A love letter

[herod]

I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff so I just want to vent.

Dear Jeff,

I never thought I would be in love with you. From the moment I picked you up from the airport, you were just another guy who would be my roommate. After the first dinner we had that first day, I found that you are intelligent, caring, and generous.

I thought you were one of those lazy bum who doesn't like working since you are so muscular. But I was wrong. You study so damn hard and that put me, a quite nerdy guy, to shame. I'm not saying you know all the answers, but you are very smart.

I really like it when you brought me food and candy when we study. I actually don't like any kind of candy since it's bad for you teeth and gets your blood sugar high unnecessarily. But I couldn't resist those lollipops and chocolate bars.

I didn't realise how much time we spent together until our recent exam. I would go to class with you, have lunch with you, study with you, and have dinner with you. Oh those were really good dinners. You always make the best dinner.

I gotta admit that you have a really good body too. I hate it when you stripped to your underwear. What I've seen is an angel. I hate it that I can't look at you for too long. It's very distracting. Sometimes I found myself looking at you when you are talking to me and I wouldn't hear a word out of your mouth. All I thought in my head was your face and how I would play with it. Oh and your deep voice, I can't have enough of it. Sometimes I wish you would just keep talking. I don't really care what you talk about but I just want to hear your voice. I can't help but smile when I see you and hear you.

This is such a mess. I wish I got enough guts to tell you all of this, but I'm a coward.

I've lost a good friendship before because of the so called love, and I am not willing to risk losing a friendship with you.

I wonder if the best thing to do is just to move away. Maybe we can still be friends and I won't be so madly in love with you. I am pretty sure that you are straight and that you will never have the same feeling for me.

But I love you now. I have to say I've never been so deeply in love.

Although you are single now, I know that one day you will find a girl who would be good enough for you (a fucking lucky girl). I feel like I am waiting for my heart to be broken when that day finally comes.

I hope that you will be happy and that I will be able to move on. It will not be easy, but I can do it.

 

[garth33]

You've written what your heart wants to say...how does your head (the BIG one) think he would react to receiving this? Thats obviously the BIG question. He obviously likes you as a friend...anything indicate there could be more mutual interest there?

g33

 

[bigsal]

Beautiful and touching letter.

Is an experience that, I think, have lived in many, including myself.

This is certainly not to console you, but it's a vacuum with the passage of time you be able to fill.

 

[herod]

You've written what your heart wants to say...how does your head (the BIG one) think he would react to receiving this? Thats obviously the BIG question. He obviously likes you as a friend...anything indicate there could be more mutual interest there?

g33

Thank you for reading and lol at the big head

I think there are three possible responses I can get from him.
1. He will get very uncomfortable and just stop hanging out with me altogether (unlikely since he is not homophobic). He is actually OK with gay marriage and stuff like that but when we watched a movie with a gay scene (a bj) he would say "gross".

2. Being an awesome guy that he is, he would not get upset. He would politely say that he is flattered but that he could see nothing between him and I. I had someone told me that he loved me before and I said those exact same words since I thought it was for the best. This would not actually be that bad for me. I think this is the most likely scenario.

3. We would rush to his/mine bedroom and have hot sex :heart::heart::heart:

Highly unlikely. :duh:

I don't think there is any indication that he likes me more than just friends. He does cook a lot for himself and me. I love it when he cooks with his shirt off. Can't resist.

 

[herod]

Beautiful and touching letter.

Is an experience that, I think, have lived in many, including myself.

This is certainly not to console you, but it's a vacuum with the passage of time you be able to fill.

If only this is not my freshmen year. I still have one and a half semesters to go before the second year. I guess the best way to handle this is to enjoy my time with him as much as possible?

How do you concentrate? I feel like whenever I'm with him, even in the library, I can't stop thinking about him. I guy's gotta study!

How much time does it take to get over someone?

 

[bigsal]

How much time does it take to get over someone?

I'm sorry, but no one has an answer for this.

It also depends on you.

You have to look outside of your room.

If you can see that there is a whole world around it, it will be easier for you.

But as I said, it depends on you.

Good luck.

 

[Tjerk12]

Herod,
You could use your eyes as a weapon. Just look a bit longer and deeper than normal into his eyes, or to parts of his body. If he does not like that, he will mention it and you can always say that you did not actually look, but that your thoughts were elsewhere. But when he likes it, he will make no objections and probably look back in the same way. Looks can melt ice. I know, I did it and it works, without the danger of destroying a friendship.

 

[herod]

Herod,
You could use your eyes as a weapon. Just look a bit longer and deeper than normal into his eyes, or to parts of his body. If he does not like that, he will mention it and you can always say that you did not actually look, but that your thoughts were elsewhere. But when he likes it, he will make no objections and probably look back in the same way. Looks can melt ice. I know, I did it and it works, without the danger of destroying a friendship.

A very interesting strategy I promise to try this one day.

Tonight will be our brownie night. He got a new recipe from TV and we will go shopping for the ingredients.

 

[tonka]

I was in love with my best friend during my high school years. And it was real love on my part.
He was strait, and it was another time. Nothing happened.

If you're pretty sure he strait, will your friendship be damaged if you come on to him? You might even get some action, but what about after?

You might try coming out to him. Telling him you are gay, and leaving it at that. If he has an itch, there you are to scratch it. In any case, you'll have a more honest friendship.

I know these are such hard questions. It's easy for us to sit back and suggest this or that. It's very hard to do.

Good luck. And remember, if not this boy, there's others.

 

[herod]

I'm just going to keep writing about him as if this is my dairy if that's ok with you people. I wonder if I come back a few years from now, what would I think of this?

Today we went to an authentic Italian place for lunch. He ordered for us his favorite dishes. They were excellent. We had some leftover for dinner and he cooked/attempted to cook us one of his home desert.

My belly is fat and happy. Food is so much better than high school now, thank to him p

I was in love with my best friend during my high school years. And it was real love on my part.
He was strait, and it was another time. Nothing happened.

If you're pretty sure he strait, will your friendship be damaged if you come on to him? You might even get some action, but what about after?

I think it will surely change. I feel like the more I know him, and the closer we are, the more I'm in love with him. He was raised in a very liberal part of the country and I don't think he mind gay people. I think I am happy with the ways things are already. I get to spend time with him each day. It's been great so far.

He is single at the moment. I wonder how I would react when he brings home a girl one night. Would I just get sad or would I be happy for him that he is happy? He said he is not in a rush and that he is a slave to his hands. I think with his face, body, and brain, he can easily find a lucky girl. X_X He looks like an angel to me.

You might try coming out to him. Telling him you are gay, and leaving it at that. If he has an itch, there you are to scratch it. In any case, you'll have a more honest friendship.

I would like to have a more honest friendship, but I just don't want things to change right now. I'm trying really hard just to pass my classes (excuses, excuses). Maybe I just want to see how far things can go first.

Good luck. And remember, if not this boy, there's others.

I love this last part.

Thank you for putting things in perspective.

 

[AleXXX UK]

We meet a lot of people we can't have in life. I think you should maximise your enjoyment of his friendship. Maybe after a period of time you may choose to come out to him but don't tell him you like him unless you're absolutely sure he won't end the friendship. You should also be looking out for the real Mr Right who is likely to reciprocate your feelings. By all means fantasise about him but don't jeopardise your real friendship over a crush.

In the future, when you're partnered with someone else you may wish to tell him that you had a crush in him. He'll probably know you well enough not to feel threatened and he may be flattered.

I don't want to crush your dreams but unless you've missed some very big signs its unlikely he'll be able to give you what you want. Why destroy something very real in the pursuit of a unrealistic fantasy?

 

[herod]

We meet a lot of people we can't have in life.

Wow, this is deep stuff.

I think you should maximise your enjoyment of his friendship. Maybe after a period of time you may choose to come out to him but don't tell him you like him unless you're absolutely sure he won't end the friendship. You should also be looking out for the real Mr Right who is likely to reciprocate your feelings. By all means fantasise about him but don't jeopardise your real friendship over a crush.

I think it will take years before I have the gut to tell him. It would be interesting to see what happens. Mr. Right, where are you?
I will continue to fantasise about him :blushing: I love seeing him cook. He concentrates on preparing and mixing the ingredients. I don't know why but he looks so calm and almost happy. I do know that I want to at least be his friend, just being around him is good enough. Hearing his voice is good.

I don't want to crush your dreams but unless you've missed some very big signs its unlikely he'll be able to give you what you want. Why destroy something very real in the pursuit of a unrealistic fantasy?

Thank you for your advice and for being truthful and realistic. I will cherish my time with him as much as possible. I don't have too much hope.

Like tonka said, if not his one, there's other.

 

[topdog]

... You might try coming out to him. Telling him you are gay, and leaving it at that. ..

This is really the first step you have to take. Yes, it makes you vulnerable - but that's a good thing. Being vulnerable with someone demonstrates that you trust him and your friendship.

We meet a lot of people we can't have in life...

So true. So learning how to cope with this will make the next time a bit easier.

 

[herod]

Dear Jeff,

I am writing to you again today to say that I still love you, but I am starting to see that my fantasy with you will remain a fantasy.

I am thankful the good times we are having. Your smile is very comforting. Although I think some of your comments are very stupid (you are such a guy), I still appreciate how smart you are. You have helped me a lot though this tough course we are taking.

Thanks for teaching me how to do exercises at the gym. I honestly wanted to just cool some steam of from studying at first, but then I started to notice you butt and I just can't get my eyes off of it I promise I'm there to learn!

Again, I love you. I also value our friendship, which is not a fantasy. As you go out more after the midterm, and if you find someone, that you will be happy.

I will try my darnest to be happy for you.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Wow, this is deep stuff.



I think it will take years before I have the gut to tell him. It would be interesting to see what happens. Mr. Right, where are you?
I will continue to fantasise about him :blushing: I love seeing him cook. He concentrates on preparing and mixing the ingredients. I don't know why but he looks so calm and almost happy. I do know that I want to at least be his friend, just being around him is good enough. Hearing his voice is good.





Thank you for your advice and for being truthful and realistic. I will cherish my time with him as much as possible. I don't have too much hope.

Like tonka said, if not his one, there's other.

It can be heart breaking watching the love of your life going about his daily routine and you so want to tell him how you feel. My advice? Enjoy the fantasy. When your laying in bed, hug that pillow, imagine smelling him, laying next to him, embracing him. Enjoy all those feelings and emotions. Dream that dream. Don't ever jeapordise a reality for a fantasy. When mr Right comes along, you'll look back and laugh at the fantasy. Look at it as a stop gap, wank bank material until your true soul male comes along.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Dear Jeff,

I am writing to you again today to say that I still love you, but I am starting to see that my fantasy with you will remain a fantasy.

I am thankful the good times we are having. Your smile is very comforting. Although I think some of your comments are very stupid (you are such a guy), I still appreciate how smart you are. You have helped me a lot though this tough course we are taking.

Thanks for teaching me how to do exercises at the gym. I honestly wanted to just cool some steam of from studying at first, but then I started to notice you butt and I just can't get my eyes off of it I promise I'm there to learn!

Again, I love you. I also value our friendship, which is not a fantasy. As you go out more after the midterm, and if you find someone, that you will be happy.

I will try my darnest to be happy for you.

If he's that naive milk him for everything he's worth. Go to the gym, get naked and shower with him. Do fun touchy feel stuff with him. Go as far as you can without revealing anything. I know it's a bit low and evil but you have this hot stupid dude who you should get what you possibly can from him

 

[herod]

If he's that naive milk him for everything he's worth. Go to the gym, get naked and shower with him. Do fun touchy feel stuff with him. Go as far as you can without revealing anything. I know it's a bit low and evil but you have this hot stupid dude who you should get what you possibly can from him

LOL, I like your thought very much. I wouldn't call him "stupid" since he did get into our professional program. I'm sure he's thinking something so I have to be careful.

But yeah, I'm doing my best to enjoy this before it's all gone.:cheers:

I remember after we went out with a bunch of people one night, he was really drunk and was about to pass out. During the trip back home he started puking in the car. I got to hold/hug him the whole time. That was how I got to feel his muscles for the first time. After I carried him to his bedroom he took his pants off and slept like a baby.

 

[AleXXX UK]

LOL, I like your thought very much. I wouldn't call him "stupid" since he did get into our professional program. I'm sure he's thinking something so I have to be careful.

But yeah, I'm doing my best to enjoy this before it's all gone.:cheers:

I remember after we went out with a bunch of people one night, he was really drunk and was about to pass out. During the trip back home he started puking in the car. I got to hold/hug him the whole time. That was how I got to feel his muscles for the first time. After I carried him to his bedroom he took his pants off and slept like a baby.

High five dude! We have all done that. Just macho things up a little every now and then, read the god awful boring sports reports and bond with him. Walk around naked near him and he'll do the same I guarantee (just learn to control that boner ).

If you're certain it's a no goer and you'll never really have him then take it up a notch. Fake a girlfriend, a broken heart lie your ass off and his guard and his underpants will but on the ground.

Enjoy every moment!

We're going to hell anyway. Lets just make sure we really earn our keep there!

 

[herod]

High five dude! We have all done that. Just macho things up a little every now and then, read the god awful boring sports reports and bond with him. Walk around naked near him and he'll do the same I guarantee (just learn to control that boner ).

If you're certain it's a no goer and you'll never really have him then take it up a notch. Fake a girlfriend, a broken heart lie your ass off and his guard and his underpants will but on the ground.

Enjoy every moment!

We're going to hell anyway. Lets just make sure we really earn our keep there!

Whoa! Do you have a story that you want to share?
Sport is so boring. I don't even know if I can force myself to care about it. I'm still trying to get into a better shape and maybe I'll do it then. By the way, how do you control your boner? I think it has a mind of its own.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Whoa! Do you have a story that you want to share?
Sport is so boring. I don't even know if I can force myself to care about it. I'm still trying to get into a better shape and maybe I'll do it then. By the way, how do you control your boner? I think it has a mind of its own.

Here are a couple of things off the top of my head.....

1. Used to touch guys up when tackling them during sports
2. Hump a little tackling during sports.
3. At college is used to go shirtless indoors to get the other guys to do the same
4 then when the football was on I'd bring out the beers and once they got a little drunk we'd strip down to underwear.
5 sometimes when they'd get drunk they'd pass out and depending on their underwear, package, sometimes a ball would drop out
6 that's pretty much how I got my drunk straight room mates to tea bag the passed out ones.
7 start walking around shirtless, they en do the same, then in your underwear and they do the same and then walk out of the shower naked, dry yourself and before you know if they do the same.
8 break the bathroom lock so you can just walk in when they're showing.
9 lie about your massaging skills and give the, a free session
10 once someone pissed me off so I jizzed in his milk carton.

The key is to be uber-macho so they feel insecure if they don't 'man up' like you.

It's like...

Me: you gay brah?
Him: no!
Me: well show me your dick
Him: ok

That's a bit of an exaggeration but the method works a treat