Was not aware he was an asshole????

[jw4833]

Hey Guys:

I decided to take a chance and share this with you all and I am hoping that my decision is not something I will regret later on. Anyway...I've met a lot of guys on social media and I have to say that as you all well know...you can really meet some "crazies/idiots" to say the least. Over a year ago, I met this guy online and he had contacted me for advice since he was involved with a married man and had fallen in love and was not sure if the relationship was going to go in the direction that he wished it would. After hearing his story, I gave him my perspective on the topic. He thanked me and told me that he valued my opinions and wanted us to become online friends. I had no problem with this and although I do not visit this particular social network a lot...when I do and he is not online...I would leave him a message just to say "Hello". Many times..he would contact me to inform me what is going on in his life and seeking advice as well.

The last time we had any direct contact was in April of this year. He had a problem...asked for my advice and I gave it to him as well as some reading material that focused on the issue he was dealing with. One of his main problems was that he was not able to find a boyfriend and he also had issues with the fact that guys do not pursue him. He asked me what I thought it was and I responded with an honest response which was...although he is a good looking guy...I believe that from his posts that a lot of guys do not pursue him because he tends to be too serious about things that he should not be. He agreed with me on this because he mentioned that his mom and best friend had told him the exact same thing.

Anyway...he thanked me for my advice and told me that he misses chatting with me and perhaps in the near future I could carve out some time from my busy schedule for him. Also, he used to always complain about guys posting sexy and naked pictures on social media and how he found this to be degrading and slutty. However, a month ago, I went onto the site only to find that he had posted several provocative pics of himself and looking for likes and comments on them. I was confused about this considering how he always talked about this in a negative way.

So...today...I decided to go onto the site again only to find another new photo of this guy in some really, tight shorts shorts that revealed everything with nothing else on and another pic of him in underwear. I direct message him and left a humorous comment that said...boy...haven't we gotten to be very sexy and you are looking incredible in those shorts. As a joke...I implied that if he keeps posting these kind of pictures that we will have to have hot sex soon. I then made sure that I made mentioned that my last comment was a joke which is something that he and I would do with each other from time to time.

Since he was offline...I did not expect for him to respond so soon. To my surprise...he commented with "I don't have casual sex...I only have sex if I'm in a relationship"...the tone was very serious which prompted me to inform him again that I was just joking and did not mean any harm. He responded with he did not find my comment to be funny and took offense. I was really taken aback by this and did not respond initially...until he responded again with letting me know again that he did not find my joke to be funny. I responded with "Its okay ...no problem...have a nice day" and I moved on. He then responded with saying that he is beginning to think that I am a fake person to which I was really dumbfounded as to where all of this was coming from especially just a week ago...he contacted me to thank me for liking his pictures.

Therefore, I responded that he can think whatever he wants and I really don't care because what he thinks about me now does not matter...however...I don't know what bought this attitude on but if that's how you feel about me all of a sudden then I will not bother to contact him again. He ended the chat with "I wish you the best whomever you are" and all of a sudden a message appeared in red stating that he is not able to receive or take messages at this time.

Like I said earlier...this guy and I have been conversing over a year now and its always been pleasant...and since I received a nice message from him a week ago...I am somewhat confused at this point. I am also confused on his sudden urge to post sexy pics of himself when this was something he did not like...or so he said.

Now...I do have my thoughts about his actions of a sudden..but I bring this to the forum asking for those who took time to read this to give me your opinions. I thank you in advance...JW4833

 

[Dendood]

Back sloooowly out of the room..........

Slowly. Slowly.....

Gently turn the door handle....

Carefully ease yourself back through the door......gently, back through the door....

Close it gently.

Gently...

NOW RUN LIKE HELL AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Otage]

Seems like a bit selfcentered person. Wants to find love, wonders why people don't pursue him etc. Like this kind that just wishes and believes, gets frustrated when doesn't get what he wants even though he hasn't really even tried. Then when he starts to do something, well, it's the fastest method(sexy pictures) for casual hook-ups and sex seekers, not the best method for finding true relationship.

And he got tempered with you, since you obviously said what was true, and it might have been that you were there to kinda wittnes him eating his words, changing his attitude and method, and you kinda caught him pants down. Cornered rat

Or just the desperation, driving him on hook-up loop. And having sex only in relationship? I've seen the term relationship used so loosely... And sexy pictures doesn't mean he's having sex, just seeking attention.

And thinking you are fake person? Maybe he is just a drama whore? But no, I kinda wish to hope it's some kinda defence mechanism. Like if you are fake, then you're words, no matter how true they are, don't matter that much.

But ofc it's always hard to read too much about into these things, chats reduces the communication so much etc. And we have only your version, where you have included the incidents you think are relevant, but interesting read as usual:thinking:

 

[jw4833]

Well...like I've mentioned in my initial post...I do not visit that particular site a lot and when I do and when he initially contacted to start chat...everytime it was basically all about him and his concerns in regard to not meeting that "perfect guy". Otherwise...he loved to whine a lot...Many times...he has no concerns about what I may be dealing with...its all about him!!!..therefore...conversations with him is very one-sided. Dealing with an individual like him ...you tend to learn a lot about his character and his behavioral patterns which to me explains a lot as to why he is not able to connect with any one...along with the insecurities and jealousy as well. The jealousy I discovered last year when a guy he was familiar with was contacting me a lot and would dedicate postings/pictures to me for all to view. When this guy was doing this...he wasted no time to contact me and share his feelings about this guy which I knew from his words were pure jealousy once I found out that what he knew about this guy was from hearsay.

Nonetheless...yes...this is my perspective of the story because I am the one who decided to share this with the forum since he had never reacted that way towards me and I've been chatting with him well over a year and some months now which I found surprising to say the least. Thank you for your response...you've made some interesting points in your post...JW

As I also mentioned...since April and prior to April...I have not had that many direct chats with him due to the fact that he lives in Singapore and the situation with the time difference ...so therefore..he would contact me via direct mail and I would leave my responses for him to read when time allowed him to...so for me..he was looked upon as an online friend for chat. Once he started posting sexy pics ...I knew immediately he was doing that to gain attention initially..but at the same time...I found this behavior to be not of his liking if that makes sense.

 

[fatty]

I think as he is comes across as lonely and socially inept and as someone who has developed feelings for you based on your kindness. Otherwise why would he go on the defensive and feel the need to justify himself to you?

 

[jw4833]

I have to say that I am very impressed with your response Fatty...because I actually had came to the same conclusion but I wanted to present this to the forum in order to get others' opinions...thanks again for your response...JW

 

[SWAGGA]

if we wanted to be your friend, he wouldn't of treated you like that. block him back if you can and move on. hes not the only person out there, im sure hes not losing sleep over you. Life goes on

 

[jw4833]

if we wanted to be your friend, he wouldn't of treated you like that. block him back if you can and move on. hes not the only person out there, im sure hes not losing sleep over you. Life goes on

I am in no way losing sleep over this...many of the topics that I bring up are just for participation on the forum...nothing more....In fact, if you go back and read my initial post...I never mentioned losing sleep over this ...so why imply more into this that's not there within my initial topic of discussion...:?

 

[Shelter]

I am in no way losing sleep over this...many of the topics that I bring up are just for participation on the forum...nothing more....In fact, if you go back and read my initial post...I never mentioned losing sleep over this ...so why imply more into this that's not there within my initial topic of discussion...:?

Hello JW, my good friend - I think you have a little bit misunderstood the statement of Swagga! When I read it correct he said HE (the other person) will not loosing sleep over you and not you over him. Correct? :big hug:

 

[jw4833]

Hello JW, my good friend - I think you have a little bit misunderstood the statement of Swagga! When I read it correct he said HE (the other person) will not loosing sleep over you and not you over him. Correct? :big hug:

Thanks for pointing that out Shelter...I apologize for my misunderstanding...I tend to get on the defensive when I post topics on this forum because as innocent as they are..I tend to get attacked or misunderstood when I post them. Nonetheless...I misunderstood Swagga's intent. Thanks again Shelter for pointing that out....I really appreciate it...:cheers:

 

[fatty]

Two things JW:

The comment he made about you being fake was an emotional comment as we expect more from the ones we love.
The pictures were more than likely posted out of desperation as he felt other guys who do this have more success. It's sad really because now he has been untrue to himself!
I commend you for being nice to him and if you can overlook the negative statements stemming from his many emotions you could still talk to him. It is a cruel world sometimes as people by their nature shy away from the unhappy ones and they need friends more than anyone whereas the people who are chilled and happy attract others. Only he can help himself by doing things that make him feel good about himself. Maybe your being there will help him but probably not. By staying you risk more abuse as I'm sure he is too wrapped up in himself to appreciate you? He needs to take control of his own life, listen to people and realize that his best friend should be himself. When he learns to value himself, positive things should happen for him.

 

[jw4833]

Two things JW:

The comment he made about you being fake was an emotional comment as we expect more from the ones we love.
The pictures were more than likely posted out of desperation as he felt other guys who do this have more success. It's sad really because now he has been untrue to himself!
I commend you for being nice to him and if you can overlook the negative statements stemming from his many emotions you could still talk to him. It is a cruel world sometimes as people by their nature shy away from the unhappy ones and they need friends more than anyone whereas the people who are chilled and happy attract others. Only he can help himself by doing things that make him feel good about himself. Maybe your being there will help him but probably not. By staying you risk more abuse as I'm sure he is too wrapped up in himself to appreciate you? He needs to take control of his own life, listen to people and realize that his best friend should be himself. When he learns to value himself, positive things should happen for him.

Thank you so much Fatty for your responses to this post...I really appreciate them a lot.:thumbs up: