Straight-acting or femme?

[Smackerton]

No offense meant to anyone here who might fit a particular description...

How do you want the guy you are after to act?

I find effeminate gays funny in the humorous sense, and enjoyable on that level, but they don't do it for me. Jack from Will and Grace was a riot, but I never wanted to bang him. (Speaking of Will and Grace, though touted as a gay show, it was really a straight, unrequited hetero-love show in drag, if you ask me, but that's another post). Nathan Lane, Harvey Fierstein, Jim Parsons (I don't know if he's actually gay, but he has that femme thing going), Paul Lynde... You get the drift. None appeal to me, though Parsons comes closest.

I prefer a guy that comes off straight, but isn't. I'm not talking macho (and certainly NOT muy macho, ala the campy variety). A, forgive the expression, "normal" kind of guy who is cute.

I remember when I first saw Sammy Case, and he was a pretty cute young man, but then I saw a video with him and while I was not entirely turned off by his voice and mannerisms, I must confess that femme thing did put a damper on things.

I am also not a fan of the drag look. I don't mind anyone dressing or looking however they feel comfortable, this is not a judgement call on their lifestyle, it just doesn't work my machine. I must confess not really getting how a guy attracted to other guys would want to look like a woman, or want that in his partner. If I were after women, I would want the real thing. If I want a guy, I want a guy that looks like a guy.

Because it takes different strokes (hah ), I was wanting to get youse guys's view on this matter. So, what do you prefer and why is that?

 

[Fredric13]

You bring up a great great question for inner exploration. In my life I've never been limited to what the person looks or acts like. All of my relationships have started by being attracted to the individual's mind.

I'm not going to lie, sexually, looks are a turn on, but sex only goes so far. If someone doesn't have a mind and we don't have a good deal in common, a relationship isn't possible.

I once read a book about homosexual relationships, while most of it seemed like crap to me, it did have a nugget of truth. Most of us seek in others what we desire ourselves to be. To successfully attract that, we have to become that.

Because of my vocation in life I've always been a "straight normal" kinda guy and that's who I primarily seek out. That doesn't mean I don't fall for just about any "type" if the moon is right on a Tuesday night.

 

[lhardwick69]

fem or manly it doesnt matter i just look at the guy for who he is not what i want him to be--i do tend to see myself leaning toward fem guys though and top never understood why--some guys like fem guys because they like to screw em and listen to them moan like a girl and so on--for me its the fem guy on top of me and giving my ass hell hehehe which am i --manly--have hard time to find a guy because i am to manly dont act fem at all

 

[XMan101]

Campness when it's over-effected is not a turn on for me, but I've been attracted to and have had "flings" with all types, the camp and the very non-camp types. If I like the person I don't care about his mannerisms.

Some guys are more naturally like that anyway, as long as they have a strong mind and have something to talk about other than the latest fashions it never bothers me what they're like

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Why is it assumed that a gay man must be either femme or straight-acting? Isn't it possible for a man to just be himself, without acting gay, or acting straight? And acting for whose benefit, anyway?

Sorry, but this is a pet peeve of mine. Few things make me seethe more than when a gay man says he likes his men to "act straight". I suck dick, so ipso facto I cannot act straight. If what you are trying to say is that you like your men to be masculine, then say so.

 

[smithma81]

While I agree that any guy should be allowed to act however he wishes to act, the guys that turn my head the quickest are the ones who are naturally more masculine.
I adore a man who takes good care of his body and has some shape to him (though he doesn't HAVE to be ripped) and someone who almost acts "straight", if we're going to use that in a stereotypical fashion.
But I still like him to be sensitive. I love a guy who can put his shapely arms around me and make me feel protected and valued. But this very same guy likes to sit back and let me go to work exploring every nook and cranny of his hot body while he just enjoys being pleased.

My older brother fits this description perfectly, and that's probably why I fell in love with it. When I came out of the closet to him, he didn't do anything but sit there (with his shirt off I might add and listen.

I've found a few guys out there, but I know there aren't a lot of them. But that's what I go for.

 

[gb2000ie]

I want guys to just be themselves and not play up to any of these stupid stereotypes!

B.

 

[wenson]

I am generally more attracted to guys who are "manly" twinks... I like them to be straight acting, but at the same time somewhat delicate.

 

[dummaque]

First off, could we just scrap straight-acting? Straight-acting is what a closeted man does- act straight. Butch covers the same terrain semantically, and can describe how a person is naturally, instead of suggesting some macho bs posturing.

Now me personally, I'd probably be on the nelly side of the middle ground, neither red nor blue, but a reddish shade of purple. As for preference in men- I can dig on a muy macho Captain Kirk, or a nelly fashion guru. The important thing would be a lack of artifice- I'm not interested in a guy acting effete or butch just because he feels the pressure from friends or family to live up to some expectation of what's acceptable.

 

[RefixnarcisM]

I like the straight-acting stud (not so bulky of course because it's pretty scary to me LOL) I'm not pretty confidence around the femme. I don't know, they seems a little bit to overreacted (in my country, that's the most type you often find.)
The type that I like was like Lucas Mascarini (my sigi and ava). Sadly he's straight #bummer

 

[fkboy1]

Neither macho....nor femme.
Just a normal, everyday guy.

 

[Hellax24]

The term "Str8 acting" is so repulsive sounding, so disgusting and idiotic to me and any other self respecting gay man. "Str8 Acting" ? WTF? Really? The only way to act Str8 is to "Act" in a manner that leads others to think you are attracted to women, which from where i stand means you are "Closeted" and masculinity has nothing to do with it. Equating "Str8 Acting" to being normal is also something a self hating gay man would latch onto to show the normal people how we are "Lesser Beings" then they are and know are place.

Back to the question, I am attracted to "Real" men who do not need to act in any way then who they truly are.

 

[c750dt]

Don a label and suddenly, your personality is dictated to match. Naturally, I don't care much for some of the more stereotypical gay people. However, a little bit of fem is fine with me.

So long as the guy isn't on the extreme for either side. Masculinity is just one of the variables that makes up a man.

I find heated remarks about masculinity or lack thereof to be more annoying. It's like the food at McDonalds; if you dislike it, that's fine but please get off your high horse and spare my ears so I can enjoy in peace.

 

[DMICS]

Neither macho....nor femme.
Just a normal, everyday guy.

What he said.

 

[HotDougBunz]

I have to jump on board jeansGuyOZ's comment. This has nothing to do with acting. I don't "act straight". I am a gay man who is masculine (as the world would view me) and when someone says they are attracted to my straight acting, I get really "straight" and angry challenging the remarks. It is not an act. Still, my heart is kind and I am most caring for others. I very much prefer masculine men. My partner is mostly masculine and I overlook his effeminate moments, that is love. He overlooks my unpolished side. Find love which is looking for the inner person. BTW, we have been together for 17 years.

 

[Armpit Licker]

i prefer the guy i'm after to be straight-acting, cause it would seem normal, and we could fit in normally. i act straight too, cause frankly no one i know, knows what my true sexuality is, and also because i find it awkward that i'm still a male, but act too feminine. i think i'd still like to give respect to the fact that i am male.

so having said that, i don't really think i "try to act" straight but i feel like, i'm gay but my mannerism is that of a heterosexual's. partly to hide "my true self", and cause i'm accustomed to it, and also because i'd still like to be a normal person and have respect for the fact that i am a guy, albeit i like guys too

 

[xXAsylumArmyXx]

I'm totally girly by nature. Although it isn't in the put-on way that a lot of gay guys are. I'm not in your face flaming queer but I just happen to be more femme in how I act.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Neither. I don't act.

 

[glupieslowka]

For me, it is important that the man I'm in love with is himself and no one else I do not like when someone's pretending to be someone he admires just to copy that person - mimicking is an actor's role. Moreover, if someone is male as opposed to female, the "determining" personal traits or the way of being of that person ought to agree with their gender, otherwise the mix seems to be a bit weird. So in general, a man should behave like a man without exaggerations and ought to express feelings

 

[alexfot55]

No offence to anybody.I just prefer the manly type.