Are gay men less agressive

[Rigor100]

Than straight guys?

Serious question. I wonder if someone broke into my house would I lunge at the intruder fists flying. I think I would, but somehow feel inadequate... like I might get tearful and back out at the last moment.

 

[brmstn69]

I've seen drag queens chase off bikers, so no...

 

[Rigor100]

I've seen drag queens chase off bikers, so no...

Gay men still have the physical strength. Women only have 30% the strength of men. I was shocked to recently discover this. 30% is basically a quarter.

 

[Shelter]

When I first met my now partner he brought me to a gym. And in the meantime we are doing martial arts. So I think I'll have the ability to defend myself. I'm surely not Rocky or Superman - and I know when it is better to run away --- but what I want to say is: I'm not defenseless!

 

[trencherman]

I've seen drag queens chase off bikers, so no...

On the other hand, I knew a fellow who loved to gear up in metal studded leather to hang out at a leather bar on Christopher Street and knew of no other person who fell victim to muggings more than him.

As for me, I keep in shape to be always prepared. I am defenseless only when encountering drop dead gorgeous young men. Just fall to pieces and feel so weak.

 

[Rigor100]

Maybe gay guys are less likely to get into fights because of sexual attraction. With straight guys there is no sexual attraction to buffer or counteract the natural impetus towards aggression and sexual competition.

Does that make sense?

You rarely see gay guys in a bar fight. Straight guy on the other hand...

OR maybe alcohol acts differently on the gay brain... gay bar = no fights. Straight bar = fights.

 

[Shelter]

Perhaps gay guys are more sensitive (surely not all - by Jove no not all!) but the most of them! And they know: to decide a conflict there is no need to have fists and muscles but brain. Well but if brain will not help, than option 2: fists and muscles!

 

[trencherman]

Sometimes even gay people themselves have bought into this stereotyping made up by the straight population to convince themselves of their superiority. Effeminate, cowering, fickle, indiscriminate, etc. There is nothing typical in our outwardly projection. We are exactly like the general population except perhaps for our sexual preference.

 

[Mardo]

Sometimes even gay people themselves have bought into this stereotyping made up by the straight population to convince themselves of their superiority. Effeminate, cowering, fickle, indiscriminate, etc. There is nothing typical in our outwardly projection. We are exactly like the general population except perhaps for our sexual preference.

Why would we, for one second, want to be 'exactly like the general population'?

What's wrong with gay culture? As far as I know the leather bars, the saunas, all of it, is still there. When that all disappears, and I hope it never does, then you can say that we are 'exactly like the general population'.

At one time gay culture was disparagingly referred to as the 'gay lifestyle'. I would hate to thing that there is now an effort to sweep gay culture under the carpet and into a shame hole. Then we can all 'act' normal?

Normal is overrated. Always was and always will be.

:big hug:

 

[Mardo]

gay bar = no fights. Straight bar = fights.

In this regard gay and straight bars are chalk and cheese.

 

[dargelos]

I have spent much of my life in bars, usualy working, most of them straight, sometimes sober, sometimes not.
My experience informs me that;
The drug alcohol has a similar effect on it's users whatever their sexuality.
Fights can occur, though rarely, in gay bars.
Most straight bars never have any fights.
It is a small number of bars which account for a large proportion of the alcohol related violence, these are not gay bars.
Physical attraction can occur between males who consider themselves straight.
If you have been taught that affectionate contact between males is wrong and that contact between males is only 'manly' when it is in an aggressive context then that is a large hurdle to jump over when sober and an impossible hurdle when you are drunk.

 

[Mardo]

Most bars could mean 60% of them. I would not expect fights outside a bar that closes at Eleven or midnight, or that has very strict and watchful security staff. Also I would not expect too many fights at a bar which mostly attracts a mature crowd. Some bars are considered old-fashioned by younger guys, you know the type, ones with a few old drunks perched at the counter and not much else happening.

The fighting is happening, 99% of the time, between young heterosexual males, and mostly happens where ever they cluster the most, and drink the most?

 

[dargelos]

You should see the way the women fight in those type of bars. The threshold for violence is higher for girls but once it does kick off they make up for having less physical strength by being even more vicious than the boys.
It's like that with us puffs, we don't want to have to do it, but if we need to, we can defend ourselves.

 

[Mardo]

You should see the way the women fight in those type of bars. The threshold for violence is higher for girls but once it does kick off they make up for having less physical strength by being even more vicious than the boys.
It's like that with us puffs, we don't want to have to do it, but if we need to, we can defend ourselves.

Equality isn't emulating hetero men though.

Why object to the idea that you are less aggressive? Aggression is a negative trait.

I am proud that gay men are less aggressive. I don't care what the reasons are. It's EXCELLENT to be less aggressive.

Why assert that women are just as aggressive as men? It's bizarre lol. As though women are lesser beings if they cannot 'measure up' and be as aggressive as men.

OR am I missing something? :?

 

[dargelos]

Aggression is neither positive or negative, it is a motivating means. The end to which it is put is the deciding factor. And it is not neccessarily physical.
The fight for such gay rights as we have has been just that, a fight. Fought not with fists but loudly with marches, speeches, protests, and also quietly with the written word and the one to one conversation.
The campaigning of ACT UP was verbaly highly aggressive, extremely confrontational. Were they not right to be so energised when gay men were dying and those in power thought those deaths didn't matter because they were only fags.
I am proud that we can be aggressive when there is a good reason for it, then and only then.
As opposed to so many hetties who don't need any reason for it, good or bad.

 

[Mardo]

Aggression is neither positive or negative, it is a motivating means. The end to which it is put is the deciding factor. And it is not neccessarily physical.

You seem to be implying that aggression is a mysterious animating force hidden with us all, in precisely equal measure, irrespective of hormones, irrespective of sex, and gay men and women only appear to be less aggressive than hetero guys because they channel this mysterious animating force to positive ends... like nursing, or debating societies.

I don't buy that.

Aggression is real. It is not merely conceptual, a kind of fluid idea. That might work in the world of poetry and dreams, but not in factual terms.

It's a bit like saying 'I am sitting here channeling my aggressive energy into the power of knitting baby socks... and therefore I am just as aggressive as the local rowdy soccer louts! No you're not. You're just knitting!

The fight for such gay rights as we have has been just that, a fight. Fought not with fists but loudly with marches, speeches, protests, and also quietly with the written word and the one to one conversation.
The campaigning of ACT UP was verbaly highly aggressive, extremely confrontational. Were they not right to be so energised when gay men were dying and those in power thought those deaths didn't matter because they were only fags.
I am proud that we can be aggressive when there is a good reason for it, then and only then.
As opposed to so many hetties who don't need any reason for it, good or bad.

Very controlled and professionally directed aggression can be appropriate? I'm not sure. Soldiers must be trained to know that aggression can cloud judgement. So it is better to remain unemotional. Detached, if you will. That's what makes a soldier, or a policeman, both effective and ethical.

I'm not sure that saying 'ACT UP' were aggressive is paying a compliment. However, it's the exception that proves the rule. Gays are not known to be aggressive. Quite the opposite in fact. Why have a convoluted discussion that dances around that simple fact?

Also, women are less aggressive than men.

We know this. It is patently obvious. Why think women are equally aggressive? Factually, it's not true. It seems to me that the implication is somehow that women cannot 'measure up' to men unless they emulate male levels of aggression. Which is nonsense. Popular nonsense, but nonsense all the same.

Perhaps dargelous you merely mean to say that gay men, while less aggressive that hetero guys, are still somewhat aggressive? Oh I agree. No one here at any point suggested otherwise. The word used over and over is more.

You say for example 'verbally highly aggressive'. I.e. not physically aggressive. Which is just a long way of saying not as aggressive.

99.9999999999% of gay marches and protestors are completely peaceful. They are not 'highly verbally aggressive' lol. IT seems then that gays have to be put under more pressure to even become verbally agressive. Straight guys on the other hands end up in rivers of blood over a football match.

Isn't that the plain truth of it?

 

[Rheinwein2]

Nah, so many aggressive ones aswell. It just depends on their cirstances I'd say.