chriskrak
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Sławomir Mrożek
* 29.06.1930 + 15.08.2013
I WANT TO BE A HORSE (1957)
My God, how much I'd like to be a horse.
As soon as I'd see in the mirror that instead of hands and feet I have hooves, a tail at the back and an authentic horse head, I'd immediately go to the housing department.
„A modern, big flat, please“, I would say.
„Put in an application and wait until it's your turn.“
„Ha, ha!“, I'd laugh. „Don't you see that I'm not some ordinary average citizen? I'm someone different, I'm someone special.“
And immediately I'd get a big, modern flat with a bathroom.
I'd appear on stage at a cabaret, and nobody could say that my texts were bad. On the contrary.
„As for a horse, this is excellent“, they'd praise me.
„He's got a strong head“, others would say.
Not to mention the advantages I'd draw from proverbs and expressions. Healthy like a horse, laugh like a horse, you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink...
Being a horse would certainly also have its negative aspects. It would hand a new weapon to my enemies. Sending me anonymous letters, they'd begin this way: „You think you're a horse? You're just a little pony.“
Women would be interested in me. „You're so different“, they'd say.
Going to heaven, I'd inevitably get wings. Thus, I'd become a Pegasus. A winged horse! Could there be anything more beautiful for man?
(Translated from Polish by chriskrak)
* 29.06.1930 + 15.08.2013
I WANT TO BE A HORSE (1957)
My God, how much I'd like to be a horse.
As soon as I'd see in the mirror that instead of hands and feet I have hooves, a tail at the back and an authentic horse head, I'd immediately go to the housing department.
„A modern, big flat, please“, I would say.
„Put in an application and wait until it's your turn.“
„Ha, ha!“, I'd laugh. „Don't you see that I'm not some ordinary average citizen? I'm someone different, I'm someone special.“
And immediately I'd get a big, modern flat with a bathroom.
I'd appear on stage at a cabaret, and nobody could say that my texts were bad. On the contrary.
„As for a horse, this is excellent“, they'd praise me.
„He's got a strong head“, others would say.
Not to mention the advantages I'd draw from proverbs and expressions. Healthy like a horse, laugh like a horse, you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink...
Being a horse would certainly also have its negative aspects. It would hand a new weapon to my enemies. Sending me anonymous letters, they'd begin this way: „You think you're a horse? You're just a little pony.“
Women would be interested in me. „You're so different“, they'd say.
Going to heaven, I'd inevitably get wings. Thus, I'd become a Pegasus. A winged horse! Could there be anything more beautiful for man?
(Translated from Polish by chriskrak)
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