"Touch me I want to be dirty"

[wardell]

"Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night. I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me, I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me Creature of the night"

no one said it better then Janet in the Rocky Horror picture show. this sums up how I feel more and more each day. I know I posted about my sexual morals and values I'm at a crossroads and don't know what to do I WANT SEXXXXX! I am so sick of being a virgin I want to go out and fuck like there no tomorrow I don't know what to do I'm sick of everyone having fun but me but I am to afraid to have sex I terrified of getting a HIV or Aids or any STD. I know that to be safe you always wear a condom but I cant even give or receive a blow job without fear I know that getting anything from oral is extremely low but the risk is there and I'm scared to have sex I don't know what to do I cant fight my urges any longer I WANT SEXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~X(

 

[Kr8zy]

How old are you? If you are over 21 there are plenty of places to get it. Whether it is worth it or not a totally different story, but... do you just want sex or do you really want a relationship?

 

[wardell]

sadly I'm 32 I want relationship but at the same time I and yes I know I said it was wrong but I also want to go out and just hook up I know all I need to do is go out and look or get on an app but I'm to afraid of sex it terrifies me I know know i've said all of this in the past but it helps to get it all out I have a problem you know in the past I was convinced I had Aids even though I'm a virgin I don't know why I thought it but It took me a long time to get over. and if I had sex I would probably have a panic attack

 

[Otage]

You can talk to people before sex. You can ask them stuff, see if they seem trustworthy etc. I don't know you area, but in here the chances of getting any "bad" diseases is quit low. People get tested, and don't wanna caught diseases and don't want to spread them.

You gotta be reasonable with your fears. Is good to be afraid of diseases, but be sensible. With that amount of fear towards anything other than stds, one would stay inside in fear of getting run over by car etc. Most diseases are curable, non is leathal.

Worst case scenarios: you live with disease or you die virgin. Anyway you live.

I've never had any disease. I have had sex with people who have had some minor trearable disease in the past. I've been in tests, my sex partners have been in tests etc. I always get to know people at least little bit before sex. Though you can never be sure, but that goes to anything in life. We have to accept some amount of not knowing. My biggest fear is to not live because of surrendering to fear. You can't know everything before hand, many things you can try to evaluate, but the real result can be seen afterwards, after trying.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Unfortunately, wardell, you have to make decisions on how to live your own life. No one else is able to do it for you.

If you ever do decide to give up your virginity, I hope to goodness you get your ideas well and truly sorted out beforehand, Otherwise the sex isn't going to be any good for either of you. You'll be thinking "I'm terrified... what if...", you won't be able to enjoy it, and it won't be fair on the other guy either.

 

[wardell]

I don't know how to get my ideas well and truly sorted. I know you all probably think I'm weird and over reacting but I just want to said is nice that I have somewhere that I can express my concerns

 

[Kr8zy]

Hate to be the banal perv here, well no I don't, but have you ever tried just going to a bathhouse? Try a nicer one like the Flex spas. You don't have to participate in anything. And it is not like you are stepping over writhing bodies in sex acts. Try it - loosen up a bit. You'll get over the whole life has passed you by bit, it will give you a little quirk.

Seriously, try it.

 

[wardell]

Hate to be the banal perv here, well no I don't, but have you ever tried just going to a bathhouse? Try a nicer one like the Flex spas. You don't have to participate in anything. And it is not like you are stepping over writhing bodies in sex acts. Try it - loosen up a bit. You'll get over the whole life has passed you by bit, it will give you a little quirk.

Seriously, try it.

how do I find one I don't think they would have any in Alabama

 

[anarren]

We all deserve a 'slut phase' - some of us take it later than others (I didn't until nearly 40!). Nowadays, in terms of health, talk to your doctor about PrEP. It's actually highly effective, especially when used with condoms, at reducing your risk of HIV to almost none. You do need to consider the other nasties out there (antibiotic gonorrhea is a bigger deal now), but again, using condoms will help you avoid that.

The key is to go your own pace and be comfortable. If your current doctor won't talk about PreP, find a new one. In the US, providers at community health centers are generally very well versed, affordable, and caring.

 

[wardell]

that's a another problem I cant tell my doc I'm gay. if he found out he would stop seeing me, he is a closed mined Christian if he found out I drunk or smoked pot he would stop seeing for that as well I have no Insurance so I cant see any one else he is the only one who will see me. it sucks you should be able to tell your doc anything without religion getting in the way

 

[wardell]

ok so I have joined Girder I'm going to try to get out of my confert zone but what do I say to a guy I like, most guys just put up a pic but no info about themselves so I don't know what to say

 

[Otage]

You are over planning again. Just say hi and go from there. It's just chatting. With some it flows, sometimes it won't. It's no big deal. You say smth, somebody says smth etc. Just chat what feels comfortable.

 

[Kr8zy]

that's a another problem I cant tell my doc I'm gay. if he found out he would stop seeing me, he is a closed mined Christian if he found out I drunk or smoked pot he would stop seeing for that as well I have no Insurance so I cant see any one else he is the only one who will see me. it sucks you should be able to tell your doc anything without religion getting in the way

Ok, changing my recommendation here.

If you are in a place where you can't tell your doctor you drink, your social and sex life are not priorities. This is downright dangerous. You need to get to a friendlier place. That may very well be half your problem right there. But in any case your health should not take a backseat to your sexuality, let alone drinking.

I would suggest starting with PFLAG - there is a Birmingham chapter I know, maybe also check with UAB - they may have a LGBTQ outreach program as well. You can probably qualify under freecare. In any case they will help you find someone you can see. Heck, they might even be able to help you find communities in your own community to connect with.

 

[topdog]

...If you are in a place where you can't tell your doctor you drink, your social and sex life are not priorities. This is downright dangerous. You need to get to a friendlier place...

Absolutely. Your doctor works for you. Fire him. Get someone new.

 

[gorgik9]

Absolutely. Your doctor works for you. Fire him. Get someone new.

wardell !

This makes me really angry & topdog is absolutely right: Your doctors job isn't christian biblethumplery - it's helping you with your medical, psychological and existential problems. If your doctor really is a professional doctor he has sworn an oath not on the Bible, but on the Hippocratic code - that's his "Bible" as a doctor.

It's not your job to adjust to his kind of christian world view, it's his feckin' job to help you with whatever you need help with...

 

[wardell]

I no its only been a short time but I cant get anyone to talk me on Grinder It sucks