straight men gay sex

[wardell]

Sorry if this have been talked about before but I have heard a lot of stories of straight men having gay sex do you think that the stigma of gay sex is fading or do you think this younger generation is more open mined about sex

 

[takeitall456]

Sorry if this have been talked about before but I have heard a lot of stories of straight men having gay sex do you think that the stigma of gay sex is fading or do you think this younger generation is more open mined about sex

Good question, some clues here : Anon URL

 

[gb2000ie]

I think the stigma against gay sex is going away, and I think we're getting less and less interested in labels. I think more guys are happy to just do what they want.

B.

 

[jw4833]

Since I've been a member of this forum, I have posted personal stories of my situations with straight men who have came on to me and then afterwards, they were in denial about what had occurred or encountered some confusion although they made the first move. In my opinion...I don't believe that society is more open and done with labels...this is something that has been going on for years where you just have straight men who have these urges to have sex with men and wants to keep it under cover so to speak. I am just speaking from my experience and more recent experience with a straight guy that I've met years ago and just last month while at a dinner party, this guy was there in attendance. After having a conversation at this party, he asked for my contact information in hopes to get together for lunch/dinner in the near future. Now...I am aware that this guy is married and has been for over twenty years and in my mind...I was just focusing on establishing a platonic friendship with this guy as I have with other straight guys that I know. However, while having lunch ....this guy made comments towards to let me know that he was interested in having sex with me but also went on to mention how much he loved his wife and how much she was his world. What I also noticed was that the few times he contacted me was only when she was at work or away from the house...never while she was in attendance. I also found out from someone who knows this guy that lives out of town who had mentioned to me that this guy has this routine where when he has the urge to have sex with men...he would go out of town for a week or two and pursue his urges and then goes back home to his life with his wife. This is something that he has been doing for years and although I was told that he and his wife never had a conversation about his bisexuality that its pretty apparent that she is aware of this but because he has provided such a comfortable lifestyle for her all of these years that she is willing to have a don't ask..don't tell relationship. Nonetheless...I am not interested and do not wish to be involved with such an individual because to me ....this is cheating and I feel I am worth so much more than to be a part of such drama. I have friends who have been approached by straight guys recently on a sexual basis and they want to be kept on the down low. Therefore, I decline to agree that people are more open minded, liberal and disconnected with labels...just my opinion though

 

[gorgik9]

Two things I'd like to say: First something one of my best friends on GH said a cople of years ago; he said: "I could say I'm technically bisexual, but I don't think this worn out old label gets to the point which is, that ALL my longer relations have been with women, but at the same time I've always had much, much more sex with other men. Even in periods when I'm in a relation with a woman." Conclusion? That desire for sex isn't necessarily the same thing as desire for relations. The problem? Well one of the more important problems is, that we still use - still very much like to use - the "good old" victorian terminology invented and used by the psychiatrists of the late 19th century. We're so damn un-imaginative we can't even start thinking about the difference between sexual orientation and relational orientation.

And second: thinking about how often I read posts on subjects like "is this porn actor really, really, really, really gay?", "can gay-for-pay really really really exist" and "can TRUE bisexual relations exists" - well to me it doesn't look like people will soon stop labelling each others...

 

[turkeyboy]

And second: thinking about how often I read posts on subjects like "is this porn actor really, really, really, really gay?", "can gay-for-pay really really really exist" and "can TRUE bisexual relations exists" - well to me it doesn't look like people will soon stop labelling each others...

Asking in the way of the examples you gave, as I'm sure we can all relate to, is a way for people to know exactly what we are asking, rather than "fluffing around the edges with words".
Could you please explain then, How would we ask these questions without it appearing to be a labeling issue, yet meaning the same thing ?

 

[Martinus]

Quite a lot of Rent Boy's are straight. Or like to think they are.

 

[iltman]

this question has been exercising me for years and i think one issue is the desire by society to impose binary labels on sexuality. i believe this may be one reason why many people both gay and straight have an issue with bisexuality which by its nature conceives a spectrum of desire.
i am hopeful that the evidence that today's teenagers are becoming more accepting of sexual fluidity will mean a loosening of societal constraits towards sexuality

 

[wardell]

I have all ways wondered why we have labels why not just sex who cares if it's a guy or girl just who ever makes you happy go have sex and have fun

 

[gorgik9]

this question has been exercising me for years and i think one issue is the desire by society to impose binary labels on sexuality. i believe this may be one reason why many people both gay and straight have an issue with bisexuality which by its nature conceives a spectrum of desire.
i am hopeful that the evidence that today's teenagers are becoming more accepting of sexual fluidity will mean a loosening of societal constraits towards sexuality

It seems I'm thinking a lot in iltman's direction, but the homo-hetero-bi discussion is still very one-dimensional...

Your preferred sexual object doesn't necessarily fit easily with the kind of relational patterns you prefer, and what about your preferred sexual activities? It happens so often that when young american homos (I'm 55 and Scandinavian) talk about gay sex, they start talking about buttfuckology: Oh are you top or bottom? Or versatile? But taking-for-granted that gay sex must be anal sex isn't particularly versatile...

It's taken for granted that gay sex MUST mean anal sex, but to me gay sex is sucking/getting sucked, licking/getting licked, rimming/getting rimmed etc etc; there's so much - too much! - taking-for-granted that sex must be anal, and if you're much more of an oralist (as I am) you're almost considered strange...

And let's talk a bit about another very good friend of mine on GH! As far as I know, he's a total homo and writes a lot about gay activism and gay news, but if you don't know he's a guy very much into footplay, you're missing something important...

So I think iltman's reasoning is important; we're so entangled in dualisms and binarisms, which impoverishes the language we have at hand to describe ourselves in general and our sexlife in particular...

 

[Shelter]

But what's with me as well as with many, many others who prefer anal-sex? Am I, are we "no good" gays because I/we like anal sex (and all the other variant forms)? I would be unhappy not to get what I want. Or perhaps I've misunderstood?

 

[platinumblk2]

For me, nothing has changed with regard to straight/bi-sexual men being more open about having sex with gay men.

Yes, straight people are more open and accepting of gay sex/people/culture than they were before BUT how many times have you heard a straight man say to his buddies, "you see that guy over there, I had great sex with him last week"..Never! If they have sex with guys then they keep it on the Down Low. The majority are too worried they will destroy their alleged happy home if their wife/girlfriend found out they sleep with men or their friends will abandon them or think their queer. Nothing has changed in that regard.

 

[Hyp]

Were the straight guys you had sex with as fully engaged as gay partners or were they mostly in it for their own pleasure and not yours?

 

[Otage]

To me it seems that there is much more wider belief in the huge amount of bisexuals and straight men who want to have sex with men, than amongst heterosexuals. Is it because the people who consider themselves straight, don't wanna shout it out?

I think that gay men wanna believe, that there are huge amount of bisexuals and straight men who wanna have sex with men, and they might also believe it, since they (or some their friends) have had sex with guys like that. And where would closeted straight men look for gay sex? There where there are gays. Today it's like 90's again, suddenly everybody says they are bi, but they only have sex with either men or women... :duh:

Or maybe it's just hard for me to understand, since I've never ever wanted to have sex with a woman

 

[anarren]

I had sex with a straight friend once, a long time back. It was funny - I learned later that basically he figured he'd done everything with girls (and I'd heard stories, as he'd dated some mutual friends!), and figured he wanted to try a guy.

So, he went through this amazingly complicated setup - I was visiting another friend in Tokyo (where he lives (though he's white/American)), and after a party he was like 'let's go drink more', but all the bars were closed. Then, he was like, 'let's get drinks at my place.' Trains were shut, and we'd taken a cab across town from where I was staying ... by this point I'd figured things out but made him keep working because it was adorable. Long story short, we ended up in the only motel we could find that would accept two guys together (Japan was still very anti-gay at the time), had pretty great sex, and are still friends.

His now wife is hilarious and I suspect kinky as hell.