try a much different tact than the one you've gone with so far. While all of us have fallen for someone based on looks alone, we aren't so understanding when it comes to being that object of attention from a random stranger. Life experience and dating memory is enough for most of us to see red flags where look alone become the central calling card for interaction.

Consider the likelihood that this guy is already seeing someone and he's merely looking for a place to stay that makes financial sense and without drama. Which is why he chose his friend. To instantly jump from 'let's room' to 'let's fuck' might be a bit much.
So slow down. Show him who you are and help him feel comfortable enough that you're interested in getting to know who he is. If he's itching for some of your man action -and it's available- trust me, it's like gravity. Liking attracts liking. You'll be smashing moons in no time flat.

 

[rohbi]

So here's an update: I texted him a couple days ago to say that I was sorry for coming on to him so strongly. I asked him if it would just be possible for us to get together and be friends.

His response a few minutes later in a nutshell was that there was no need to apologize and that he was flattered but he is currently seeing a guy that he likes right now and that he doesn't think it would be a good idea.

The next day he blocks me on Facebook. I've came to the conclusion that since I've played all the cards in my hand for this guy that I'm just going to get over him and move on; I hope that maybe in a few days or weeks that he contacts me and tells me what I want to hear but I think that just will not happen. Kinda sad... but oh well.

What do you all think now?

 

[topdog]

Here is a song to carry you through...

 

[hugmebear]

So I met this guy online, long story short I was looking for a roommate because I'm moving to this new city for work. He messaged me on the site and gave his cell number, we texted we spoke on the phone (where he told me he was gay but I didn't tell him about my orientation) and shared Facebook profiles and when I saw his pics I totally fell for him.

I've never felt this way before about any guy or girl(I'm a bi.) This has all been happening over the past week or so, but I can't stop thinking about him I have this huge crush on him. He didn't know that I really felt this way for him... until a few days ago. He texted me and he was like "dude, I was offered a place to live with a buddy of mine and I'm going to take it."

I felt like shit after reading that, and here is where I made my first mistake; in a last ditch attempt to wanting to get him as a roommate I confessed to him by text message that I had a crush for him, when I checked Facebook later that night I was un-friended.

I spent that night alone in my dark bedroom sad and pathetic, it was like the one guy I could ever see myself with just disappearing! Even though we never met and only knew what each other sounded like and what we could gather through pictures I felt like he was a guy like me: honest, caring, a great smile that could warm anyone's heart. I wanted him, and I still do.

He told me what he did for a living, and I remember from his Facebook page from where he works. I've been writing a love/confessional/pour-of-my-heart-out letter to him with the idea of mailing out to him. It's about a page long and he everything I really want him to know. This won't exactly be a long-distance relationship since I'll be moving to the same city with him in less than a month, but again I feel so strongly for him that I just don't know what else to do besides sit at home, dream, and google things...

He probably took it as manipulation with mocking. Not a word about your preference even after he tells you his. As soon as he gets a place, you whip out "Dude I'm hot for you"! I'd think you were harassing/gay bashing me if you wrote me a love letter after I unfriended you and just with a glimpse of my profile.

You weren't his friend, he only friended you for ease of making arrangements but he doesn't need your contacts anymore so he unfriended you.

So here's an update: I texted him a couple days ago to say that I was sorry for coming on to him so strongly. I asked him if it would just be possible for us to get together and be friends.

His response a few minutes later in a nutshell was that there was no need to apologize and that he was flattered but he is currently seeing a guy that he likes right now and that he doesn't think it would be a good idea.

The next day he blocks me on Facebook. I've came to the conclusion that since I've played all the cards in my hand for this guy that I'm just going to get over him and move on; I hope that maybe in a few days or weeks that he contacts me and tells me what I want to hear but I think that just will not happen. Kinda sad... but oh well.

What do you all think now?

I think it's creepy tbh. You web stalk him after being unfriended. He's with someone, makes it clear, and blocks you but you still wait for his communication and hope he carries you off in the sunset. It's very creepy.

 

[regnomraw]

Sorry to hear mate. It's best to move on with your life. You'll find someone else for sure.