I just want to tell about my problem . The problem that i have been dealing with it for months .Im 21 years old and i had only one relationship which took almost 6 months and it ended like 2 months ago . But it didn't really end .
First we had met on a website . we had talked on the net for 2 weeks . everything was cool . then we decided to meet in a place . The moment when saw him , i got shocked because he was much more better than i have expected . he was soo cute , nice and funny . he was perfect to me . he had all the qualities that i had been looking for ( his body , his chracter )... he also liked me too and we decided to start a reletionship.
i felt in love with him because he was amazing . i couldt take him out of my mind and i had been thinking him all day . we were meeting almost everyday . he is at the same age with me but we are in different colleges . when we met , i was crying because of happiness because he was just my dream guy and i was so lucky to find him ! we were talking on the phone almost everynight before we go to sleep and also talking during the day for hours .. 2 weeks after we started to date , we slept . it was unbelieveable for me . i did my first kiss , my first cuddling and my first sex ( the sex part was not very successful
) . . everything was going so good . we were sleeping at least one day in a week . he was the only person in the world knows that im gay . but he had many gay friends . and his gay friends were saying that we were such a nice couple.. i was trying to make him happy and i was trying so hard . i was so sure that i could give my life for him and he said he could too . i was loving him soo much , more than everything in the world .
after 4 months , he started to act weird . he started to change . he started to look at other guys when he was with me . i noticed that and i warned him but he said he wasnt looking at .. but he was .. then he became so numb to me . he wasn't talking to me much . he was looking bored when we met .he was just like not caring . i tried to talk him many times to learn if there was a problem . he said no . then we started to meet less . and two months ago he said he was not into me anymore . he said he doesnt love me as much as i love him . he said he cant consantrate on me and agree that he was looking at other guys . he decided to leave me .
i dont know how many night i cried after that . it was so bad because i was still loving him when he finished . and i still love him . but it was so interesting because we are still talking everyday. he knows that i still love him . he met 3 guys after me and he failed in three of them . he says no one cares him as much as i did . so he says maybe in the future he can be back to me . it is very stupid because he is kidding with me . he is neither leaving me nor dating with me. he wants me to wait for him . he says if he cant find anyone , he will be back to me. and i cant refuse him :rolling eyes:. i still answer his calls . i sometimes meet with him . i know im the most stupid in the world but im fucking loving him . i can say i dont want to talk to him anymore but i dont want to break his heart . as long as he cant find anyone , my hopes are getting bigger and bigger because i think he might be back to me . im such a fool . by the way , i will go to Portugal as an erasmus exchange student about 25 days later , and stay there for 6 months . im planning not to call him , not to write him and ignore him . so do you think should i totally refuse him ? or go on talking ? i want to refuse but i cant ! because i still have feelings for him and i dont know .. but as long as i talk to him , i will never forget him and cant go on living . im afraid of being obsessed with him
First we had met on a website . we had talked on the net for 2 weeks . everything was cool . then we decided to meet in a place . The moment when saw him , i got shocked because he was much more better than i have expected . he was soo cute , nice and funny . he was perfect to me . he had all the qualities that i had been looking for ( his body , his chracter )... he also liked me too and we decided to start a reletionship.
i felt in love with him because he was amazing . i couldt take him out of my mind and i had been thinking him all day . we were meeting almost everyday . he is at the same age with me but we are in different colleges . when we met , i was crying because of happiness because he was just my dream guy and i was so lucky to find him ! we were talking on the phone almost everynight before we go to sleep and also talking during the day for hours .. 2 weeks after we started to date , we slept . it was unbelieveable for me . i did my first kiss , my first cuddling and my first sex ( the sex part was not very successful
) . . everything was going so good . we were sleeping at least one day in a week . he was the only person in the world knows that im gay . but he had many gay friends . and his gay friends were saying that we were such a nice couple.. i was trying to make him happy and i was trying so hard . i was so sure that i could give my life for him and he said he could too . i was loving him soo much , more than everything in the world .after 4 months , he started to act weird . he started to change . he started to look at other guys when he was with me . i noticed that and i warned him but he said he wasnt looking at .. but he was .. then he became so numb to me . he wasn't talking to me much . he was looking bored when we met .he was just like not caring . i tried to talk him many times to learn if there was a problem . he said no . then we started to meet less . and two months ago he said he was not into me anymore . he said he doesnt love me as much as i love him . he said he cant consantrate on me and agree that he was looking at other guys . he decided to leave me .
i dont know how many night i cried after that . it was so bad because i was still loving him when he finished . and i still love him . but it was so interesting because we are still talking everyday. he knows that i still love him . he met 3 guys after me and he failed in three of them . he says no one cares him as much as i did . so he says maybe in the future he can be back to me . it is very stupid because he is kidding with me . he is neither leaving me nor dating with me. he wants me to wait for him . he says if he cant find anyone , he will be back to me. and i cant refuse him :rolling eyes:. i still answer his calls . i sometimes meet with him . i know im the most stupid in the world but im fucking loving him . i can say i dont want to talk to him anymore but i dont want to break his heart . as long as he cant find anyone , my hopes are getting bigger and bigger because i think he might be back to me . im such a fool . by the way , i will go to Portugal as an erasmus exchange student about 25 days later , and stay there for 6 months . im planning not to call him , not to write him and ignore him . so do you think should i totally refuse him ? or go on talking ? i want to refuse but i cant ! because i still have feelings for him and i dont know .. but as long as i talk to him , i will never forget him and cant go on living . im afraid of being obsessed with him
stances, but that's how it always is with your first guy. You always hold a little spark for them, I know I still do for mine, and that was nearly 8 years ago now! It's where you learn everything and really start to change as a person I guess, so you will always feel weak towards them I reckon.
