Threats of abuse--What would you do?

[yj785]

I was taking the train home last night when someone across the aisle decided to call his girlfriend on his cell, which I find annoying enough, but he decided to converse with her on speakerphone.

At one point in the conversation, he threatened his girlfriend saying that he would kill her if she ever left him. She replied that that wasn't a problem because she'd never leave him.

She did not hang up, but I put on my headphones so that I would no longer have to listen to this loser on his cell phone.

Hypothetically--because I never would have dated this guy in the first place even if he were gay--had I been on the receiving end of such a call, I would have hung up immediately and never speak to the person again.

Has a love interest, boyfriend, partner, etc. ever threatened to kill you? How did you react?

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

 

[LuiM]

Well I would never get even involved with such a person too close.

But some girls don't like well behaved boys, they seek rough boys - you know like "real men" who then beat them and so on. In such cases they get what they've been looking for.

If she's is smart, she'll leave him immediately. But is she? I know many women who are beaten by their men, but they never leave, because they "love their men too much" :rolling eyes: X_X

 

[name_1]

hmm, interesting topic, well, some women (guys too) find it a fetish for guys to rough them up, you know, tie them and have rough sex. so i guess it is just each to their own preferences. personally, i get put off (totally put off) by rough sex, it needs to feel good and tender, definitely not rough.
never been in an abusive relationship but those abusive partners really need to wake up, relationship is supposed to be with love not fear, thoughts anyone?

 

[brmstn69]

Has a love interest, boyfriend, partner, etc. ever threatened to kill you? How did you react?

My ex shot me... Does that count?

And since I know there will be a bunch of :?X_X:worried::?X_X:worried:

Here's the short version...

We had both along with another roommate, been drinking heavily when we started arguing.Although I had never once laid a violent hand on him, my being much larger and stronger than him, he may have felt threatened, I don't know. Like I said I never laid a hand on him before, but he also knows, me being a Marine, what I'm capable of.
So he pulled a gun, pointed it at my head and fired. Luckily I was faster than him and managed to grab the gun just as it went off. To his complete shock and amazement I not only disarmed him, but I also dismantled the pistol (a Walther PPK knock-off) in under 3 seconds, dropping the pieces on the floor at his feet...
I then very calmly told him he had 5 min to grab his shit and get out of my house before I reassembled the pistol and turned it on him.
Of coarse my roommate had run downstairs to my mother when this happened and they both heard the shot and were waiting at the bottom of the stairs as I escorted him out the door.
After he left I sat on my mothers sofa in disbelief that he'd actually tried to shoot me when I heard my roommate whisper to my mother "Kevin's been shot.." and her reply "I know, shut the fuck up. If he notices he's liable to run down the street after him and kill him" That's when I looked down and saw my arm covered in blood. The bullet had grazed me pretty good, but nothing that my EMT or my mothers nursing skills couldn't handle...
I've only seen my ex once since then, he came by 2 years later to apologize and tell me he'd joined the Army and was being sent to Iraq.

I tell this story because something else happened today that brought it all back to me.
The argument that started all of this was over the stupidest thing, a fuckin' cat. I already had three cats and had told him no more, so he waited until I was in a better mood (shit-face drunk) to surprise me with the kitten he'd brought home.
Well, I got rid of him but kept the cat.
That was six years ago, today I came home from my first day on a new job that went really well and I was feeling good, for the first time in quite awhile I had a good day. But when I got home, immediately noticed the cat was acting strange, she seemed weak and off balance, stumbling several times in an attempt to get onto the window ledge. I sat her in the window and went down to tell my mother that something was wrong with her. When I came back up, she was gone... She had died that quickly...

 

[yj785]

Wow. That's an amazing story. Sorry to hear about your cat.

 

[slimjim]

I was taking the train home last night when someone across the aisle decided to call his girlfriend on his cell, which I find annoying enough, but he decided to converse with her on speakerphone.

At one point in the conversation, he threatened his girlfriend saying that he would kill her if she ever left him. She replied that that wasn't a problem because she'd never leave him.

From what you say happened my guess is that they were faking it... as some sort of joke, or to show-off in front of other passengers.

 

[JonnyFantastico]

Jeez, Kevin; what a sad way to bring that all back to you... my condolences to you over the loss of your cat and I personally thank you for being that strong to work through all of that. :hug:

I've been in that sort of relationship before... my first boyfriend, actually. I don't even remember what the argument was about (I think he wanted to have sex and I didn't on that day)... we were standing on top of a flight of stairs in his building and there was an overturned shopping cart at the beginning of it. He got pissed and pushed me... that shopping cart actually probably saved my life as it broke my fall somehow. I stood up, a little bruised, but more emotionally and told him that I never wanted to speak to him again and broke it off right then and there...

... and then, years later; he ended up dating the girl who would become my best friend... which means I had to deal with him. :?

One day, she was staying at my place and I had heard rumors that he was doing the same thing to her; beating her up, smacking her around... even nearly getting her killed when he got jumped by some thugs and ran off, leaving her defenseless.

He walked into my house and they started arguing... I walked into my hallway to see what was going on and I saw him push her... and it all came flooding back. :angry:

I ran up to him and shoved him as hard as I could into a closet door; the impact put a crack in the door and he slid to the floor; the doorknob had hit him in the back... I screamed at him, "If you ever put a fucking hand on her again, I will kill you."

And I meant it. He looked at me for the first time with fear in his eyes and walked away.

It took a while afterwards, but they broke up and she moved on.

I'm not saying anything that happened is OK in the least; in the end, I defended someone I loved dearly and in turn, finally closed a door on something I had held onto for a while... but sometimes, we think that words are just that: words. Sometimes, it could be a big sign of deeper rooted problems. You heard a phone conversation and I'm not sure if there was much you could do, unfortunately... I only hope she comes to her senses and realize that was he said is not a faction of love; that it's a deep-rooted problem and they both need help...

All you can do is have proper common sense and heart with something like this... don't be afraid to step in if you actually witness this. You could be saving a life.

(Sorry if I got a bit deep with this; it made me a little emotional, too.)

 

[yj785]

hmm, interesting topic, well, some women (guys too) find it a fetish for guys to rough them up, you know, tie them and have rough sex. so i guess it is just each to their own preferences.

It's possible to have rough sex without the relationship outside the bedroom being abusive.

 

[yj785]

From what you say happened my guess is that they were faking it... as some sort of joke, or to show-off in front of other passengers.

I don't think the guy was putting on a show. I think he just felt entitled to have his conversation on speakerphone. It was one of those "killing time on the train" calls that are so annoying.

Whatcha doin'?
Nothing? Me either. I'm on the train home...
blah, blah blah​

That's why his threat shocked me. I think he was completely serious and thought nothing was wrong with what he was saying. Perhaps he grew up hearing his mother's boyfriend say that to his mother.

 

[BugsyB]

I was taking the train home last night when someone across the aisle decided to call his girlfriend on his cell, which I find annoying enough, but he decided to converse with her on speakerphone.

At one point in the conversation, he threatened his girlfriend saying that he would kill her if she ever left him. She replied that that wasn't a problem because she'd never leave him.

She did not hang up, but I put on my headphones so that I would no longer have to listen to this loser on his cell phone.

Hypothetically--because I never would have dated this guy in the first place even if he were gay--had I been on the receiving end of such a call, I would have hung up immediately and never speak to the person again.

Has a love interest, boyfriend, partner, etc. ever threatened to kill you? How did you react?

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

nope im to big and strong for that...and i dont mean physically per say lol

My ex shot me... Does that count?

And since I know there will be a bunch of :?X_X:worried::?X_X:worried:

Here's the short version...

We had both along with another roommate, been drinking heavily when we started arguing.Although I had never once laid a violent hand on him, my being much larger and stronger than him, he may have felt threatened, I don't know. Like I said I never laid a hand on him before, but he also knows, me being a Marine, what I'm capable of.
So he pulled a gun, pointed it at my head and fired. Luckily I was faster than him and managed to grab the gun just as it went off. To his complete shock and amazement I not only disarmed him, but I also dismantled the pistol (a Walther PPK knock-off) in under 3 seconds, dropping the pieces on the floor at his feet...
I then very calmly told him he had 5 min to grab his shit and get out of my house before I reassembled the pistol and turned it on him.
Of coarse my roommate had run downstairs to my mother when this happened and they both heard the shot and were waiting at the bottom of the stairs as I escorted him out the door.
After he left I sat on my mothers sofa in disbelief that he'd actually tried to shoot me when I heard my roommate whisper to my mother "Kevin's been shot.." and her reply "I know, shut the fuck up. If he notices he's liable to run down the street after him and kill him" That's when I looked down and saw my arm covered in blood. The bullet had grazed me pretty good, but nothing that my EMT or my mothers nursing skills couldn't handle...
I've only seen my ex once since then, he came by 2 years later to apologize and tell me he'd joined the Army and was being sent to Iraq.

I tell this story because something else happened today that brought it all back to me.
The argument that started all of this was over the stupidest thing, a fuckin' cat. I already had three cats and had told him no more, so he waited until I was in a better mood (shit-face drunk) to surprise me with the kitten he'd brought home.
Well, I got rid of him but kept the cat.
That was six years ago, today I came home from my first day on a new job that went really well and I was feeling good, for the first time in quite awhile I had a good day. But when I got home, immediately noticed the cat was acting strange, she seemed weak and off balance, stumbling several times in an attempt to get onto the window ledge. I sat her in the window and went down to tell my mother that something was wrong with her. When I came back up, she was gone... She had died that quickly...

shot? a cat? and mom? and DRUNK? hmmmmm ok b...lol

 

[Askani]

As much as I have a tendency to attract weirdos and psychos I never had one that bad xD acouple of stalkers, but I was more of a threat to them physically then they would be to me, so eventually they stopped. I reall dont know what I'd do in her situation, If u think about it, she'd be probably powerless against him, maybe she have kids? Maybe he knows her family? Even if u look for help, he'll walk away with a warning... no actual proof that he wont just show up and shoot ya. I hope I'll neverget in such a kill or get killed situation xD Now I ask... what would U do if it ended like that? U said u'd hang up and never talk to him again... If he got as far as to threaten ur life... do u think that simply hanging up would end it? Or maybe just make him want to keep his promise? U have to remember that the crazy type is usually incredibly nice and trustworthy at first... U wouldnt realize where u got into b4 it was too late already -_- Oh I had a fail suicidal as a bf once too... no comments, one that try to kill himself... with pills... in the middle of the street... All I could say was for him to jump in front of a car, would have more of an impact on me -_-

 

[jw4833]

I was threatened by a guy that I had chatted with a few times online and he got mad at me because I was not interested in meeting him because he was too controlling and demanding..