Steam room experience - what should I do???

[ronih]

Thank you.

 

[topdog]

Congratulations! Your gay instincts kicked in and you handled that pretty well. Keep in mind, though, that you are like little Bambi exploring the cruise scene. Keep an eye on the more experienced bucks because they can alert you to danger.

As for whose gay and which one is straight... its a waste of mental energy. The only thing that matters is do I want to suck his cock, or does he want to suck mine. Anything beyond that is between him and his therapist.

On the specifics of the situation, yes, you had an open invitation to go as far as you dared. If you head in a direction in which your partner does not want to go, its pretty easy to improvise into something that will satisfy you both.

 

[fredinch]

It seems you're over analyzing. If someone jerks off in front of you in a public facility, they're probably down for just about anything.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I agree with the above post. From your description, the guy couldn't have made it more obvious if he had walked up to you and said "I want to have sex with you". What you do about it - take him upon his offer or choose not to - is up to you.

 

[kblocky13]

I agree with the two posts above, it's pretty obvious that he likes you. If you doubt that just ask him, it can't hurt.

So if you meet that guy again ask him if he liked what he saw last time and offer him a hand if he says yes. But don't do anything more than a handjob without protection, don't suck him off and don't let him suck you off if you don't have a condom with you, you can always end up at your or his place if you decide to take it further.

 

[topdog]

topdog - thanks for your reply. Few things tho:

Not sure I got the "...Keep an eye on the more experienced bucks because they can alert you to danger..." - what exactly do you mean by that?? (as you said "little Bambi exploring the cruise scene.." so need more explanation
...
One last thing, how do you know if the other guys in the steam room are into the j/o idea??

Sex in a public place is risky. That is part of it's appeal, and it's danger. The more experienced guys will be able to read the danger better than you. So you can watch them for the unspoken "cover up!", "all clear", and "this guy is OK" messages. In time, you will develop your own instincts and judgements.

Now what if you are on your own and a cute guy comes in? Ah, here is where cruising becomes a skill and an art. Tips:

• When he enters, make eye contact and give him an open friendly welcome. This gives you a chance check his general mood and interest, and also breaks the ice. Some try to take the cool disinterested approach, but that only works if you're Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk.
• The eyes are everything. If he is interested he will look at you. If he's bold you will get some direct eye contact. If he's shy he may steal glances.
• If you are interested, let him know. Make eye contact (without overdoing the staring.). Spread your legs. Casually move your hand across your crotch to your thigh.
• How does he react? Does he immediately follow your hand movement with interest? Does he make his own hand to crotch contact? If so, you have the beginning of the gay mating dance.
• If you have both made a tentative move, then take it to the next level. At this point it is unlikely that you have gotten the wrong impressions, but see if he will follow you to more blatant sexual signaling. Move your had back to your cock and casually rub it. Make it seem absent-minded in case you need an alibi. If he repeats the same movement, then you have hooked an interested party. From here move into whatever you have in mind.

I'm sure others have lots of other good tips but this should get you started.

 

[livelong]

Never had these experience myself. But this is some great advises. And sounds very hot. Hope all things are well.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

It's funny, but when I was first starting to discover my own sexuality I didn't need to read hints about how to tell whether someone else was interested, I could normally tell from the body language, what kind opf things they were saying, etc. Of course, there might have been one or two occasions when i got it wrong.

I also suspect there were times when a guy started out being interested and then suddenly changed his mind for one reason or another. In those situations, it's possible to think that your initial judgment was wrong, but maybe you were reading it right and the guy suddenly got cold feet.

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I need to share a hilarious experience I had some years ago (though looking back, it could have gone very wrong). I had finished my session at the gym I attended at the time, and although it was not a gay gym as such I knew there were several guys there who were "that way inclined". I sat in the sauna for a while, then went in the spa. Another very goodlooking young guy was in there, and we made conversation, but nothing "happened". Eventually I got out and started drying myself off. As I did so I caught sight of him in the mirror. This guy was staring at me fixedly, his eyes were just about bulging out of his head.

I turned around and looked, and he looked away slightly, but when I looked back in the mirror he was staring again, as though he had seen a ghost. I was puzzled that he had made no move while we were in the spa together, but I thought "OK, we have something happening here." Then he said something, which I couldn't make out because of the noise of the spa jets, so I moved across and asked him what he had said.

What he had said was: "That's my towel you're using!"

Oh dear. It so happened his towel was exactly the same as one of mine, not the one I had brought that day, and being somewhat preoccupied I had picked it up thinking it was mine.

There wasn't much I could do but apologise. He wasn't keen to take up my offer of lending him my own sweaty towel. I'm not sure if he believed me when I said it was completely unintentional.