Can a true "bisexual" relationship work?

[bottlesofpop]

Thoughts? It sounds like something that works in theory but fails in reality.

I've seen an usual amount of ads of men claiming to be married, in a relationship (with a female) and wanting some play on the side. Most of them, I don't believe. I think it's a ploy to get people attracted to your ad. There still is that odd amount of gay men that love to "turn" a straight male.

Regardless of how these males choose to identify sexually, they can't deny wanting to be with another male in some capacity. However, I don't think most woman would be okay with that.

 

[lhardwick69]

with me it would--just as long as I am the only guy he is fucking and there is only one girl he is fucking--and doesn't want me into threesome with him and her and doesn't try to trick me into sucking his dick he just pulled out of the girls pussy hours earlier---

 

[lyonhunter]

I would guess no. Some people perceive bisexuality to be a myth. It depends on the person and the relationship. There is a difference between acceptance and tolerance. I don't think anyone will be 100% ok with their partner sleeping around. I feel people will tolerate it for so long before an ultimatum is presented.

Speaking as a bi male. I've had relationship with men and women, and I am upfront about my bisexuality. In my case, most women are not ok with it, even if the woman is bi. For me, when I'm with a woman, I'm with a woman. When I'm with a man, I'm with a man. I do get urges here and there but never acted upon them.

 

[mem]

"People have to removed that sexual connotations stamped to bisexual... we too want love but we have much more choice on our menu."

I agree 100%.

 

[Martinus]

Surely everyone's bisexual. It's only a matter of degree.

 

[Goatboystef]

The question is a little confused: it seems to be asking about the practicality of bi men in relationships, but is tagged onto a question, basically, about an open or polyamorous relationship.

 

[topdog]

The question is a little confused: it seems to be asking about the practicality of bi men in relationships, but is tagged onto a question, basically, about an open or poly amorous relationship.

My thoughts, exactly. There are separate issues being swirled around and treated as if they are the same thing.

Do you want a sexually exclusive relationship? No other men; no other women? Then you are looking for monogamy. Whether the outside fling is with a man or a woman is irrelevant. This has nothing to do with bi-sexuality.

If someone is in love with you, does it bother you that they have been attracted to women in the past (and may be again in the future)? In that case the sexual orientation of your partner is an issue.

But your preferences aside, not all marriages are sexually exclusive. That goes for both gay and straight marriages. Long-term relationships tend to work best when the sexual boundaries are discussed, understood, and respected. Where a couple draws the lines is less important than the fact that they are able to honestly deal with them. So I would not be so quick to impose my sexual standards on another couple's relationship.

Still, since many men would say anything to get a sexy young thing into bed, your original skepticism may still turn out to be right more times than it is wrong!

 

[berod86]

The way I see it, some people try to link bisexuality with cheating. While it may be true that most bisexual men cheat at some point, I think it has absolutely nothing with being bisexual. It's a fact: most men cheat at some point in their lives, regardless of sexual orientation. Being sexually exclusive is difficult because temptation is always out there. Again, this has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Using bisexuality as an excuse is a cop-out, in my opinion. You choose to have sex with one person exclusively and resist other desires, or you don't. Period. So the point I guess I was trying to make is that, yes a bisexual relationship can work just as well as a relationship with a person of any sexual orientation. Actually, I think the thing that often ruins the relationship in a bisexual/non bisexual couple is the paranoia/insecurity that the non-bisexual person often (but not always) tends to feel.

I say this, of course, assuming you meant a monogamous relationship with a bisexual person. An open relationship can work just as well, provided both people in the relationship are OK with the agreement.

 

[Sinnerr]

Relocated from "porn and sex discussion" and STICKED

Interesting thread to me. Althought I'm exclusively into guys

 

[wegv]

Yes, it might work.. i think there should be a mutual understanding for both sides especially if the other guy is married. I can relate myself, were already 6 years-

 

[arnhem25]

yes

 

[cacc]

I don't reckon it can, too much jealousy imo

 

[bottom4daddydick]

hard to deal when the guy you are dating leaves you for a woman.

 

[exxory]

I would rather love a woman, but I prefer gay sex any day. I am sure that I have hurt a number of people as a result and I tend to avoid deep relationships for that reason. The older I get, the less I am attracted to women.

 

[Tjerk12]

For a bisexual relationship you need at least four persons, two males and two females. When I was a youngster - the sixties of the last century - they experimented a lot on this field. Also on larger scale, communes where everybody did it with everybody. But, as far as I know, such relationships never lasted long.
In ancient Rome people had several wives and beside that steady male relationships.
In early Christianity even popes had several wives and sometimes combined with male sexual friendships.
But it wouldn't be my thing. Love, sex and friendships combined is as cooking in a Devil's kitchen.

 

[arjun]

yes

 

[down_the_street]

I'm bisexual. Right down the middle. Give me an equally hot man and woman, and tell me I can pick one, I'd flip a coin.

That said, I've had a world of trouble dating. Granted that I live in a religiously conservative part of the U.S., it's still odd that even progressive folk harbor some fairly disappointing prejudices. Straight women often find male bisexuality to be "yucky" (a word I heard on a date once; no nookie for me that night) and gay men think bi men are cowards who refuse to come out of the closet.

And yes, the cheating issue: Male bisexuality is perceived by many to be a thin veneer for rampant infidelity.

Read the major LGBTQ magazines/blogs and at some point, you'll think, "If they want to be intellectually honest, they'll remove the 'B.'" I've seen more ink spilt over the proper pronoun for Pvt. Manning than I have for all bi issues put together over the last year.

So ... a little disappointed.

I rarely encounter other single bi guys. I do find men who are married and probably are bi or even gay but allowed themselves to be badgered into the kind of relationship my part of the world finds normative. So you end up with these odd stories like what happened to me a few years ago ... no joke ... met a cool guy at a gay bar. Went back to his house. Worst sex ever. Then he got twitchy. Turned out it was his third wedding anniversary (not disclosed until we were naked in his bed) and his wife was due home from her second-shift job within a half-hour. So I basically got the "sorry I couldn't keep it hard enough to penetrate it for you, now get out before my wife finds out."

 

[davidc]

@down the street: great post, great comments. I am bisexual, too, right down the middle. Somewhere else in these forums I've posted about my commitment and sincere attraction to the one gender when in the relationship. Then things don't work out and I am single again, then the other gender moves in. Maybe, maybe not. I have given up discussing bisexuality with anyone, since every person believes to have the definitive answer; I do not feel the need to justify where-I-stick-my-what-where-into-whom anymore.
On a related note: the other day I was talking with a 100% gay very good friend of mine who is not promiscuous (that's my department ) and he said he resents the LGBT denomination, since he is G, period. He resents the rolling us "freaks" into one big ball of "otherness" and aberration sexuality. We realized we don't know any T's, and B's are allegedly rare. That got me thinking into how narrow we all really are. Just sayin'.

 

[down_the_street]

@davidc ... Oh, yeah. I feel your pain.

 

[clh_hilary]

Can't see how this is any different from an open relationship, and open does work. It really depends on your goal(s) in and view about relationships. And certainly your partner(s)'(s).