I know you are asking for sites, and I'm sure people will list some favorites, but I want to talk about BDSM, as it sounds like you are new.
Role play can be hot. My theory is that the physicality of sex can be stimulating, but when you add the brain and mind games to it things can really go through the roof and be amazing.
However, as sexy as it can be, there is also danger. In order to really make it work there are two additional ingredients to look for, and they are
trust and
respect. Anyone who wants to play with you owes you those two things, and if they are lacking then call the whole thing off.
Here is some advice on what a bottom or sub should look for in a partner - whether you are playing long term or one night only. A great top:
- Cares more for your feelings and pleasure than his own. Yes, maybe he is tying you up, dripping wax on your thighs, or using a whip - but he is doing it to maximize your experience and pleasure. If a top is just trying to get off at your expense - get out of there! Any top worthy of having sex with you will understand what a gift you are as a sexual man.
- Listens carefully and reads both your verbal and non-verbal signals. His goal is to take you on a journey, and it can't be some prepared script. That may be a starting point, but the rest is improvised based on how you respond. It's like an intimate dance between two people seeing a reaction and then deciding what to do next in the moment. The session is customized for you.
- Helps you set boundaries and respects them. Any session that will involve pain must begin with you setting the limits. Safe words are agreed on. This can be a difficult conversation for a beginner to manage. That's why a good top initiates it and helps you find safe places to start.
- Takes the control you give him, and gives it back when you request it. That is because you are both equals. Dom and sub are roles, not personalities. You are never less than your dom. You should be valued and respected. Your opinion matters.
- No top should ever do anything to you that he is not willing for you to do to him. This carries over from the previous point - you are equals.
You can have a great adventure. And an older partner who knows their way around and has real sexual skills can be an ideal person to "show you the ropes" (pardon the pun). BUT only if that person approaches you and your interaction with the trust and respect that you deserve.
Don't let anyone treat you like dirt. Because you are NOT dirt! You are a playful, sexual person who will be loved and valued as the gift you are.