24 still a virgin and never been kissed

[js324]

I can relate to everything you posted and I don't think you're a loser.

I have no idea what to do....i'm still in the closet (partially), i think i'm gay but was forced to tell a friend that i'm bi about a month ago, she ambushed me at a party when i was drunk and it just came out. I felt no relief if anything i felt angry i told her and now she knows alittle more about me. I hate people thinking they know me and thats why i don't open up.

I get how you feel, I'm not really out to everybody, and I sometimes resent telling people, not b/c I worry that they won't accept me, but b/c I don't want people to suddenly feel like they know what I must like or don't like since I'm gay. Or that I'm only taking a certain position on a topic b/c I'm gay.

I have never touched a boy but once a girl asked if i was gay at a club on a night that my drink got spiked, luckily I said no and then she just started kissing me very briefly and then she just walked away.

My first kiss/boob grope was with a girl too. I knew I was gay, but I was in the back of a bus on a hs road trip and we were playing truth or dare. I didn't like it at all, but that could have also been b/c I was uncomfortable with multiple people watching

I have never had sex with a girl or a guy. I use to be terrified of catching something but now I realise if ever i become hiv postive i could still live a normal life.

I used to be terrified too, but you shouldn't necessarily get over your fears b/c you think you can lead a normal life with hiv, but rather b/c you realize that if you take the necessary precautions, you can enjoy a full sexual life and not just remain hiv free, but std free in general.

I have anorexia because i used to be overweight when i was younger, i still hate my body and have never showed my bare chest to anyone.

This should be your #1 issue to tackle, as it's what's currently having an impact on your physical and emotional well being the most. If you can get past your anorexia than you can do anything.

I can't imagine being intimate i just freeze at the thought that i don't know if the other person is clean, std disease free and hygienically.

Well, if you should meet a guy you want to be intimate with, I guess you're just going to have to get to know him well enough that should you ask him for test results prior to doing the deed, he'd get them for you. Also it's up to you to take preventative measures like condoms.

As far as hygiene goes, if he's got body odor, tell him to shower, and if you mean his love canal, tell him you'd prefer him to have an enema before getting it on

Also i'm hung up on a guy friend from highschool and can't seem to get over him, i still fantasize about growing old with him, i've tried not thinking about him which lasted one yearish but i find myself thinking of him when i wake up, brush my teeth, drive around, but groceries and then go to sleep. I have never met anyone that makes me feel the way he does.

From my first semester of high school, till my last, there was a guy I was always hung up on. After I graduated I didn't see him, but I still thought about him often for like 2 years. I even had a random dream or two about him. But as time went on, I got over him some.

The final nail in the coffin of that fantasy came when I ended up seeing him by chance in my 3rd year after hs. He was across the street, I didn't acknowledge him, I just observed him walking away and it was like my eyes had refocused and my view of him had changed. He was just as good looking as ever, but I realized that all amazing things I attributed to him were just part of the fantasy I had built up in my head over the 4 years that I knew him, and that in reality he was just another ordinary guy.

 

[Tjerk12]

Dear Kevra.
I am old, 66 years of age now. I recognize a lot of your feelings. When I was young I had the idea that I was ugly. Not that it did bother me in the way it seems to bother you, but it did not really help me in my feeling of self confidence. When I look back I have to admit that I was an idiot. I was married and got three kids. My oldest son seems to be an exact replica of me (when you see the photo's of me as a youngster). When he went to college he was chosen as the hunk of the year. And when I see my old photo's, I must admit, that it wasn't that bad at all. The point is, that it is difficult to accept your own appearance. Nearly everybody has that feeling. A time ago I found a photo of me, when I was 19 years old. A military passport photo. And to my surprise I must say that I didn't look so bad as I thought. Everybody says that my son is really l a copy of me. Even his wife says so. But still somewhere I have that old idea in my head that there is a difference. He is handsome and I wasn't. But growing older I developed an important attitude. I started to accept my reflection in the mirror. Handsome or not, I seem to be a nice guy. I started to accept myself. And the miracle result is, that it changed my appearance. I am popular nowadays. When there is a feast I really have problems not to dance. And I hate dancing. But things changed in a way that two weeks ago I danced all night at a party without drinking alcohol and even sometimes with three women at the same time (one 70, one 30 and one 18).
What I want to say with my story is, that it is important to accept who you are. We live more and more in a virtual world. People use make-up to appear better. But that doesn't help. It is not your appearance, but your personality that counts. You are a thinker, somebody who uses his brains. Brains are important, they keep you going. But they can also fool you. Nobody is perfect. My sister lived in Berlin and she was sitting in a famous bar next to a famous pop-star. But she didn't recognize him, because he was drunk and his make-up was not able to camouflage his real looks.
Of course it could be good to look for help, for therapists. But for a start it wouldn't hurt to go to the bathroom and look into the mirror, and look properly, and say okay guy, that's all there is. Start to accept who you are. And talk to yourself in the mirror. Seems odd, but I did and it did help.
When I was young there was a world famous female model "Twiggy". A sad girl in fact, because she had the same eating problem as you have. She became the NR one model of the world, but it didn't help her. She was not able to love herself.
When you want to be loved, start to love yourself.
I don't know if it will help you, but I will end with showing myself when I was 19. Ugly me.

 

[ttdgc4]

I believe I relate to your story. The only challenge with my side is, for me, I think I will not have any luck with the relationship. I have had friends who assumed I was gay and had a mission to expose me as a homosexual so that they could be in a way shame me.

In one instance one guy said in a very honest yet strong manner that he will do anything for just be cause he finds me attractive and believes he has a future to be in a relationship with me. I decided to be careful by telling him I wish to be patient with his words not to hurt him so he could give me time to ask myself some few questions. I later got to see his true intensions: he wanted to "trap me as a homosexual" and use me as a trophy to his church fellowship that he is cleansing the "unclean"

I believe everybody will know how to come out of the closet, at times it may be very late or early nonetheless, the key is to be true to yourself and never hate yourself.

 

[Rheinwein2]

Its ok. I am also a pretty shy guy, when it comes to getting to know new people. It needs time till I can talk to people more open. I am still 20, but I think, I am gonna be in the same situation like u in 4 years.

 

[joelr]

To all the virgins, it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to stay a virgin until you're comfortable. The worst thing you can do is rush into sex, especially unsafe sex with a guy who just wants to knock up a virgin.